Chit Chat

Too many showers?

MollyandDMollyandD member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
edited January 2014 in Chit Chat
A girl I know has a lot of friends, apparently. She had several showers thrown by different groups of people. Her work friends had one, her family threw one, and at least two friends threw one. It's great for her, but she invited the same people to the showers. I'm not that close to her, so I was invited to one bridal shower and one "couples shower." My friend who knows her better was invited to those, plus another bridal shower, and to her lingerie shower. Oh, and there was a bachelorette party that also asked for lingerie for the bride.

I'm glad this bride got so many gifts, but is that a bit much? My friend and I thought it was excessive to expect the same people to bring a gift to all those plus the wedding.

Re: Too many showers?

  • Yes, it is not polite to invite most guests to more than one shower.

    It is common for immediate family (mom/sisters/grandma) and the WP to be invited to all of pre-wedding events, but they should not feel obligated to bring a gift to each event. They are more like honored guests and invited out of respect and so the other guests can meet/see them - not to suck more gifts out of them.

    I think it's tacky to turn the bachelorette party into a shower if that's what the lingerie one was.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • A girl I know has a lot of friends, apparently. She had several showers thrown by different groups of people. Her work friends had one, her family threw one, and at least two friends threw one. It's great for her, but she invited the same people to the showers. I'm not that close to her, so I was invited to one bridal shower and one "couples shower." My friend who knows her better was invited to those, plus another bridal shower, and to her lingerie shower. Oh, and there was a bachelorette party that also asked for lingerie for the bride. I'm glad this bride got so many gifts, but is that a bit much? My friend and I thought it was excessive to expect the same people to bring a gift to all those plus the wedding.
    Multiple showers are fine.  But the guests lists should never overlap with the exception of immediate family and WP members.  But even if immediate family and WP members are invited to any or all of them.  They are not required to attend though.
  • Way too much. Any more than one shower is too many, IMHO, unless they have different guest lists.
  • Overlapping guests at showers should be limited to MOB, BMs, and possibly MOG.

    My mother was at both of my showers. My SIL, who was a BM and is also one of my BFFs, was invited to both but could only attend one.

    To invite the same set of people ro multiple showers seems gift-grabby.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • This seems gift grabby to me. WP and close family are understandable... But that sure is a lot of showers / parties to overlap guests on.
  • That is absurd. If her work friends are throwing her a shower then I'd either recommend to the host that non-work friends are invited (to keep the number of showers down) to recommend that ONLY work friends are invited (to ensure a limited amount of double-invites). I mean, if she doesn't know enough people to invite to all of the showers then I don't see why she'd accept so many. That's super gift grabby.
  • Yeah, that seems weird to me. I am having 3 showers, which already seems a little silly to me, but there will be absolutely no overlap besides my mother, and they will be in 3 different states. One is being hosted by my best friend for my work friends and a few other local friends, one is being hosted by my sister back in my home state for my family and a few family friends, and a very small one is being hosted by FMIL in his home state for his family. His mom was really excited about doing this, so I accepted. If they were not hundreds of miles from each other, we would have definitely combined them!
  • It's rude to invite people (except WP & immediate family) to multiple showers.  

    I have known people who have had 3-4 showers because of location issues, but they were all different guest lists.  I would be put off to be invited to multiple showers, especially for someone who I wasn't close to.  If I were you, I'd decline at least one, probably both.  I wouldn't go to a shower for someone I called "a girl I know" not "friend."  
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