Chit Chat

Family element- with no family

FI and I adore our grandparents. We've asked them each for one of their own wedding photos we can display at our wedding along with ones from our parents' weddings. We love the history behind them and where our families have led us to today.

Thing is- we are not close with any other family members. I have 8 aunts/ uncles with spouses and 12 cousins and not a single one of them are invited because frankly I did not grow up with them and I don't know or care about them. We were forced to get together once a year for Christmas and that was all I've ever seen them. FI was close with a handful of aunts but they've all passed and he has a handful left who have lived across the country for his entire life so he doesn't really know them. He has one local aunt invited (only because FMIL badgered us to death). So in summary we have parents, grandparents, and one aunt invited to our wedding and the rest are entirely friends.

Is that weird to have the family photos displayed when no one else there is family? It will only be 5 frames on the guest book table, so not some huge massive show piece. But I don't want my grandparents to feel strange- like "why did you need our picture when no one here even knows us and you didn't even invite my other children"? I dunno, is that weird? I really like the pictures lol

                                                                 

image

Re: Family element- with no family

  • Family isn't solely about DNA. It's about the bonds you create with people who matter to you. I don't think anyone would side-eye only have your parents' and grandparents' photos. I, for one, would assume you only chose photos of direct ancestors.

    Our wedding had 152 invited guests. Of that number, 92 were mine and 60 were DH's. Of my side, 80 percent was family; 20 percent were friends. DH's was the other way round. He's not close to his family (doesn't speak to his parents, only has two aunts and one first cousin, etc.) He invited his friends, who have been family to him in ways his biological family members haven't been.

    Random genetic relationships don't make you family.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • Are they all going to be pictures of grandparents? Or are you including photos of your parents as well? I'm not entirely clear on what pictures make up the 5 you mentioned.

    I'd say it's fine to do parents and grandparents. If it's just grandparents, it might be odd. However, I see no need to include any other family members.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I don't think that would be weird at all, and I think it would be really lovely.
                                 Anniversary
    imageimageimage


     

  • jenna8984jenna8984 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited March 2014
    Are they all going to be pictures of grandparents? Or are you including photos of your parents as well? I'm not entirely clear on what pictures make up the 5 you mentioned.

    I'd say it's fine to do parents and grandparents. If it's just grandparents, it might be odd. However, I see no need to include any other family members.

    It's 1 picture of my maternal grandparents' wedding, 1 of my paternal grandparents' wedding, 1 of my parents' wedding, 1 of FI's parents' wedding, and 1 of FI's maternal grandparents' wedding.

    I'm not worried about pictures of any other family members. I was more worried about my guests thinking it's strange that I'm all "family!" and then didn't invite more family. lol

                                                                     

    image

  • That sounds absolutely perfect. No need to change anything at all! I'd do something like that too if we could!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I think you're fine. Are you including parent photos, as well? Parents might be offended if they're left out, but I wouldn't think twice about any couples outside of that being excluded. 

    FI & I are including wedding day photos of our parents & grandparents, too :) 
    image
  • @hisgirlfriday13 That has been my motto since I was like 13 years old- You don't have to be blood to be familyl! Like I told FI, if any of my aunts get offended for not being invited it's their own damn fault for being a shitty aunt. I absolutely adore my nephew and couldn't imagine not being part of his life. So that really makes me look at my aunts and think "why have you never cared to be in my life?" 

     

    Thanks guys, I'm glad you think they will look alright! :)

                                                                     

    image

  • @jenna8984 -- A.MEN!! I adore my nephew, and I love being in his life. He's 2.5 and I mail him post cards every week (which then my parents have to read to him), and he LOVES it -- he gets excited every time he goes over and says, 'Auntie send mail? Auntie send picture?'

    But I look at him and how involved I am in his life and think, of some of my own aunts and uncles, 'Why did you miss out on this? This is awesome! You get the fun of a little kid without the responsibility of full-time parenting!'
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards