So the mania has finally begun

pinkcow13

My mom called me a little while ago, and as we were chatting she told me that FMIL called her to go over our engagement party details, which she is hosting (I already knew she had called). Well, apparently she told my mom where our venue was, and how we were spending sooooo much money on it. Now, I only share wedding details if asked, and even then I share minimal details. My parents didn't seem that interested in the wedding (Maybe because it is over a year away), and had not asked any questions, so I didn't share details with them. FMIL knew because she asked FI and myself. She also knows how much we are paying thanks to FI's big mouth. 

 So my mom is all "That place is so expensive, that's like a 60K wedding!" Now, I know I should have bean dipped her, but I always have to prove my point with her. I told her that the wedding is nowhere near that price. It really isn't. I did my research. So she starts telling me how we should have looked at other places - I told her we looked at about 20 places, not to mention places I received information on that we did not go see. So then she starts suggesting places in Yonkers, or upstate NY. I told her I already researched this, and we wanted a wedding in NYC . Plus, the place is booked!!! So then she starts asking me about my dress, and how much I want to spend on it, because I should have a designer custom make it. Then asked if I was going to enter in a limo, because I should get a horse drawn carriage, and she knows someone upstate NY that does that, and may have a hookup here in the city. Sigh. THEN she asks about the post wedding dress, because I can't board the plane in my wedding dress after the wedding. And starts suggesting colors. Oh lord. 

On the other hand, I have FMIL emailing us all day at work about stuff. She sent us a wedding checklist yesterday - I told her I use the checklist on TK. She said I should compare both to see which is better. >_< So I think my mom was all crazy about the wedding because FMIL called her blabbing about details she knew that my mom didn't. FMIL has asked us a few times different wedding details, and what our venue offers, etc, and I personally do not divulge that info, I like keeping finances private. I'm not going to tell him she called my mom to bitch about the price, because 1. My mom didn't want me to tell her since she didn't want to seem like she was gossiping and 2. IDK how the convo went obv, so I'm not going to start any rumors myself. I guess I just needed to vent, because I knew it was only a matter of time before people started driving us crazy lol.

Edit: Paragraphs disappeared

WildMagelet

Ugh, that sucks.  If she calls your mom again I would call her out on it.  Try and get your FI on the same page as far as bean-dipping though, it will help tons.

HisGirlFriday13

Ugh, I'm so sorry.

Can you talk to your FI about having him tell his mother to STFU? Because honestly, it's none of her business, and if she's just going to use what little information you give her to gossip about it, it's really better that she knows nothing at all.

pinkcow13

flutterbride2b - Yea, I think I will def have to call her out on it if she does it again. And I need to teach FI bean dipping skills.

HisGirlFriday13 - Seriously! When he first told her how much we were spending, he told me she was all "You can spend that money on a down payment on a house!" I told him I don't like telling anyone how much we are spending, nor do I like unsolicited advice. It really is none of her business!!!! I can bean dip his mom, but I am going to have to tell him to do the same, because this is just going to get really annoying.

RWS2011

Sorry you are having to deal with this!  It really is nobody's business, if you are paying for the wedding on your own, how much you choose to spend.  This might be a bit of jockeying for attention/involvement between your mom and FMIL.  Good luck with however you plan to handle the situation.  

pinkcow13

RWS2011 - Exactly! No one is contributing a dime to our wedding, nor are we expecting or asking anyone to, so IDK why all the opinions? It's our money to spend how we want! Funny, I was thinking the same thing about them jockeying for attention. When FI and I got engaged, we had a celebratory dinner with my parents and his mom. We took a cab and I saw between the mom's My mom started playing with my hair, and then his mom immediately started doing the same. At the restaurant, they were both like competing for my attention. It was so bizarre. We are both only children, sooo I think that has a lot to do with it. We'll see how it goes from here on out....

hikebikebemerry

@pinkcow13- If she's thinking that the Hudson Valley (not actually upstate... but then again, I don't count anything as "upstate" unless it's north of Albany, at least.. sorry, I can't help myself!) is going to be *that* much cheaper, she's off her rocker. The Hudson Valley, CT, the Berkshires, etc. are all still quite pricey because people travel there FROM the city to have a garden/country/rustic/mountain wedding.

 I got a little bit of grief for my venue at first; they'll get over it and be pretending that it was their idea in no time! Until then.. have a margarita, and make it a double!

Edited because I was all "I want two paragraphs!" and my computer was all "LOL NO!"

pinkcow13

@hikebikebemerry - Exactly!!!! My friend is having her wedding near New Paltz, and they are paying nearly twice as much as we are! People think that because it is NYC you are automatically paying like 70K or something. I told my mom about the travel factor btw - and she said that she makes the 2 hour trip to the city on the same day, and our guests should be able to as well. SMH. I think I will have a margarita - it is tequila tuesday, after all! LOL at your edit - same thing happened to me with the paragraphs haha! Edit: Clearly my computer no longer likes paragraphs....