MOB constantly on phone
Not sure how unique this problem is, but I need opinions. Despite our sometimes difficult relationship, I love my mother dearly. She has been wonderful during the planning process and (much to my surprise) has let a lot of choices go that I thought she would have issue with.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
My mother loves her iPhone and has been on it constantly since she got it three years ago. While she needs it for her work, which often isn’t a 9-5 arrangement, it has become a major distraction for her. When I come home for holidays, she spends almost the entirety of our family dinners texting, answering emails, Facebooking. She spent most of our last family vacation (the last before I get married and can’t go on as many) on her phone. She texted through my master’s degree graduation, dress shopping, and a joint pedicure last time I was home that she begged me to do so we could “spend time together.” She even is on her phone during dinners and events with people outside of my family; I was truly embarrassed when my future mother-in-law came to visit my hometown for the first time and saw this behavior. It’s like she’s 16!
While I don’t think I will ever be able to change her overall behavior, I am very worried about my wedding day. I am afraid she is going to miss important moments because she is on her phone. I am her oldest child and the first to get married and we have grown closer during this process -- this is a big day that I want her to be completely present for. I am especially worried about her texting, Facebooking, and doing other things on it during the church ceremony. Besides the embarrassment of a 50-something woman being on her phone during her daughter’s wedding ceremony, I also don’t want the first pictures of my wedding to be taken from the pew and posted on Facebook. I am well aware that I cannot control another person’s behavior, but I want to make an attempt to bring this up with her, despite the fact that I know she will get defensive. What would you all suggest?
Re: MOB constantly on phone
You can't control your mother's (or anyones) behavior.
You can change the facebook settings for your account to require your permission to post any picture that you are tagged in, but that will only "stop" her if she tags you in it.
Start the converstation about this now. And don't make it about the wedding. When she asks about spending quality time with you, say that will be great, but can you leave your phone at home? Start pointin out her behavior now, she probably doesn't even realize what she is doing.
As for the wedding, any way you can conspire with your dad to have your mom accidentally forget her phone at home?
FWIW, my friend's H works for a non-profit that has a religious aspect to it. They do great work for the community, but the president of the non-profit always has a blue tooth piece in his ear! He even wears it at their black tie fundraiser they have once a year. And my friend told me, that during a prayer service while he was on stage in front of everyone, he answered it! All while a pastor was giving a sermon.