My true bachelorette days are numbered....

thisismynickname2

FI's condo hit the market today!

We both own 1-beds in the city, but mine is a little bigger so FI is moving in with me. I have lived alone for 8 years, since just after college, so having a roomie again will be very weird!

It's a little bittersweet for him because he loves his condo.  It's also weird, because there are some people that just can't wait to live with their loved one. We're... considering it just an order of business to get married. We're excited but also both acknowledging that we're probably going to go through a significant adjustment period. Maybe it would be different if either of us had a larger home.  We're going to be tripping over each other until his sells, then the wedding, then mine sells. We're looking at a year or so of living like sardines. 

We're going to have to make a morning routine schedule, and I'm going to have to clean out my closets of my embarrassingly ratty clothes.

If anyone has "been there, done that" suggestions, my ears (eyes) are open to them!  

emmyg65

My biggest tip for both of you is just to try to be flexible. Also, try to carve out space (or at least time) for just yourself.

pumpkinsandturkeys

I agree with Emmy. I also think it's important to have a physical space that's your own -- even if it's just a small corner or bookshelf. It's nice to know that you have an area that's all yours and isn't shared or encroached upon, because you will be sharing so much.

AddieCake

Try not to get hung up "that doesn't go there" kind of stuff. I don't think my husband ever felt like my apartment he moved into was ours. He always saw it as mine, and I'm sure it was because I wanted things the way I had always had them.

beharrington

AddieL73 said:

Try not to get hung up "that doesn't go there" kind of stuff. I don't think my husband ever felt like my apartment he moved into was ours. He always saw it as mine, and I'm sure it was because I wanted things the way I had always had them.

Agree with Addie.  My H moved into my rental townhouse a year after I moved in.  I had filled it completely already and it was mine.  Most of his stuff stayed in boxes in the living room for months.  Now that we're in a new house (yay for being homeowners), it's actually OUR place.  It's also nice because it has space for all of our stuff.

MollyandD

AddieL73 said:

Try not to get hung up "that doesn't go there" kind of stuff. I don't think my husband ever felt like my apartment he moved into was ours. He always saw it as mine, and I'm sure it was because I wanted things the way I had always had them.

I think my boyfriend felt that way. He moved in my teeny tiny 1 bedroom apartment (I refused to pay to rent a bigger place) about a year and a half ago. When I bought my house, this time last year, we moved in together and I think that helped him feel like it was ours, not mine. My name is on all the paperwork, but we consider it our home. It's so great to have a three bedroom house after living in such a cramped space.

pumpkinsandturkeys

AddieL73 said:

Try not to get hung up "that doesn't go there" kind of stuff. I don't think my husband ever felt like my apartment he moved into was ours. He always saw it as mine, and I'm sure it was because I wanted things the way I had always had them.

This. I had a difficult time transitioning into FI's house because he was very set in his ways and so used to being a bachelor. Once he let me start making some decorating changes and stopped resisting, it finally started to feel like 'ours', instead of me just tiptoeing around his place.

JennyColada

I went through the same thing @pumpkinsandturkeys.

Both Fi and I enjoy cooking, but he has the resources (read:money) to buy "nice" equipment, so when I moved in we sorted out a "donate/trash" pile of duplicate housewares, and it was basically all my stuff! I had a little breakdown ("it feels like you don't want 'ME' here!") but, he pointed out that lots of my stuff (wall decorations, my Al Clad pan that he now uses daily) are things that he is happy to have.

I HATE his taste in living room furniture/decorations though, but having stuff that's actually "mine" around the house in a place that it really belongs makes the house feel like my home too.

thisismynickname2

Good info ladies . When FI is able to get his furniture into my place, there will be decent blend of our stuff, I think. I will definitely have to be flexible about where stuff goes! I already had a, "You're done with the hairdryer? Soooo you're putting it away, right?" moment.

firebabe6519

Been there, except FI and I both were in studio apartments when we consolidated to one place. Its tough to find housing where we are. (FI's very handy and built a little partition wall so we had the bedroom in that alcove separate from the kitchen / living room.)

My advice is to make sure you have some alone time / you time for both of you. Don't be too picky about the whole where stuff goes thing. You learn to compromise and make changes to accommodate each other.

As far as trimming down on all the accumulated ratty clothes / junk / whatnot, just take it one step at a time. Give yourself a tangible goal for the day and make it happen. (ie This weekend go through the closet and donate / get rid of stuff you don't / can't wear anymore.) All at once it can be overwhelming and feel like you are giving your life away, but in small pieces it is way more manageable!

sarahufl

We are moving in together after the wedding and I am kind of freaked out. Luckily both of us have a bunch of random Ikea furniture that we aren't super attached to, so the plan is to buy new stuff. I am concerned about my happy level of cleanliness not matching his...