Numbers numbers numbers

thisismynickname2

My head is spinning today.

Disclaimer: We will not B-list any guest in the sense of, "Oh, it's 3 weeks out and 10 people declined so let's send 10 more invites off the B-list."  That's abhorrent.

We do, however, have a "must have" list and a "really want" list.  The "must have" list was sent Save the Dates. 

Our spreadsheet of guests also has two columns for "reserved seats" and "anticipated seats". For example, my perpetually single friends have two reserved seats but expected as one seat. 

That gives us two totals to work with: our Reserved Seats list which tops out at 93 right now, and our Anticipated Seats list which is currently at 80.

We are planning with a budget of 80. The "must have" list is 60 and the "really want" list is 33.

AND...In order to meet the minimum spend at our venue, we need 75 seats with the most expensive food and bar options. 

So now I have this range, including service and tax, with "cheap" and "expensive" options, and all the various totals that would bring us to.

I told FI that we might as well just invite everyone, all 93, and if all 93 show up, be prepared to be over budget. Being over budget won't leave us in the poor house, it's just money we don't particularly want to spend.  But in the best case scenario, we invite 93 and say... 80-84 show up. That would stink from a table-planning standpoint but at the end of the day, no friends' feelings are hurt.

Whew!  Good thing I got a little raise for 2014 as I need to funnel even more money into savings now.

My head hurts. 

AND.... FI goes "Everyone who's ever planned a wedding has had a B-list. All my friends know it. Chill out." FACEPALM.

JaniV123

wow congrats on all that organizing and thinking! I am glad my FI hasn't mentioned anything like that and possibly not even thought about such a thing as B-listing. I would side eye him in a second!

HisGirlFriday13

Congrats! This is also how we did our list -- 'must haves' and 'would likes' and listed as #invited, #expected, etc. 

DH also thought a B-list was 'what people do' until I explained 'oh, hell no.'

I think you're right to invite all 93; you're not likely to get that (especially if you're not giving your truly single friends a plus-one, which is of course fine by etiquette standards), and if you can afford it, it's better to just pull the trigger than keep stressing about it.

csuave

That is some good planning!  Since you can afford it, you might as well invite all 93.  Then you won't have to choose which "would likes" get/do not get an invite.  If you get some declines you might end up right in that 75-80 range anway.

It sounds like you are planning on the top shelf bar?  If all 93 RSVP yes and then you wanted to lower the cost a very easy option might be to go with the mid grade bar.  Depending on the venue there might not be much of a difference.  Eliminating a course might be an option too such as cut the soup if the meal includes both soup and salad. 

The minimum can be a tricky thing.  We ended up coming in under our minimum because of declines which made us happy that we invited all of the "would likes" (knowing we could afford them if 100% attended).  To spend the minimum we ended up extending the reception an hour and adding some food upgrades.

MyNameIsNot

If you invite all 93 and more than 80 say yes, is it possible to downgrade your package some so that you avoid spending money you don't really want to spend?

For example, we invited 200 (including 80 international guests).  Our budget was comfortable at 125, but we could have accommodated 200 by going beer/wine, and making some other cuts.  Because of the international aspect, I knew it was a long shot, but we could do it if we had to.  We ended up with just around 100, so got to upgrade the bar at the last minute.

If you can manage to host all 93 if needed, I'd go ahead and invite them all.  You do have to be prepared, but actual 100% attendance is rare.  More likely, you'll end up with somewhere more like 85, so less of a stretch.  

thisismynickname2

Yes, we could downgrade a little bit on the bar. FI doesn't want to, but in my opinion we're only getting better wines with the top shelf.  My crowd isn't sophisticated enough to care about the difference between Greg Goose and Ketel, KWIM? (I don't remember exactly what's in the packages off the top of my head, but really, in cranberry juice it all tastes the same to me!) 

It would also bring down the cost for all 93 if we choose a different kind of steak. Although we can offer three options of food, we're priced on whatever is the most expensive.  

If we come in under the minimum spend, even with the top food and bar and add-ons for lobster bisque, we can get an extra dessert spread. I don't want to just hand them an extra $500-$1000 because not enough people showed up and we have to pay a minimum. 

Our guests are going to be stuffed and tipsey and it's going to be awesome!  

SBmini

When I made my list I included "in town" and "out of town" columns. I used this to help calculate estimated number of attendees. I have in town at a 90% RSVP rate and out of town at a 75% RSVP rate. Invitations go out this week, it will be really interesting to see how close to that estimate we end up!