How to include nieces and nephews into the wedding???

msangelloz14

i have 2 nieces: 2 and 7 years old
1 nephew who's 10.
he has 1 niece: 4 years old
1 nephew who's 3 years old.
i'd really love to include them all,
BUT HOW DO I DO THAT?

Jen4948

Well, first of all, the 2 year old is too young to participate in any capacity other than guest.  Just take some photos with her.

The 3 and 4 year olds can be ring bearer and flower girl respectively.

The 7 and 10 year olds can be a bridesmaid and bridesman or groomsman respectively.  They wouldn't attend bachelor/ette parties with "adult" elements, but there is no reason they can't walk down the aisle with you along with any other attendants.  They don't need to carry signs, ring bells, or anything like that.

Lauderdale Pink

Just to add to Jen4948, you might want to find a high school student to baby sit when the younger guests get overly tired or overly stimulated.  We had that option at my daughter's wedding.  It did not break the budget, the parents of the little ones got to have fun and were able to check on their children throughout the evening and the kids had TV, videos, video games, and toys, which were way more fun.  We even had their own "kiddie" buffet catered by our favorite clown with the golden arches! (McDonalds).

AddieCake

I agree the 2-year-old is too young. I'm not a fan of babies "participating" in weddings (b/c they aren't participating, really). 

AddieCake

CatholicWife13 said:

FWIW, my flower girls were 7 & 10, so I personally think those ages are not too old to be a FG / RB

Also a good point. Our ring bearer was 7. 

speedyblazer11

Just two question, have you asked them if they would like to participate? Or have you asked their parents if it is ok if they have a "role".  My brother didn't want anything to do with being a groomsman or usher or anything.  He wanted to be a guest and stay out of pictures (he is shy and doesn't like to be the center of our crazy fam).  Plus at those ages the parents would be spending money or outfits for your wedding and I wouldn't want to get your nieces an nephews excited to have a part and then their parents not be able to afford it.

I agree with everyone above that 2 is too young to play a part other than a few pictures, but all the other suggestions are fabulous. Good luck!

vmj23

I too have a ton of niece and nephews, and don't want to leave any out.  1 niece, age  7, and 5 nephews (one is a newborn, and won't be part of the wedding, he'll be 6 months old at the time of the wedding).  I decided to have the 1 girl as flower girl and 2 boys (4&5) as ring bearer but had no idea what to do with the older  2 boys (will be 12 and 9 for wedding).  I asked my sister in law who told me they wouldn't be offended if they are not part of the wedding, but suggested I have them to readings.  I might also have them be ushers, haven't decided. 

I suggest asking their parents

HisGirlFriday13

I'll disagree here. My nephew was two years and four months old at our wedding, and he did WONDERFULLY. He walked down the aisle with my MOH, he stood at the front with his mom (my SIL, who was BM), and then he sat in the seat quietly and played with his plastic dinosaur for the entirety of the hour-long Mass. He had no problems whatsoever. I think it very much depends on the individual child -- you can't make a blanket statement and say, "All two-year-olds are too young." My two-year-old nephew did fine, and I've seen seven- and eight-year-old FGs have meltdowns.

Jen4948

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I'll disagree here. My nephew was two years and four months old at our wedding, and he did WONDERFULLY. He walked down the aisle with my MOH, he stood at the front with his mom (my SIL, who was BM), and then he sat in the seat quietly and played with his plastic dinosaur for the entirety of the hour-long Mass. He had no problems whatsoever. I think it very much depends on the individual child -- you can't make a blanket statement and say, "All two-year-olds are too young." My two-year-old nephew did fine, and I've seen seven- and eight-year-old FGs have meltdowns.

But at the same time, one individual child cannot be the basis for a rule that all children under, say, age 3 can handle being in a wedding.  Some can, some can't, but that so many don't seem to be able to do it makes it not advisable as a rule to assume that children in this age group can.

artbyallie

Ashley0606 said:

Kids add fun and liveliness to a wedding. You can make your nephews and nieces to dress like pretty angels or according to the theme of your wedding. The young girls can be the flower girls and boys as ring bearer.

What?! That is really, really terrible advice. They're people, not props.

vk2204

We had four kids in our wedding. 9 & 7 year old girls who were bridesmaids (their choice) and 4 & 2 year old ring bearers. They all did an awesome job! For the 2 y/o - we knew he would do well, but just in case we were prepared to let him walk in with his parents who were both in the wedding, or just go in with his grandparents. But the four kids walked in together and it was perfect!

But I have also been to weddings where the children (ages 1 - 6) would throw fits and cry and want to run around. If there are kids involoved I think you just need to be prepared for anything.

Jen4948

Ashley0606 said:

Kids add fun and liveliness to a wedding. You can make your nephews and nieces to dress like pretty angels or according to the theme of your wedding. The young girls can be the flower girls and boys as ring bearer.

Not always.  Sometimes kids add whining, meltdowns, and other misbehavior at the expense of the adult honorees.

And not only that, no matter how much "fun" or "liveliness" kids might add, some people just aren't that much into kids and prefer their weddings to be adults-only anyway.  They're not being "selfish" or "rude" to want that and so plan their weddings.

vmj23

My nephew's have been in wedding when they were young ages without any problem.  For when, when he was still young (probably 2ish) i went to the ceremony (it wasn't a wedding I was attending) and sat towards the front on an aisle.  When he was finished walking down the aisle i took him out of the church and watched him until the ceremony was over and it worked out fine.