What??

penguin44

I guess I should introduce myself first. Hi everyone. I have been lurking for a while, but this will be my first post. I am getting married in July this year. I have been raised to always follow proper etiquette, and all of these posts make me laugh. 

Anyway, I just received an invite to my FI's close friends' wedding in the mail. The groom is one of his fraternity brothers, and he has known the bride for quite a while. The invite is only addressed to my FI. There isn't even an "and guest."

Now, a little back story:

I have been with my FI for 4 years. I know both of the people getting married. We all went to college together. To make matters worse, we sent them our save the date a month ago. Oh, and we are all friends on Facebook. 

I don't understand why they would expect my FI to go to this out of town wedding without me. Why would he want to travel to rural Missouri by himself, and then stay in a hotel by himself. They also put "Adult only reception to follow" on their invite, and they kindly included registry info. 

Now my FI is saying he won't go without me (duh), and I told him I can't go because I wasn't invited. I really wish I hadn't sent them a save the date. They are so inconsiderate, I have no desire to share my wedding with them. 

cookie0803

That's so rude. Sorry that happened to you!


Look on the bright side: with the amount of etiquette errors on the invitation, it's probably safe to assume the actual wedding will be extremely eye roll worthy.

pumpkinsandturkeys

Ugh, gross. I'm glad that he decided (without prompting) that this wedding isn't worth a second thought.

hikebikebemerry

I don't understand not inviting significant others.

Minus the registry info/ no kids reception, perhaps they wanted to double check the spelling of you name, but totally spaced out on filling it in?  It's a stretch, particularly with their other etiquette violations, but it is possible.

HisGirlFriday13

Look on the bright side -- if you skip their wedding, they will probably skip yours, too!

AshleyNicole1218

I was miffed by an 'and guest' invite a few weeks ago...I's be pretty damn pissy about a non-invite!

I agree with Friday all the way!

penguin44

I was shocked when I saw the envelope. I thought maybe there was an inner envelope with both of our names. Nope! Good thing we didn't start making travel arrangements yet (the wedding is less than a month away). 

KPBM89

No money wasted on travel and gifts and (hopefully) no money you'll have to waste on their meals at your wedding?  Win for you!

Swazzle

Ugh that's so, so rude. 

climbingsingle

That is crazy rude! 

AprilH81

Are you SURE that you aren't invited? 

There are a lot of people out there who don't know the proper way to address an envelope and the couple may just assume that you know you are included.

Is there a way that your FI could reach out and ask without putting them on the spot?

thisismynickname2

AprilH81 said:

Are you SURE that you aren't invited? 

There are a lot of people out there who don't know the proper way to address an envelope and the couple may just assume that you know you are included.

Is there a way that your FI could reach out and ask without putting them on the spot?

I was going to say the same thing. Once, I had this boyfriend and we'd been together for roughly two years. My name, nor "and guest" was not on his invite to a wedding of his old college buddy so we assumed I wasn't invited.  Eventually the best man told my boyfriend the couple was shocked he wasn't bringing me and suspected we'd broken up.... come to find out the calligrapher screwed up, I was supposed to be invited, and the happy couple felt too awkward to find out why he RSVP'd alone! 

ETA: We all think people have real balls trying to add on invites, but there's a big difference between, "Hey, can I bring this hot one night stand?" and "Hey, my long-time girlfriend's name isn't on the invite. I just wanted to check and see if you were allowing plus-ones or not? No biggie if she's not invited, but I just wanted to make sure."  

penguin44

I thought about that option. They used labels to address the invites, but they are young, so maybe they don't know.

I don't know how FI would gracefully go about asking them if I'm actually invited though. He said he would, "take care of it." We are all engineers, so normal social protocal is unheard of for most of my college friends.