Open bar etiquette????

Arianapearls

Is it tacky to have open bar at cocktail hour then close bar during dinner and offer only wine service then open the bar back up after dinner? 7-8 open bar 8-10 wine service w dinner 10-12 open bar And is 2 hours too long for 3 course dinner? Salad, entree, cake cutting....

s-aries8990

Arianapearls said:

Is it tacky to have open bar at cocktail hour then close bar during dinner and offer only wine service then open the bar back up after dinner? 7-8 open bar 8-10 wine service w dinner 10-12 open bar And is 2 hours too long for 3 course dinner? Salad, entree, cake cutting....

I think 2 hours is a bit long for a 3 course dinner, and I think it is too long to close down the bar. Can you try closing it down for just an hour or 90 minutes?  I don't think that dinner will take more than 90 minutes maximum.

It's not tacky to close the bar during dinner, but I think it is to close it down for nearly half the night.

southernbelle0915

Yes. It's also confusing for guests. I'm a vodka soda girl myself and I'd be confused/annoyed if I started with liquor and had to switch to something else. If I knew about it, I'd order a bunch and hoard them at my table. 

I'd just do beer and wine all night. Maybe do a signature drink if you want people to have the option of liquor but not the price tag of a full-on open bar.

delujm0

Will beer also be available during dinner?  Not everyone likes wine.  We were at a wdding like this recently, and FI and the other groomsmen wound up giulting the venue staff into getting them beer during dinner because they don't care for wine.  They weren't the only people annoyed by this.  Beer + Wine is generally not much more expensive than just wine (in fact, beer is cheaper than wine generally, so this may save you money).

 

also, two hours is definitely too long, especially if wine is the only available option.

Jen4948

I won't use the word "tacky" but I do agree that it's confusing for guests if the bar is only open some of the time.

I do think 2 hours for a 3 course dinner is too long.  An hour to 90 minutes sounds more reasonable to me.

climbingsingle

I agree about it being confusing. And not everyone likes wine. Is there anything else available during dinner?

I also agree that 2 hours for dinner is long. 

Arianapearls

Ya, going to switch dinner to 90 minutes for sure, the venue wanted us to do hours...I'm ADD, even I can't sit still for that long, lol. And yes, beer, wine and champagne at dinner.

PrettyGirlLost

Arianapearls said:

Is it tacky to have open bar at cocktail hour then close bar during dinner and offer only wine service then open the bar back up after dinner? 7-8 open bar 8-10 wine service w dinner 10-12 open bar And is 2 hours too long for 3 course dinner? Salad, entree, cake cutting....

Why do you need or want to close the bar during dinner?  Just leave it open, it will simplify things and it makes the most sense.

2 hours is probably too long for a three course meal.

kgd7357

I was wondering this too! We have the option of shutting down for 1 hour during dinner (beer and wine still available from servers) while they relocate the bar stations from the cocktail area to the ballroom. They would make an anoucement prior to closing, so people could grab a cocktail (or two...) for dinner before the move. They give this option b/c they have to move and re-set-up for about 15-20 minutes anyway, and you either get charged the full hour, or not at all. We haven't decided yet which way to go.

Would love to hear more thoughts!

Arianapearls

It's already a $40k reception, so it's a difference of $5k but after reading the responses, oh we'll! Open bar all night it is ))))) thank you all!

kgd7357

@Arianapearls

That is really close to how ours is! $2740/hour for the open bar after cocktail hour, with about the same reception budget. I think we are just going to suck up the dinner hour too. Just seems like such a waste though.

Arianapearls

@kgd7357 Ya, it's insane. We live in south beach so the cost of everything is at least double. And it's not like our venue is exactly accommodating so I hate throwing more money at them. What about this: 7-8pm wine and signature cocktails then open bar rest of the night?

JCbride2015

I still say, go with the least confusing option, which is to offer the same service all night long.  If you can "suck up" the $5,000 cost difference, I say you should do it.  But I couldn't just suck up that much money, so my personal choice in that situation would be to offer beer, wine, and signature drinks all night, or whatever options were in my budget.  @kgd7357, I think if the venue has to close and relocate the bar anyway, and they make an announcement to your guests, that's fine and not confusing.  Why pay for open bar when your guests wouldn't be able to use it anyway?

Jen4948

Arianapearls said:

@kgd7357 Ya, it's insane. We live in south beach so the cost of everything is at least double. And it's not like our venue is exactly accommodating so I hate throwing more money at them. What about this: 7-8pm wine and signature cocktails then open bar rest of the night?

No.  Throughout the night, the bar has to offer the same provisions-no change in what's available.  If that means that you can't have an open bar at all, then just offer what you can afford and let it go at that.  Anyone who complains that the bar is not offering what they want is being rude.

Maggie0829

We closed our bar for an hour during dinner. We had signs on the bar plus the bartenders reminded guests as the time got closer before it was shut down. We still served wine at the table.

I have been to a few weddings like this.  I would make sure to grab a drink before cocktail hour was closed to have during dinner.  Then during dinner I was too busy eating or getting food from the buffet to even look at the bar.  I had my preferred drink and water to sip on and that was more then enough to get me through an hour long dinner service.

Also 2 hours is a ridiculously long time for a 3 course meal.  I would say that 90 minutes max is all you need.

Arianapearls

@scribe95 Black tie, very upscale venu in Miami 7-8 cocktail hour 8-9:30- seated dinner 9:30-11:30/12- party time Update: I just spoke to the venue regrading open bar for dinner and they said they cannot do it. That it is not possible to service 140 ppl w drink orders and food. So I basically have to do wine or beer at dinner. And we can't just do wine all night, our friends are big time party peeps as are we so this is confusing. Grrrrrrrrr

Arianapearls

@scribe95 Black tie, very upscale venu in Miami 7-8 cocktail hour 8-9:30- seated dinner 9:30-11:30/12- party time Update: I just spoke to the venue regrading open bar for dinner and they said they cannot do it. That it is not possible to service 140 ppl w drink orders and food. So I basically have to do wine or beer at dinner. And we can't just do wine all night, our friends are big time party peeps as are we so this is confusing. Grrrrrrrrr

Arianapearls

Thank you so much! Yes, I think a sign and bartenders reminding guest is fine and switched the dinner to 90 minutes. Also I just spoke to the venue regrading open bar for dinner and they said they cannot do it. That it is not possible to service 140 ppl w drink orders and food. So I basically have to do wine and beer at dinner. And we can't just do wine all night, our friends are big time nightlife lovers,lol

PrettyGirlLost

Arianapearls said:

@scribe95 Black tie, very upscale venu in Miami 7-8 cocktail hour 8-9:30- seated dinner 9:30-11:30/12- party time Update: I just spoke to the venue regrading open bar for dinner and they said they cannot do it. That it is not possible to service 140 ppl w drink orders and food. So I basically have to do wine or beer at dinner. And we can't just do wine all night, our friends are big time party peeps as are we so this is confusing. Grrrrrrrrr

I'm just saying this to impart knowledge, I'm NOT saying this to be snarky or bitchy:

You are not having a black tie event. . . you can't be if you are only having a 3 course meal and you are going to close the bar during dinner.  It sounds like you are having a fancy reception, which is lovely, but black tie doesn't just mean that a reception looks fancy, it has set criteria:

• Event begins after 6pm
• High end, indoor venue
  
• Valet service provided by the Bride and Groom
• Gloved service
• Hand passed hor d'ourves
  
• Top shelf open bar with full wine list and preferably with a sommelier on site to assist with wine choices.
  
• Multi course gourmet level plated meal- generally 5 to 7 courses, and preferably with dual entrees or tableside ordering
• Real china, silver ware, glassware, linens, etc
• Multi piece live band and and a DJ or secondary performers for when the main entertainment takes breaks
• High end decor and custom lighting

s-aries8990

I think closing for an hour during dinner is totally ok. Every wedding I've been to that has an open bar is closed for an hour during dinner service (basically until a bit after the entree is served). As long as you put a little sign on the bar and ask bartenders to remind guests, you'll be fine.

Will there be water available? And pitchers on the table, or waitstaff replenishing?

Arianapearls

Well, pretty much everything you listed is happening minus the 5 to 7 course dinner because I live in south beach and eating isn't exactly a high priority for us beach bunnys and minus the band because we have a DJ from France spinning. Also, I just spoke to the venue and they don't recommend cocktail service with the wine selection.

Arianapearls

Yes, printing a sign etc...and waitstaff will be available with water etc.. If someone really wants a drink they can go to the bar, it's not like we are going to say no, lol. But I think one hour w wine, beer and signature cocktail is fine. You can't please everyone

PrettyGirlLost

Arianapearls said:

Well, pretty much everything you listed is happening minus the 5 to 7 course dinner because I live in south beach and eating isn't exactly a high priority for us beach bunnys and minus the band because we have a DJ from France spinning. Also, I just spoke to the venue and they don't recommend cocktail service with the wine selection.

It's still not black tie then.  Those criteria are not optional.

Sounds like you are having a fun, fancy reception though :-)

Arianapearls

So what aside from black tie optional terminology would you suggest? I don't want people dressing casual, I want upscale cocktail, but then tuxedos are too much??

tammym1001

I've never been to an event where they close the bar during dinner, but I do go to formal fundraising events all the time and I never get up during dinner to get a drink. I've noticed that most people don't and the bar is pretty empty. It just gets too confusing with everyone trying to eat and servers running around everywhere with trays to try and get up and navigate through that to get a drink. Most people get a drink or two right before dinner and then wait until after dinner to get another one.

So with all that being said, I really don't think having the bar closed for one hour during dinner is going to be a big deal to anyone. I would have signs up though so that people will have a warning that it won't be open during dinner.

PrettyGirlLost

Arianapearls said:

So what aside from black tie optional terminology would you suggest? I don't want people dressing casual, I want upscale cocktail, but then tuxedos are too much??

Please don't try and dictate a dress code to your guests anywhere- not on your wedding website, your invitations, no where. 

It comes across as rude to assume your guests don't know how to dress themselves- and honestly it does not impact you in the slightest if someone shows up under-dressed.

You use the formality of your invitations and word of mouth to express the formality of your reception.  In this case you are having a formal reception- there is no such thing as black tie optional.  It's a stupid, confusing term because it is always optional to dress that well ;-)  I know people in the wedding industry throw that term around and people will use it on the boards, have seen it used, will try and argue with me, blah blah.  BTO is a ridiculous term.

NYCBruin

Arianapearls said:

So what aside from black tie optional terminology would you suggest? I don't want people dressing casual, I want upscale cocktail, but then tuxedos are too much??

You can't politely tell people how to dress themselves.  

Use fancy/upscale invitations.  People will know from the venue, time of day and type of invitation that it is a dressier event.  

Arianapearls

Good points, thank you!

Arianapearls

We'll ya. My invitations are in gold metal scroll cases, and from the venue it's obvious. But on the website/invite don't I need to put black tie optional, cocktail attire???

PrettyGirlLost

Arianapearls said:

Good points, thank you!

Thanks for your good attitude!

Arianapearls said:

We'll ya. My invitations are in gold metal scroll cases, and from the venue it's obvious. But on the website/invite don't I need to put black tie optional, cocktail attire???

Ooh I want to see a pic!  Sounds gorgeous.

No, you don't need to list a suggested dress code.  You have to trust your guests to have common sense in how to dress appropriately after seeing pics of your venue and receiving your invitations.  And if people show up under dressed, again it doesn't impact you at all- it won't ruin your day, ruin your photos, make you ill, etc.  Your guests will feel under dressed and uncomfortable.  And some people just don't give a shit about their appearance and will wear whatever the hell they want, regardless of how you steer them.

The only time you list a dress code is if your venue has one that they enforce, like a country club requiring men to wear jackets and ties.

Arianapearls

I'm sorry, I just saw your last response, disregard my last comment.