dadzilla?

indianaalum

kjvaracalli said:

To clarify: I NEVER would B-list and invite additional ppl after the fact.  What I meant to write was that FI, myself and FI's family all made cuts to our lists to have a total of 220 invitees.  There were other ppl all of us would have liked to invite but the venue max is 220.  So we adjusted our invite list based on venue number. Each family could invite 110 guests (a lot!).   

In hindsight, I made a mistake trusting my dad to handle mailing out the invites.  I live 5 hrs away from where we're getting married, plus I work 60+hr weeks and am on call frequently.  I thought to help ease all that is on my plate, I could delegate my dad to mail out the invitations and receive response cards.  I am learning a tough lesson here.   Sadly, I feel I was lied to.   Yes, my family is the host, yes that gives them some additional say with how the event runs.  It does not give the host the right to lie.  I'm more hurt b/c I was outright lied to and he yells at me that I'm over-reacting and in the wrong.  They gave me their invite list so I could see # of invites to order.  He then added extra 20 people (most of these are "guests/+1s" of singles).   I was told verbally and over email total number of their guests.  He then added 20 ppl to that number without my knowledge.  Moreover, my mom is passive and won't stand up to my dad even if she thinks I'm right, and my sister/MOH who lives at home with my parents won't stick up with me either---it's his way or the highway (anyone who has an Italian dad here knows what I mean).  Technically since he is host, it is his worry how to treat guests right---and he/we were not going to be at a venue where guests  would sit in multiple rooms.  That will not happen.  The venue has space for 220+ but not in the room we reserved.   I'm mostly just hurt because I feel like I can't trust him and we were very close (I'm not real close with my mom).  It certainly makes me look at him differently.   I'm also concerned that guests will be uncomfy.  My dad keeps assuming that 100% acceptance is never going to happen and yells at me that 100% won't happen (I would be THRILLED if this were the case).  He balks when I state you don't know until guests reply and tells me I'm over reacting and being bridezilla and ungrateful.  I'm not ungrateful.   It's just been emotionally exhausting being 33 years old and yelled at all the time since June when FI and I got engaged and feeling like there's no one in my family I can talk to.   Sorry for the message board diarrhea on here....

so he didn't necessarily invite extra guests as much as he included + 1's for the people he Did invite? So perhaps he didn't view it as lying as much as just being kind to the single people. 

you should never OVER invite, I agree. HOWEVER, you might luck out since it sounds like alot of these people are "ghost" people. chances are not every single person will choose to bring a date. Realistically speaking you will probably luck out knowing this info. Good Luck