I'm freaking out!

Blergbot

So I just got quoted $83/pp from a potential caterer--they're supposed to be reasonably priced. I AM getting married in Santa Barbara, so I know everything is going to be more expensive, but my TK budgeter says we need to stick around $60/pp. Do I ask the caterer to try and revise the menu to cut out $2K? I haven't even booked them yet and I don't want to scare them off. We already splurged on our photographer...Help!

pumpkinsandturkeys

Is that including bar? If so, I'd say that's definitely reasonable. However, you do have to be respectful of budget -- a few overages can leave you way beyond where you want to be!

Blergbot

It includes bar set-up and non-alcoholic beverages. We are providing our own alcohol, so that isn't included in the pp price.

Blergbot

Oh, and did I mention that this does not include rentals? Thus, the freaking out!

HisGirlFriday13

I didn't use TK's budgeting tool, so I don't know if these are stupid suggestions, but how does it break the cost?

Is it telling you $60/pp TOTAL or $60/pp for food, and rentals/bar/linens/etc. are a separate category?

JCbride2015

I don't think that's totally crazy, but if it's over your budget, then yeah it's too much.  Does seem a little high especially without the bar and rentals-- so this is just for food?

Maybe see if you can work with them to cut costs a bit.  Maybe they can downgrade an entree or leave out some hors d'oevres or something.

Blergbot

Rentals are separate, but we're getting married in FSIL's backyard (which you would think would be cheaper, but NO!) and instead of a site fee FI is giving her $2,500 toward landscaping they want to do. The rentals are included with the site fee on TK budgeter, which we've already gone over. Bar is a separate line in the budget and it's telling us to budget for $16/pp.

pumpkinsandturkeys

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I didn't use TK's budgeting tool, so I don't know if these are stupid suggestions, but how does it break the cost?

Is it telling you $60/pp TOTAL or $60/pp for food, and rentals/bar/linens/etc. are a separate category?

I think I looked at it once and it has one line for reception and another for catering, if I remember correctly. I'm assuming her catering is saying $60pp?

HisGirlFriday13

Blergbot said:

Rentals are separate, but we're getting married in FSIL's backyard (which you would think would be cheaper, but NO!) and instead of a site fee FI is giving her $2,500 toward landscaping they want to do. The rentals are included with the site fee on TK budgeter, which we've already gone over. Bar is a separate line in the budget and it's telling us to budget for $16/pp.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHAT?? He's giving her $2,500 in lieu of a site fee? I realise she's family and all, and that's great, but please realise -- you're planning on shelling out $2.5K and getting essentially nothing OTHER THAN the venue in return.

Most venues will have rental fees that are waived, lowered, or included in your catering costs -- one venue we looked at had a $500 venue use fee, but that went toward the minimum we would have to spend to use it. 

You are, essentially, throwing away $2,500. Yeah, you're getting a venue, but you're not getting anything else -- if you looked, you could get a lot more bang for that buck, including more catering or finding a venue that includes what you need.

Blergbot

Ok, to be fair, the other venue we were looking at was a $5k site fee, not including rentals. FI doesn't mind giving his sister the money--in fact, he insisted on it, otherwise he would have felt weird about using their yard--and they didn't ask for the money, he offered it. He feels comfortable giving them the money because "it's staying within the family." Ugh, I just want to elope now...

Blergbot

Ok, so feeling better after talking it over with FI and e-mailing the caterer about working within our budget. I'm DIYing our invites, keeping flowers/decorations to a minimum and my dress only cost $200. If need be I can renegotiate my photography package. I guess it's not essential that I have a 2nd photographer...

emmyg65

The Knot budgeter is a good guideline, but you can spend more money in one area and less in another if your priorities are different. For example, we spent a ton on a photographer, and comparatively little on catering. 

I had a backyard wedding too, and it was great because it enabled us to look at nontraditional caterers. We ended up having a pig roast for about $20pp. I know Santa Barbara is pricey, but I'm sure you can find cheaper catering than that quote you got.

Also, it's insane to give your FSIL $2500 "for landscaping." A large part of why we chose a backyard wedding is that the venue was free. We did send my in-laws a generous restaurant gift card after the wedding to say thank you, but that's it.