Wedding Issues

Jwickwaee

So, I'm looking into a wedding band for my fiancé but every ring that I showed him he shot it down. He said that he wants a rubber ring. I have never heard of this before and think it's a little ridiculous. Is a rubber ring a thing now? I think he has it in his head that all rings will feel heavy to him and he said that he doesn't like rings. I know that they make rings made out of lightweight comfortable material but I'm having a hard time convincing him of that. Also, on a completely different rant my sister in law is no longer speaking to me. I did not make her a bridesmaid and instead of accepting the fact that she was not in the wedding she kept bringing it up and when I told her the reason is because she says some of the most inappropriate things and sometimes she says things that will either hurt my feelings or offend me and I just did not want to have to worry about her behavior or what she might say on the day of the wedding. I am a non-confrontation person and I often tend to let a lot of things slide especially from her so it took a lot for me to tell her the truth. When she married my brother I wasn't in their wedding and I never said a word about it. She also calls my friends derogatory names and when she found out that I out them in the wedding and not her she said and I quote "I can't believe she put those hoes in her wedding over me." She's also upset that no one else in my family said anything to me about not putting her in my wedding and she said that she wasn't going to any more family functions and that she was not going to my wedding. If your wondering how I know all of this it is because my cousin had a conversation with her since she is not talking to me. I've felt really bad about this for months and at times thought about Channing my mind and putting her in the wedding so she'll be happy and she won't be mad at me anymore. I was hoping to have a dram fee wedding but so far that isn't happening.

AprilH81

I think you and your FI should visit a few jewlry store and have him try on rings.  My H picked a thin (but wide) band that is very comfortable for him to wear.  Not all rings are thick and bulky and it will help him to try some on to see what he likes.

 

climbingsingle

Your FI is going to need to go to a jewelry store and try rings on. 

chibiyui

Yep. Jewelry store. He needs to try stuff on.

cupcait927

Another vote for the jewelry store. FI has never worn a piece of jewelry in his life so we've already been to one store for him to try on rings and will probably go a few more time. It's quite possible to get a thin, lightweight band made out of some type of metal.

Chipmunk415

Jewelry store. FI didn't care at first (aside from jokingly telling me he wanted a platinum band). But he eventually went to the store where we got my e-ring done and got sized- ended up picking out a ring for himself the same day. Once it was sized, he was reluctant to let it off his finger for a few hours.

jdluvr06

Another vote for jewelry store.

Jwickwaee

Thanks ladies!!! Jewelry store it is!

NavyBlue143

If he doesn't want a metal ring try a wooden one. Those are quite lovely. But he should at least try a few metal rings to see of he changes his mind. Ultimately though, the ring is his decision

erinlin25

Does your FI work in a industry where a metal may get in the way?  I only ask because my H is a mechanic and he was at first very hesitant about getting a ring and was not keen on the idea of having to wear it.  Many metals could potential hurt him if around certain equipment at work.  Friends of his mentioned a rubber ring that could be worn at work so he had something on.  He decided not to do that but thinks about it as an alternative if the ring gets in the way (still getting used to it).  Anyway, going to stores helped him realize what suited him best.  He did not want anything super expensive in case it did get damaged, so we went with a Tungsten ring after recommendations from other mechanics, etc.  It is light weight and he actually wears it regularly now. 

as for your SIL, she is crazy pants it seems and I would just call her bluff.  There is no law saying she had to be included in your wedding, that is totally up to you.  If she wants to act like a child and not speak to you, or say she is not coming to any family functions or your wedding then so be it,  Do not give in to her!!  She is the only person that will look end up looking bad, not you.  I would talk with my brother and tell him he needs to talk to SIL and calm her down.  You even said you were not in their wedding, so why would she get so butt hurt!?  Really!? You saved her money, lol. She should be grateful

Emmy1493

erinlin25 said:

Does your FI work in a industry where a metal may get in the way?  I only ask because my H is a mechanic and he was at first very hesitant about getting a ring and was not keen on the idea of having to wear it.  Many metals could potential hurt him if around certain equipment at work.  Friends of his mentioned a rubber ring that could be worn at work so he had something on.  He decided not to do that but thinks about it as an alternative if the ring gets in the way (still getting used to it).  Anyway, going to stores helped him realize what suited him best.  He did not want anything super expensive in case it did get damaged, so we went with a Tungsten ring after recommendations from other mechanics, etc.  It is light weight and he actually wears it regularly now. 

as for your SIL, she is crazy pants it seems and I would just call her bluff.  There is no law saying she had to be included in your wedding, that is totally up to you.  If she wants to act like a child and not speak to you, or say she is not coming to any family functions or your wedding then so be it,  Do not give in to her!!  She is the only person that will look end up looking bad, not you.  I would talk with my brother and tell him he needs to talk to SIL and calm her down.  You even said you were not in their wedding, so why would she get so butt hurt!?  Really!? You saved her money, lol. She should be grateful

About the jewelry, definitely have him try on different rings to see which he likes beter.

erinlin said above. If she doesn't come, she will look bad. DO NOT under any circumstances include her to feel good about it. Your WP consist of the ladies who are closest too you. She can cry in a corner all day long, but don't let it drag you down. Relax and try not to let it get to you too much.

AddieCake

Ugh. Sorry your SIL is being like this. And definitely have your fiance try on rings.

HisGirlFriday13

Ditto PPs about having your FI try on rings. DH thought he wanted a certain type of ring until we went and he tried them on, and then he found he really wanted something else entirely.

As for your FSIL, if you're hearing about this second-hand, just don't address it. If she doesn't have the balls to speak to your face, then she's not worth the time of responding. Just ignore her. 

artbyallie

The guy that was H's best man has a rubber ring because he nearly melted his gold one to his finger once while working on an engine. So if your fiancé does something hazardous, it may not be a bad choice. If he's just balking because he thinks ring=uncomfortable, he needs to try some and not be so whiny before he's ever had one on. Titanium may be a good choice if he's after lightweight. Also, have him try some comfort fit bands in different metals. Comfort fit has a convex inner surface rather than a flat one, and they tend to feel better.

JoyceDavid

Not all people are alike. As they are different, their choices are different too. We should respect each one's feelings. Let him get a rubber ring for himself if he is comfortable in that.

OliveOilsMom

Jwickwaee said:

So, I'm looking into a wedding band for my fiancé but every ring that I showed him he shot it down. He said that he wants a rubber ring. I have never heard of this before and think it's a little ridiculous. Is a rubber ring a thing now? I think he has it in his head that all rings will feel heavy to him and he said that he doesn't like rings. I know that they make rings made out of lightweight comfortable material but I'm having a hard time convincing him of that. Also, on a completely different rant my sister in law is no longer speaking to me. I did not make her a bridesmaid and instead of accepting the fact that she was not in the wedding she kept bringing it up and when I told her the reason is because she says some of the most inappropriate things and sometimes she says things that will either hurt my feelings or offend me and I just did not want to have to worry about her behavior or what she might say on the day of the wedding. I am a non-confrontation person and I often tend to let a lot of things slide especially from her so it took a lot for me to tell her the truth. When she married my brother I wasn't in their wedding and I never said a word about it. She also calls my friends derogatory names and when she found out that I out them in the wedding and not her she said and I quote "I can't believe she put those hoes in her wedding over me." She's also upset that no one else in my family said anything to me about not putting her in my wedding and she said that she wasn't going to any more family functions and that she was not going to my wedding. If your wondering how I know all of this it is because my cousin had a conversation with her since she is not talking to me. I've felt really bad about this for months and at times thought about Channing my mind and putting her in the wedding so she'll be happy and she won't be mad at me anymore. I was hoping to have a dram fee wedding but so far that isn't happening.

OP - did you really say the bolded?  If so, even if true, I can kinda understand why your SIL won't talk to you.  There were probably many more diplomatic ways to tell SIL why she wasn't in the wedding.  Like for example, you weren't in their wedding, so you figured she wouldn't be interested in being in yours.  Or a simple, I'm sorry your feelings are hurt, but I've already decided on my WP.  I do think your SIL has gone overboard with her reaction and I would just let her keep playing the silent treatment, eventually she will give it up.

Teddy917

Your Fi could put the ring on a lanyard instead. I saw a man that did that and it looked really nice.