Wedding Etiquette Forum

My mom wants to have a PPD

This will be her third marriage, the other two were done in the courthouse. Me and my other siblings weren't even there. She just came home each time and said "I'm married" My mom has a history of bad decision making and being impulsive when it comes to relationships, but that's a story for another day. Anyway, now she has actually met a nice guy and they "want to do it right this time" He proposed to her recently. Of course I was excited for her. I said, "well now it's time to start planning your wedding." She says, "I dont want to conflict or take away from your big day so I think we will just go ahead and get married and have a wedding later." Just the choice of words annoys me to death! How can you "get married" and then "have a wedding later?" You already had the wedding when you got married!!! That's just like saying, "I'm going to eat now and have dinner later." WTH? Since she got engaged we have had SEVERAL conversations about how her wedding would not take away from mine in any way. It's not like she is paying for my wedding or anything. It just annoys me so badly that she is set on this PPD. She said that "the wedding doesn't matter" So why are you planning a PPD?! I asked her why she would want to invite people to a re-do of her actual wedding day. I told her that the day she gets married can only happen once. There are no "do-overs" Her response is that they want that experience but they dont want to wait. They want to be married as soon as possible. Well, mother, you cant have your cake and eat it too! FI and I didnt want a 16 month engagement, but we knew that's what we had to do in order to plan and save. Adults make sacrifices! I recently sent her a link to Grumbledore's post on PPDs. She never even acknowledged my text about it, but I'm sure she read it. To make matters worse her friends and family are supporting this horrible idea. Telling her "people do it all the time." I love my mom, so I would go to her PPD, but be prepared for several ranting posts along the way lol. 

Re: My mom wants to have a PPD

  • See LURKERS even your immediate family wil judge you!!!

    Sounds like no matter what you do your mom won't listen, so I would just stop pushing it at this point and hope that she comes around on her own.  In the mean time, internet hugs.

  • "To make matters worse her friends and family are supporting this horrible idea."

    Chances are, they feel similar to the way you do, but they love her like you do, so, there you go. It is what it is. You can't stop a runaway train.
  • raeah219 said:
    This will be her third marriage, the other two were done in the courthouse. Me and my other siblings weren't even there. She just came home each time and said "I'm married" My mom has a history of bad decision making and being impulsive when it comes to relationships, but that's a story for another day. Anyway, now she has actually met a nice guy and they "want to do it right this time" He proposed to her recently. Of course I was excited for her. I said, "well now it's time to start planning your wedding." She says, "I dont want to conflict or take away from your big day so I think we will just go ahead and get married and have a wedding later." Just the choice of words annoys me to death! How can you "get married" and then "have a wedding later?" You already had the wedding when you got married!!! That's just like saying, "I'm going to eat now and have dinner later." WTH? Since she got engaged we have had SEVERAL conversations about how her wedding would not take away from mine in any way. It's not like she is paying for my wedding or anything. It just annoys me so badly that she is set on this PPD. She said that "the wedding doesn't matter" So why are you planning a PPD?! I asked her why she would want to invite people to a re-do of her actual wedding day. I told her that the day she gets married can only happen once. There are no "do-overs" Her response is that they want that experience but they dont want to wait. They want to be married as soon as possible. Well, mother, you cant have your cake and eat it too! FI and I didnt want a 16 month engagement, but we knew that's what we had to do in order to plan and save. Adults make sacrifices! I recently sent her a link to Grumbledore's post on PPDs. She never even acknowledged my text about it, but I'm sure she read it. To make matters worse her friends and family are supporting this horrible idea. Telling her "people do it all the time." I love my mom, so I would go to her PPD, but be prepared for several ranting posts along the way lol. 
    Send her here, we'll talk some sense into her. ;D
    Wedding Countdown Ticker


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  • Maybe if you offered to help plan a quick wedding so she doesn't have to wait and I'd also want to say

    "Mom i love you and I'm thrilled you and groom are getting married. I want to share your actual wedding day with you not some do - over/fake day"
    Inkdancer
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