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Kind of Bummed, but Kind of Not...

So FI and I were at his BMan apartment over the weekend, just hanging out.  They were discussing FIs bachelor party since their original plan fell through.  Then BMan asked me what I was doing for my bachelorette party and I responded I don't think anything is going on because I haven't heard anything and no one approached me with ideas. Well BMan was so upset that he offered to plan one for me.  He was honestly more upset than I was/am.

Apart of me is a little bummed now that it appears I'm not having a bachelorette party, but I feel like I shouldn't have to plan this.  I feel like if my friends wanted to do something they would.  I know money is tight for my girlfriends right now, bridal party included.  My sister, who is my MOH could care less about it and told me that if anyone did plan something she wouldn't be attending, which is fine, my sister is very socially awkward.  My other BM hasn't mentioned anything, but again I know money is tight, though a few of us girls are getting together for her birthday this coming Saturday.

I guess I never really thought about it until BMan brought it up.

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Re: Kind of Bummed, but Kind of Not...

  • Sorry you are disappointed.  Bachelorette parties are not an old tradition.  They didn't exist when I was a bride in 1976. 
    My daughter went to a drag queen male strip club for her bach.  She is 6' tall, and most of the men thought she was one of them.  They were very friendly when she told them that she was a "real girl".  No planning was needed for that night!
  • I guess I hadn't really given it much thought until FIs BMan brought it up and how upset he was. And then of course the more I thought about it, the more I was like "oh, yea, this does kind of suck."

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  • Don't worry about it! You don't need a bachelorette party- I totally get it might be fun to have one, but a night in with the girls and a bottle of wine is always great (for any reason!). I do have to disagree with CMG though! At least in my family, women have had bachelorette parties before their wedding going back to the 60's (and maybe before, not sure). Why not just head to a bar for a couple of drinks, or if things are really tight, just grab a bottle of wine and head to a girlfriends? I'm not suggesting planning your own bachelorette party, but there's nothing wrong with just planning a casual get together with your friends if you are feeling like you need some girl time! :)
  • That was very similar to mine. None of my friends had mentioned a bachelorette to me. The groomsmen started planning DH's bachelor party. They happened to ask me when my party was, so they could schedule his party for the same night. I just casually mentioned that I hadn't heard anything about a party for me. Within a few days, a groomsman's wife (a good friend of mine, but not in the wedding party) approached me about planning a party. Then her and some other non-wedding party friends planned my party. It ended up being a great night in and worked out.

    I had thought that due to picking a wedding party where none of them knew each other and all lived in different cities, I wouldn't get a party. I was really excited when one fell into place. Moral of the story: it's ok to be sad that you might not get a party, but maybe it'll work out in the end and someone you're not expecting will put it together.
  • My sister finished my BIL's bach party with his friends 8 years ago. The boys started the day early and BIL was ready to pass out by 10 pm. The guys took him back to his house, picked up my sister and they went out and finished the night. She had her bachelorette party in Vegas previously with some friends. She had a blast and had a blast. If BMan wants to do something for you and your close, I say let him. I helped my FH plan a Bach party for one of GM.
    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
  • I'm sorry you're bummed, that sucks. But maybe they're planning something in secret?

    I'm really hoping that no one plans any showers or bachelorettes or suchlike for me. I'm having enough trouble with the idea of being the center of attention for the wedding... The other day FMIL joked that she'd planned a kitchen tea for me and the guest list was at 60+ (that's twice as many people as we're expecting to actually attend the wedding) and I nearly had a stroke before I realised she was joking.
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  • We had a co-bachelor/ette party where our friends took both me and my then-fiancé out together. It was a blast! Maybe the best man can plan something similar.
  • I was bummed too when no one was even talking about a shower, then last week I got a surprise shower.  It was wonderful!  

    Like a previous poster said, maybe it's a surprise?  My sister mentioned in passing when I got engaged about a bachelorette party but I'm not too keen on the idea.  My FI hasn't had a bachelor party and we hope to do something for him right before the wedding.
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