Last week I told Fi I had ordered some fun lingerie for V-day/ our anniversary. It came the other day and didn't fit, so I'm exchanging it through the mail-- nbd. We had this conversation just now:
Fi: Are you gonna put some moves on me tonight? I heard there were some pretty things in the house that I haven't seen yet.
Me: Oh, they didn't fit and I'm exchanging them.
Fi: Your boobies were too big, huh?
Me: No, the panties were actually too small.
Fi: Ah, it's because your ass is so firm.
Said with no hesitation whatsoever. I love this man.
"I'm not a rude bitch. I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."