Etiquette approved response to wedding invite?

sabrina69barnes

A friend from high school is getting remarried in a little over a year. We were very close as teenagers but aren't close anymore. It's a combination of growing apart and this person is very bossy and judgmental. We had a falling out a few years ago and reconnected on FB a year or so ago. FB is really our only way of communicating at this point. I don't really want to be close friends anymore but we have several mutual friends so it's least awkward for me to maintain the appearance of a friendship if that makes sense. With her past wedding, baby shower, and other life events this person has been gift grabby and entitled. There are several things she has made clear that people were expected to do for her on "her" days but when other people had special days she didn't do much of anything. She's been posting details about her wedding planning all over facebook and has been a complete AW about it. My plan about her next wedding had always been to bean dip if she ever brought up talking about her plans to me. If she sent me an invitation to her wedding or shower I would politely decline. Today she sent me this message "G and I are getting married on dd/mm/yy. Are you wanting to come?" How can I politely respond to this without committing to going or obviously lying by claiming I have plans that far in advance? IMO she should invite who she wants and not ask people to request an invite.

sabrina69barnes

I have no idea where my paragraphs went.

jerkyanne

"XX month is a busy month for me. If you choose to send me an invitation I will RSVP accordingly."

bethsmiles

I'd probably just ignore it or say something like "I can't know what my schedule will look in like XX this far in advance but I'd be honored to receive an invitation. Congrats on your wedding"

Mitch617

I agree, just say you'd be honored to be invited and you'll let her know as it gets closer if the date will work for your family. Your signature shows you're a mom and stepmom so you must be busy and she should understand if you don't "save the date" and end up having other family plans.

indianaalum

Wow, tough call. I guess I would say "sure, send me an invitation" and then decline at the time.......LOL ..invitations aren't summons anyhow. If you get one, it doesnt require you to go

cowgirl8238

As PP's suggested just say its a busy month and you'd be honored to get an invite and then just "have plans" when the invite actually shows up.

BTW who asks people if they want to be invited to their wedding?  To me, thats a litte strange.

climbingsingle

I could have written this exact post about a friend, although the invite I just declined was for yet another baptism party. I feel like I only get invites to gift giving events for her kids. And she treated me pretty shitty during her wedding as well. 

Anyway, I would do what PPs said. Tell her it's a busy month but you'd be honored to receive an invite. And then just decline. 

HisGirlFriday13

Ditto PPs with the caveat that, based on what you said about her, if you say yes you want an invite, she's going to view it as a mandatory gift-giving event.

I'd say, 'Oh, XX month is very busy for me, and I just can't know this far in advance what my scheduled will be. I'd hate for you to send me and invite and then me not be able to come, so maybe you'd better not send me one after all.'