Chit Chat

Today sucks. *vent*

Semi-background:

To start, I've been off of "work" (I'm a graduate student, but I do research in a lab instead of actually class work) for the past month thanks to vertigo. Last week was my full week back, and even then I've just been doing a bunch of reading because I'm not comfortable working with the chemicals that I work with while I'm dizzy. I have no idea what's causing the dizziness (or vertigo, or motion intolerance, whatever the heck they call it). So far I've seen a total of 4 different doctors. After seeing 2 different gen medicine doctors, I got a referral for an ENT. The ENT said it doesn't sound like an ENT problem, so he sent me to my neurologist (I get migraines, too, so I had seen this neurologist before). I saw him last week, but he told me to stop taking the medicine I was taking to suppress the vertigo and see him this week. I saw him on Monday, and he said that he wants me to get an MRI just to roll out anything serious, but he can't tell for sure what's causing the vertigo. Based on what I've read (thanks, google scholar!) and what he told me, I *think* that this is a vestibular migraine, which I have never, ever had before. So, the MRI people are supposed to call me. Well, apparently, that's not the case. One of my lab mates went through the same thing, and it turns out that YOU are supposed to call THEM! Whatever, at least I found that out before I waited weeks (which wouldn't be good; my wedding is at the end of this month). So, I'm still not feeling 100%, but I'm really itchy to get back to my normal routines, and I want to work on my projects. I don't like taking a day off of work, let alone a month!!!!! Also, I *just* had my projects working well when this crappy vertigo stuff happened. Luckily, my advisor is super awesome and isn't pushing me to get back; he just wants me to get better.

For why today is just crap:

-I called to schedule my MRI, but there's ANOTHER number that I have to call to get ahold of radiology. So, I guess I'll get to call tomorrow! Joy.

-My FI refused to take me into work today (normally he drops me off on his way into his work) because there's an event in town that could have taken him 3+ hours to get to work if he had to drop me off. This was because of potential road closures, but the town was being tight-lipped about what was going on. Luckily, I got a ride in from my lab mate. Unfortunately, this meant I was in at like 8am, when my FI is working late, so I've been going in around 10:30 am. 

-Found out today that because of all the switching around with how I'm getting paid (different fellowships vs. my advisor directly paying me), they cancelled my vision insurance. I had added my FI and then vision during the open enrollment period last semester, but because my appointment changed, they cancelled it. Found out today when FI tried to make an eye appt and they told him they couldn't find our insurance info, and I apparently wasn't enrolled. I had to call HR, who told me to contact my department, so now I'm waiting for my department to get back to me, and I'm waiting to see who I have to contact next. Fortunately, my FI still is under my insurance, so it's not like if he gets sick he's SOL or anything like that.

-I don't pay my student loans right now from undergrad because I'm a full-time student, and I don't make much. My program takes 5-6 years. Apparently I've reached the limit (???) for being able to defer for being a full-time student for one of my loans. (I ignored the "You'll have to make payments soon" letters because I always get them at the beginning of the semester before my university updates all of the enrollment info.) I guess they assume that all graduate programs take 2 years. I'll be lucky if a postdoc takes me only 2 years to complete before I can get a "real" job!!!

-Our instrument isn't working in the way we need it to work, and the support for the software is ending this month. 

-I just feel really crappy. This vertigo stuff really drains me. I only was in for a half day today to to take care of my loans/MRI/health insurance from the privacy of my own home. But, our house is a wreck because I haven't been taking care of my share of the chores (FI has really stepped up for me--he is an amazing guy, and he hasn't put pressure on me to do anything since I'm so unbalanced. It took him a little while to stop following me around the house when I got off of the couch when he was home. He was worried that I would fall and hurt myself, especially since we have steps leading to the upstairs.) I feel guilty because he's been taking care of the chores (we split chores and cooking pretty much 50/50, sometimes more, sometimes less depending on how one of us is doing). So, I feel guilty because he's been taking care of me, and stressed because our house is very disorganized, and disorganization stresses me out.

-We're less than a month away from our wedding, and I still have a ton to do, but I get really nauseous and dizzy trying to do stuff (like writing thank you cards for my shower, making our centerpieces, doing the seating cards with meal preferences, etc.). On the plus side, I only have 3 more thank you cards to do for my shower!! My mom and grandma were really impressed with how quickly I got the majority of them done :) Thank you, ladies of the Knot boards! Lurking about the thank you etiquette and etiquette in general has been REALLY, REALLY helpful! But still, I'm stressed about the little stuff that I have a hard time doing because of the vertigo!

-I hate talking to strangers on the phone. Like, really, really, really, really hate it. I'm very much an introvert, so I prefer email to communicate with people I don't know, so today was just awful. Plus, hold music sucks. Everyone I talked to was really nice, though, and I always try to be super nice to them because I used to work in customer service, so I know how it goes...

-I previewed this rant, and the paragraphs were messed up. Hopefully, they're fixed now!

So, summary: Vertigo sucks, being caught in the student/employee paradigm sucks, scheduling appointments sucks, student loans suck, sometimes TK paragraph formatting sucks, and today, in general, just sucks. Thanks for letting me vent! 

Re: Today sucks. *vent*

  • I'm so sorry! My boss has been dealing with vertigo for the last few months and has been dealing with similar issues. Lots of doctors, diet changes, and just feeling lousy. She's having a rough time.

    With the student loans, give a call. You might still need to start paying but the amounts might be negotiable.

    Good luck- and I hope you feel better soon!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Thanks! I'm working with the student loan program now... but still dealing with the vertigo! I hope your boss starts feeling better!
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