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Bridesman/Groomsmen Gift

jenniferursjenniferurs member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
edited February 2014 in Wedding Party
So I know that anything intended to contribute to the wardrobe on the day of the wedding is typically not considered a gift, but I'm wondering about this instance...

Our guys bought suits for the wedding, instead of renting. We didn't want to have them buy matching ties and shirts on top of that, so we offered to pay for that ourselves. I, in no way, consider the tie to be a part of their gift, but I'm wondering if the shirt qualifies. I was originally going to get a cheap $30 shirt for each of them to wear, but they had complained about the quality of the shirt and the fact that they'd prefer a nicer quality shirt that they could wear not just on the day, but frequently thereafter. That being said, we ended up spending $92 on each shirt.

Since it's something they'll wear after the day and something they specifically requested, can it be considered a part of their gift? I also got them monogrammed cuff links (not for mandatory use on the day of) and monogrammed flasks, so it's not all they got. But I spent $140 on the bridesmaids, so I don't want the bridesmen/groomsmen to feel they got shafted. Not counting the tie, but counting the shirt, I would have spent the same on the guys.

Thoughts?
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Re: Bridesman/Groomsmen Gift

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    doeydodoeydo member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    No.  Anything to be used for the wedding is not a gift.
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    OBX2011OBX2011 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Agreed.  Anything towards the wedding is not considered a gift, even if it costs a hefty $92.  

     

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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Yeah, what if they don't really care for the shirt and won't wear it again? And do they all even wear cufflinks or use flasks? I would have skipped those.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    jenniferursjenniferurs member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    AddieL73 said:

    Yeah, what if they don't really care for the shirt and won't wear it again? And do they all even wear cufflinks or use flasks? I would have skipped those.

    They all love the shirt and will wear it again, which is why I asked. And yes, they all wear cuff links and use flasks.
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    Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited February 2014
    I think since they specifically requested a nicer shirt, that can be considered part of their gift. I don't know why you're giving them all monogrammed flasks and cufflinks, but that can all be considered a gift. Why is this not your FI's domain?

    Also, I wouldn't worry about the amount of money you spent on each group exactly matching up. Just that the quality of gifts is comparable. It's too late at this point, but it;'s usually advisable to give gifts based on the individual's tastes rather than trying to find something that everyone will like (typical "bridal party gift"). These type of gifts are generally not used after the wedding, and are a waste of your money.
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    jenniferursjenniferurs member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Blue_Bird said:

    I think since they specifically requested a nicer shirt, that can be considered part of their gift. I don't know why you're giving them all monogrammed flasks and cufflinks, but that can all be considered a gift. Why is this not your FI's domain?

    Also, I wouldn't worry about the amount of money you spent on each group exactly matching up. Just that the quality of gifts is comparable. It's too late at this point, but it;'s usually advisable to give gifts based on the individual's tastes rather than trying to find something that everyone will like (typical "bridal party gift"). These type of gifts are generally not used after the wedding, and are a waste of your money.

    Oh I know. I got my girls all different gifts for that reason. But the guys really do like the same things, so it just worked out that way. They all mentioned wanting cuff links and flasks in separate conversations I had with each of them.
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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    The gm were wrong to request a higher quality shirt, since you were paying. But still, it shouldn't be considered part of their gifts. Your fi's budget for his gm doesn't have to match your budget for the bms.
                       
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    jenniferursjenniferurs member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    MairePoppy said:
    The gm were wrong to request a higher quality shirt, since you were paying. But still, it shouldn't be considered part of their gifts. Your fi's budget for his gm doesn't have to match your budget for the bms.

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