First attempt at dress-shopping concerns

wandajune6

My mom, sister and I are all heading out Saturday to begin looking for wedding dresses. I have appointments scheduled at David's Bridal and House of Brides.

I'm plus size and tend to like bridesmaids dresses more than wedding gowns (I'm naturally pretty casual). I'm also on a fairly tight budget - though I've got wiggle room if needed. I know this makes me a less-than-ideal customer so I am a bit concerned that my desire to look at less expensive products (and my size) will lead to worse service. I've never gone to a wedding shop before but know that other shops can be jerky when they see a big girl with a small budget.

Does anyone have any recommendations on how to approach this with whoever is helping?  Also, any recommendations for what to bring/prepare? I'm assuming I'll pull out the strapless bra and spanx, grab a pair of heels, and make sure to shave. Beyond that, is there anything else that I should do?

Thanks!

JennyColada

While I cannot speak for your specific sales people, I have been in retail for nearly a decade, so I can speak for general sales person experience:

It's not all about the money and it's not all about having the "easy" customer. Honestly, if you have a good attitude and get a non-bitter salesgirl then you'll have a blast, regardless of your size or budget. Some of my FAVORITE customers are the ones who have an awkward size and are looking for good deals. Why? Because I have a good time!

I work at my job because of the PEOPLE, not because of the money or the product.

But really, you are not the first plus size bride or the first bride on a budget or even BOTH. There have been tons of women in your shoes, probably even a dozen this month alone!

So take a breath, calm down, and have fun. Because it's all about the memories and the experience. Not about the venue or the dress or the flowers. It's about love and about spending time with people who you love and who love you back.

Well, now that THAT public service announcement is out of the way: don't be afraid to try on things that are outside of your "fantasy". A lot of people lock themselves in to styles or shapes when they could be missing out on THE DRESS just because it's not the exact specification. So don't be afraid to trust the judgement of the salesgirl (after all, she sees brides in many more dresses than you do!). So just keep an open mind. Also cameras! Take pictures of everything: every dress, every detail, because it all gets blurry in your mind!

Maggie0829

I agree with Jenny.  It really depends on your sales person and has nothing to do with your size or budget.  I went to DB to start out my search and my sales person was horrible.  She hated the fact that I came with a list of dresses that I wanted to try, she then shoved me into a dressing room and said she would be back in 10 minutes so my sister had to help me get dressed.  After about 30 minutes of her we complained to a manager and they gave me someone else who was very friendly and helpful.

As far as what to bring, besides what you wrote, bring a hair tie, bottle of water and maybe a snack to eat in between appointments.  Also, don't forget a camera.  Oh and an open mind

hikebikebemerry

I would say walk in feeling confident about yourself; you are beautiful and someone loves you so much that they want to devote the rest of their lives to you.  Don't go in trying to somehow apologize for your size and budget; I know some people in retail try to capitalize on people's insecurities.  I might pick out a couple of styles in your price range/ style preference to try on first, if you feel that you are developing a good relationship with the associate working with you, ask them to find some styles within your price range.  My consultant pulled my dress, and although my family was pulling dresses that were slightly (very) over budget; she found something that look amazing, felt amazing, and stayed within budget.

In the event that you do feel like you are getting poor customer service because of your size/ price point- I would say to not do business with that store.  There are so many different places to get dresses, the place that you choose to spend your money shouldn't be rude to you.  

Also, don't wear anything that you wouldn't want a stranger seeing you in, and by this- I mean full coverage undies.  If you have a long line bra, that's great- when my sister was wedding dress shopping, they kept trying to talk her into a dress she was on the fence about by telling her how it would look totally different with a long line bra.  For me, the long line bra actually made some of the dresses look worse, so for me, a strapless would have been fine.

Hope some of my rambling helps!  Have a blast!!!

hlpopper

I agree with everyone thus far who has said it's all about the consultant you have, but you also need to remain confident, steadfast to you budget and not let them push you around. If you get wishy washy and give in just a little, that makes them jump in and push a little more. Maintain a good attitude and smile and make sure that the sales person feels appreciated. If you can't kill them with kindness, you can always get a new sales person, although when I went to DB multiple times before finding the perfect dress, I never had a sales person who was anything less than amazing. And I had a different person each time I went.

Make sure you have an open mind, you might find something that is blah on the hanger but is a total knock out when you try it on. You want to make sure that you have supportive people with you, whomever you are bringing with you, and a camera so you can look back and see which dress you like the most because after a while, they do tend to look the same. Or at least they did for me. You'll want to make sure you don't wear a black bra that shows in every dress (I made that mistake), and bring stuff that will help keep you cool, cause it does tend to get hot while trying on the dresses. Also if you have any accessories you know you are going to wear, you should bring them with you.

Do not, I repeat: DO NOT! Pick a dress just because everyone else likes it. If you don't feel that spark of "This is it" then you should never buy the dress. You want to feel radiant, comfortable and above all else like you're on top of the world. You'll know when you find "The" dress. Don't let anyone tell you that it's not. It's your day, it's your dress and you will look the most beautiful in a dress that you love and feel perfect in.

hlpopper

QueerFemme

wandajune6 said:

My mom, sister and I are all heading out Saturday to begin looking for wedding dresses. I have appointments scheduled at David's Bridal and House of Brides.

I'm plus size and tend to like bridesmaids dresses more than wedding gowns (I'm naturally pretty casual). I'm also on a fairly tight budget - though I've got wiggle room if needed. I know this makes me a less-than-ideal customer so I am a bit concerned that my desire to look at less expensive products (and my size) will lead to worse service. I've never gone to a wedding shop before but know that other shops can be jerky when they see a big girl with a small budget.

Does anyone have any recommendations on how to approach this with whoever is helping?  Also, any recommendations for what to bring/prepare? I'm assuming I'll pull out the strapless bra and spanx, grab a pair of heels, and make sure to shave. Beyond that, is there anything else that I should do?

Thanks!

Davids Bridal has dresses in a lot of sizes and they see a LOT of different budgets. Of course, they'd like to sell you a more expensive dress, but they have people come in for dresses in the $200.00 range.   So, you'll probably have pretty good luck there.  Don't stress.

wandajune6

Thank you all! I really needed to hear that!

I've seen dresses I like but have no idea what will look good on me. I just want to have fun with this and see what happens. My big fear was that there will be nothing for me to try on - or that they won't want to help when I start looking at bridesmaid dresses. My instinct isn't to be apologetic but I worry that it will prove a letdown or, worse yet, a chore.

You've made me feel so much better. Thanks!