Overheard on the scanner...

HisGirlFriday13

I work in news. 

Overheard on the scanner just now: "We're responding to reports of a man wandering around with his penis hanging out."

Y'all, I'm in Central PA. It's, like 26 degrees outside with a windchill that feels like it's in the teens. I'm assuming he's doing this for show, but it seems awfully cold (and stupid: cold = shrinkage) to be wandering around with your tallywhacker hanging out for all the world to see.

MrsDeRuyter87

HAHAHAHA oh geez I really needed that laugh at the end of my terrible shift today. Thank you!

JCbride2015

I hope all the cops and reporters are cracking up, too.

doeydo

Shrinkage Reminded me of Seinfeld

jdluvr06

Hahahahaha

CMGragain

I live in western Colorado.  We have a number of homeless people in our town.  The most famous one was known as Speedo Man.  He wore nothing but a speedo bathing suit and a pair of hiking boots.  It didn't matter how cold it was.  He was a local character.
We get a naked drunk walking down the street at least once every winter.  Talk about frostbite!  Thanks for the laugh of the day.

pumpkinsandturkeys

Still giggling at tallywhacker. Def needed a laugh after the day I had.

Now I'm trying to think of all of the humorous penis nicknames I know...

monkeysip

It's not nearly as cold in my region, but it was about 40-ish degrees and some guy started walking around in a busy part of town, stripping off his clothes, then butt naked walked over to a luxury car rental place (that rents BMWs and Lamborginis and stuff) and started smashing car windshields with the handle of his gun.  Just a naked guy with a gun.  He caused like half a mill in damage.  

You know, because, sometimes it's just one of those days.

chibiyui

*sigh* Oh, Central PA.

theninjapanda

Maybe he is on drugs?

firebabe6519

Very nice. Lol Definitely needed that laugh. :-)

lovesclimbing

That happens in my city every once in awhile.  Stupid drunk people.  I remember a guy yanking his tallywhacker (Iol) out in the middle of a grocery store where I grew up right in front of some young girls.  That was the talk of the town for a couple weeks.

pumpkinsandturkeys

lovesclimbing said:

That happens in my city every once in awhile.  Stupid drunk people.  I remember a guy yanking his tallywhacker (Iol) out in the middle of a grocery store where I grew up right in front of some young girls.  That was the talk of the town for a couple weeks.

Totally read this as "[...] where it grew up right in front of some young girls." I was like, ew -- a pervert AND a possible pedophile?? Whoops haha

tmclawchick

That's fantastic lol...

Chipmunk415

similar story, though not on the scanner....when I was a legal intern at the state prosecutors office while in school, i had a case come across my desk where the guy literally drove his truck THROUGH the gate of the county jail at 3 in the morning....said he was there to pick up a friend who'd been arrested for DUI the day prior....failed to notice he was so drunk he couldn't stand, though his drive without accident was impressive, and he saved the cops the trip out to get him.