Best Friend help?!

cmh0801

My fiancé and I have been together 7 years, so when we finally got engaged, everyone was pretty excited! One of my friends has been with her boyfriend not quite a year but LOVES weddings so I have been inviting her to many of my events and to help me with things. But I am starting to feel like she is trying to steal my spotlight by talking about her future wedding (even though she is not engaged!) and signing up for things as if she is the bride. Now I am not one of those people who want it to be all about me, but I also feel like this is my time and when her time comes I will make it all about her! But how do I handle it in the mean time? Do I say something or just let it go? I don't want her to be upset, but I also don't want to be the bride in the background.

JCbride2015

cmh0801 said: My fiancé and I have been together 7 years, so when we finally got engaged, everyone was pretty excited! One of my friends has been with her boyfriend not quite a year but LOVES weddings so I have been inviting her to many of my events and to help me with things. But I am starting to feel like she is trying to steal my spotlight by talking about her future wedding (even though she is not engaged!) and signing up for things as if she is the bride. Now I am not one of those people who want it to be all about me, but I also feel like this is my time and when her time comes I will make it all about her! But how do I handle it in the mean time? Do I say something or just let it go? I don't want her to be upset, but I also don't want to be the bride in the background.

Bolded: you sound like you do want it to be all about you.

Yeah, her signing up for wedding things is a little weird.  But there is absolutely no way to talk to her about this without coming across as a huge bridezilla.

Just stop talking about your wedding and don't invite her to wedding stuff.

The red quote: you should never ask anyone besides your Fi to help you with wedding things.  Ever.  If she offers, you may accept.  But it sounds like if she has weddings on the brain and is annoying you, I would just say no.

ETA: stupid quote box.

manateehugger

cmh0801 said:

My fiancé and I have been together 7 years, so when we finally got engaged, everyone was pretty excited! One of my friends has been with her boyfriend not quite a year but LOVES weddings so I have been inviting her to many of my events and to help me with things. But I am starting to feel like she is trying to steal my spotlight by talking about her future wedding (even though she is not engaged!) and signing up for things as if she is the bride. Now I am not one of those people who want it to be all about me, but I also feel like this is my time and when her time comes I will make it all about her! But how do I handle it in the mean time? Do I say something or just let it go? I don't want her to be upset, but I also don't want to be the bride in the background.

Look, as someone who has been the unengaged friend of the bride a number of times, RELAX and let it go. It's hard to not be excited and chat about weddings (fictional future or just future) when that's what occupying your best friends(s). You're telling me you've never had a conversation with someone about what your wedding would be like before you were engaged. 

Talking about her future wedding and signing up for random crap is not stealing the limelight from you. How can it? You're the one getting married. You get a day, not a season. 

 I don't think you can bring this up without sounding like a bridezilla. What would you say, "Hey, I need you to stop talking about your future wedding because I'M the one actually getting married, not you" or "Well, I don't care what you would want at your wedding, why aren't you focusing on me?" 

Just stop talking about your wedding with her if it bothers you that badly. 

MrsDeRuyter87

Is she overzealous? Yes. Can you do anything about it because it's taking away from you? No. Women in general get excited about this kind of stuff. Maybe she is acting like this because she found someone who is "different" from the others and maybe she can in fact see herself marrying him. You probably had the same feelings before you could call your FI your FI. Time for you to gain a voice and be the one to not let yourself get "lost" in the background. You can't say anothing to her but you can use your voice to make sure that you also are being noticed.

MyNameIsNot

She's acting a little nutty, but there's nothing you can do without coming off like you want everything to be all about you all the time.  My SIL was like that when we went dress shopping.  It's eye roll worthy, but that's all it is.  

If it really bothers you that much, stop accepting her help with wedding planning.  

AddieCake

Agree to just stop talking wedding and including her in all this wedding stuff all the time.