Okay... one more etiquette question for the day

themuffinman16

My sister is having a baby and I wanted to host a baby sprinkle. Not a full meal, not during meal hours, just some dips, veggie trays, sandwiches, and, of course, cupcakes.  My apartment is not big enough.  Can I host the party at her house, where we would have enough room.  or does it seem like she is hosting the party, even if she does not lift a finger?  We cannot afford to have it at a venue with the wedding coming up and our budget being as tight as it is.  I know I don't have to have a small shower for her, but I want to.  Also... would PRIVATE facebook invitations be appropriate for a gathering of this nature and informality? Or would that be considered tacky?

grumbledore

Eh technically it's probably ok but I think it would look like she's hosting. Is anyone else willing to let you use their house?

themuffinman16

I am seeing about that, now.  Maybe my step-mom, but it is unlikely. She makes offers to do things, and never quite follows through. Nothing bad against her, but I think she would like to do things, and realizes the work involved and backs out.

sarahufl

I don't see the problem. I hosted a big ass baby shower for my sister at her house last year. I told her I would find an alternative venue but she liked the idea of doing it at home instead so we could stay as long as we wanted and not be pressured to spend a certain amount of money. It was in Miami in August, so outside was out of the question and I didn't want to burden her friends.

I told her I would even pay a housekeeper to come clean the day before so she didn't have to worry about it.

We had a great time, everyone loved it and my sister didn't have to lift a finger.

labro

Depending on the season you could also host it at a local park. When my FI and I were planning our RD we considered renting a park pavillion. Reserving it for the afternoon was something ridiculously cheap...like $10-25. I don't remember how much anymore but it was practically negligible. Others can be expensive though...I considered hosting my sister's wedding shower at a pavillion on a local lake and reserving the pavillion for the day would've cost $90. The major cons with renting a pavillion are probably weather issues and having to buy table covers and what not to "pretty" it up if you so choose.

themuffinman16

I hate not having a house to entertain!  Hopefully we will get a house, soon.  But my step-mom has offered to co-host, but I just don't think she likes the idea of smokers on her property. (Even if they pick up after themselves, because some smokers won't.)  I agree with that, but it's the price of hosting a party.  Even if  picked up all of the cigarettes that didn't make it into a jar, she would still hate having smokers on her property

themuffinman16

My sister has a really bad back, and I would want her to be able to sit somewhere comfortably.  The last venue I had her previous baby shower held, her back was out for 4 days from sitting in that uncomfortable chair.  So that's why I wanted to host it at a house, where she can sit on a couch. 

wrigleyville

Does she already have a baby? Second showers (or "sprinkles") are generally frowned upon, as she should have all of the baby basics. If relatives and friends want to buy her additional items, such as additional onesies, diapers, dresses if this is her first girl, etc, they will do so. When my SIL had her second daughter, many people sent gifts and gift cards.

themuffinman16

I am only inviting people that have asked her more than once when her baby shower was going to be. She didn't even want one, but many people were disappointed and told her they wanted her to have one. I will not send out invites to the masses

ei34

I'd generally balk at the idea of a shower being held at the guest of honor's house, and I'm definitely opposed to a second shower/sprinkle.  But I guess if the only people you're inviting have requested one, go for it?  Especially if she isn't registering a second time and it's more of a casual "congrats on baby #2" tea/luncheon.
An informal FB private message might be better than an invitation, because you could use that forum to mention that your sister has the room to host and you don't, which is why you're having it there.

AddieCake

The last baby shower I went to was at the mommy-to-be's house hosted by her best friend. I didn't give it a second thought. I don't like FB invitations.

themuffinman16

Yeah, I am not fond of facebook invitations, but I kind of wanted to give the idea of a very informal gathering.  But I can easily pick up some invites

themuffinman16

My sister is registering, but only people who ask will know that she is registered.  (That way, only people who truly want to get her a bigger gift can.) The only thing she needs is a double stroller and bedding and maybe some more bottles  Auntie Muffinman is getting the bedding, though!  I am so excited!

Jen4948

I think that you need to find some location other than her house, because it does have too much of an appearance of being self-hosted if you do it there.

singinchick13

Yea I'm not a huge fan of FB invites either. There are some really cute ones at WalMart that are very affordable. That being said, I'm glad you are only inviting people that have requested it because generally showers for non-first-time-moms are pretty faux pas. If your step-mom has offered to co-host maybe just accept the offer and do it at her house, but be prepared to do most of the work yourself. Also, I'm sure the smokers could just go down to the end of the driveway and not disrupt the property at all if she feels so strongly about it. These events tend to be around two hours in length so most people will only go out once or twice anyway.

erinlin25

I personally would not side eye it being at her house.  The invite will come from you and I am assuming  rsvp's would go to you so people will know you are the "host."  You will be the one hosting the guests at the party itself as well so the only way people would judge if preggo sis was pouring drinks and running the games

and yes, send out real invites.  Or at least do an "evite" instead of Facebook.  But you can find cheap /cute invites--even the dollar store has some that are not horrible looking.

and for 2nd showers,  I don't care as long as I am hosted well, it is a good reason to celebrate.  If they are different genders it is quite common.  We did a surprise shower for my friend-- it will be her 3rd boy, but we did not do one for baby #2 (they were a year apart) and now baby 3 is 4 years since that so it has been awhile since her first shower.  She made a small registry for some updates and it was mainly a "diaper" party.  All new moms needs diapers!