Wedding 911

Moving the wedding from Feb 2016 to THIS MAY! HELP!!!

AliLovesJDAliLovesJD
10 Comments
member
edited April 2014 in Wedding 911
I can't take this drama for two years. I just can't! My future in-laws are acting like assholes. DF Godparents are estranged from them. They have been for 10 years over a fight that no one wants to own up to.

We had called them to see how many people they thought they would want to invite to our wedding. DF dad kinda blew him off and said they didn't really know anyone. (I should probably point out that both of them are estranged from 90% of their own families for various reasons.) DF mentioned just making a mock guest list since the wedding was so far away time-wise. We just needed a decent estimate so we could start looking at venues. DF pointed out that we had our own list and that various people, including his godparents, were on it. His dad replied in clipped tones, "That's your decision". They had said, not 3 months ago, that they loved he still had his godparents in his life.

DF was kicked out of his house several times when he was younger. For STUPID stuff. Everyone I talked to said that his parents were WAY too hard on him. When DF got married the first time they cut all ties with him until he divorced her. His family walked away like he meant nothing to them. However his godparents and their family weathered the storm with him, gave her emotional support (his ex was a horror) and took him in when he was a kid and out on his ass. He was sleeping in a car during winter! His parents kicked him out right before Christmas!! He adores his godparents and is happy when he sees them. His parents he views as slightly better than going to the dentist.

Long story short, his parents are upset that we would invite his godparents to our wedding without clearing it with them first. I have mixed feelings on that. Yes they are his parents, but I also feel it's pretty shitty that after everything they've done they are trying to pull that card. They are also claiming that they don't agree with "big weddings" and that they think it's a waste. ALLL-Righty!!

And we've gotten quite enough comments about it being both of ours second wedding and that we are making a big deal out of nothing. So we decided to move up the wedding.to this May. We are moving to another state August 1st and have full time jobs and school until then. DF is taking summer classes and I work full-time. So May is when we have our break. And since Mother's Day and Memorial Day fall on alternate weekends we are getting married in the one in between. May 17 in Atlantic City. We decided to start our new life being married and happy. We also wont have to deal with this crap for 2 more years.

Side note: Atlantic City, NJ is because it was our first date and has an airport right in town for anyone who may want to come in from out of state.

We were going to elope but thought we should at least give our families a chance to be there if they could. Otherwise it will be just us standing on a beach which is MORE than okay. Anyone who comes we would take out to dinner with us and then pay for everyone to go dancing in the casino we are staying in. Then go gamble together. We also have welcome bags made up and are getting small favors. Nothing too fancy.

We called a few select people and let them know what we are doing. It's all hush hush since we don't want a ton of people there. We are sending out small simple invitations and asking everyone to RSVP by phone. But we decided not to tell his parents until EVERYTHING is set in stone. We know already most of the people we told are coming.

We talked to his godparents who decided to reach out and try to mend fences. If it happens by then great, but if not we will handle it.

I'm comfortable with my decision. It won't be the wedding I was originally planning, but I'm more concerned with having a wonderful marriage than having a extravagant wedding. I don't want strain our our relationship because of other people. I don't care how/when we get married, just that we get married. That being said I know this is all very fast and last minute. We surprised a lot of people. They are happy for us and can't wait to be there.

I know this is childish, but even though I am happy with our new choice, I feel like I'm letting his parents win.

Thank You to whoever took the time to read all this!

END RANT

Re: Moving the wedding from Feb 2016 to THIS MAY! HELP!!!

  • jenna8984jenna8984 clam bakes & patriots
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    member

    Ok. Not sure what you need help with? lol

     

                                                                     

    image

    sarawifenowcarliealissa
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Can I get a CN?
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I can't take this drama for two years. I just can't! My future in-laws are acting like assholes. DF Godparents are estranged from them. They have been for 10 years over a fight that no one wants to own up to.

    We had called them to see how many people they thought they would want to invite to our wedding. DF dad kinda blew him off and said they didn't really know anyone. (I should probably point out that both of them are estranged from 90% of their own families for various reasons.) DF mentioned just making a mock guest list since the wedding was so far away time-wise. We just needed a decent estimate so we could start looking at venues. DF pointed out that we had our own list and that various people, including his godparents, were on it. His dad replied in clipped tones, "That's your decision". They had said, not 3 months ago, that they loved he still had his godparents in his life.

    DF was kicked out of his house several times when he was younger. For STUPID stuff. Everyone I talked to said that his parents were WAY too hard on him. When DF got married the first time they cut all ties with him until he divorced her. His family walked away like he meant nothing to them. However his godparents and their family weathered the storm with him, gave her emotional support (his ex was a horror) and took him in when he was a kid and out on his ass. He was sleeping in a car during winter! His parents kicked him out right before Christmas!! He adores his godparents and is happy when he sees them. His parents he views as slightly better than going to the dentist.

    Long story short, his parents are upset that we would invite his godparents to our wedding without clearing it with them first. I have mixed feelings on that. Yes they are his parents, but I also feel it's pretty shitty that after everything they've done they are trying to pull that card. They are also claiming that they don't agree with "big weddings" and that they think it's a waste. ALLL-Righty!!

    And we've gotten quite enough comments about it being both of ours second wedding and that we are making a big deal out of nothing. So we decided to move up the wedding.to this May. We are moving to another state August 1st and have full time jobs and school until then. DF is taking summer classes and I work full-time. So May is when we have our break. And since Mother's Day and Memorial Day fall on alternate weekends we are getting married in the one in between. May 17 in Atlantic City. We decided to start our new life being married and happy. We also wont have to deal with this crap for 2 more years.

    Side note: Atlantic City, NJ is because it was our first date and has an airport right in town for anyone who may want to come in from out of state.

    We were going to elope but thought we should at least give our families a chance to be there if they could. Otherwise it will be just us standing on a beach which is MORE than okay. Anyone who comes we would take out to dinner with us and then pay for everyone to go dancing in the casino we are staying in. Then go gamble together. We also have welcome bags made up and are getting small favors. Nothing too fancy.

    We called a few select people and let them know what we are doing. It's all hush hush since we don't want a ton of people there. We are sending out small simple invitations and asking everyone to RSVP by phone. But we decided not to tell his parents until EVERYTHING is set in stone. We know already most of the people we told are coming.

    We talked to his godparents who decided to reach out and try to mend fences. If it happens by then great, but if not we will handle it.

    I'm comfortable with my decision. It won't be the wedding I was originally planning, but I'm more concerned with having a wonderful marriage than having a extravagant wedding. I don't want strain our our relationship because of other people. I don't care how/when we get married, just that we get married. That being said I know this is all very fast and last minute. We surprised a lot of people. They are happy for us and can't wait to be there.

    I know this is childish, but even though I am happy with our new choice, I feel like I'm letting his parents win.

    Thank You to whoever took the time to read all this!

    END RANT

    huh?
  • Sorry for the confusion. I was pretty upset when I wrote this.

    I was hoping to get thoughts on if his parents are in the right or if they should be sucking it up. And also if there's any areas of our idea for this May that can be improved on.

    Thanks again!

  • sarawifenowsarawifenow Denver, baby!
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    member
    Sorry for the confusion. I was pretty upset when I wrote this.

    I was hoping to get thoughts on if his parents are in the right or if they should be sucking it up. And also if there's any areas of our idea for this May that can be improved on.

    Thanks again!
    Are his parents helping pay for anything? If so, they have a little leeway. If not, they don't really have a leg to stand on IMO.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    doeydo
  • Sorry for the confusion. I was pretty upset when I wrote this.

    I was hoping to get thoughts on if his parents are in the right or if they should be sucking it up. And also if there's any areas of our idea for this May that can be improved on.

    Thanks again!
    Honestly, if they aren't paying for it (which I didn't get the impression they were), you really shouldn't concern yourself with whether they like it or not. It sounds to me like they're going to create drama no matter what, so just don't let it get to you. If they want to pick fights with other people, just sit back and let them make themselves look like the immature ones while you take the high road. It sounds like you're doing a good job of concentrating on what IS important, which is MARRIAGE > WEDDING. Take a deep breath and focus on that. And congrats! Some friends of mine had a little wedding on the beach in Atlantic City last year and it was beautiful.

    image
    image
  • I just really wanted to use this gif. image
    chibiyuiKGold80
  • (I did actually read it though)
  • KatWAG said:

    Can I get a CN?

    CN: Groom's parents are asshole, B&G are moving up wedding and not telling groom's parents until everything is set in stone, but I'm fuzzy on why that is.

    OP, I'd tell DH's parents to build a bridge and GTFO their issues, because his godparents will be invited and if they don't like that, they can just not come.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    KGold80chibiyuiKittyKaty20
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