Help me surprise the bride with bachelorette party! (She wants details!)

yellowdaisies84

Hi all, I'm a bridesmaid and we have a surprise bachelorette party planned for the bride which is going to happen in the evening after her bridal shower. She just sent all of us a Facebook message and said "Hey girls, not sure what you're planning for the bachelorette but the weekends I'm off are A, B, and C. Also after the shower, since we will be near the mall and together if you wanted to go look at shoes together. Not sure what you girls plan on wearing. Doesn't matter to me." Any advice on how to reply to this? Or should I not respond and let the MOH or other bridesmaid handle it?

ETA: One of the dates she mentioned being free is the night of the bridal shower and the next day.

melbenso

As long as the date of the bachelorette party works for her, I think it's fine to just not respond if that is what you want. 

HisGirlFriday13

yellowdaisies84 said:

Hi all, I'm a bridesmaid and we have a surprise bachelorette party planned for the bride which is going to happen in the evening after her bridal shower. She just sent all of us a Facebook message and said "Hey girls, not sure what you're planning for the bachelorette but the weekends I'm off are A, B, and C. Also after the shower, since we will be near the mall and together if you wanted to go look at shoes together. Not sure what you girls plan on wearing. Doesn't matter to me." Any advice on how to reply to this? Or should I not respond and let the MOH or other bridesmaid handle it?

I think it depends on how much of a surprise you want this to be. At the very least, you should really tell her the date, so she knows it's coming.

TheGrimReaper

When exactly will she find out about the bachelorette? You know your friend better than me but I would be really unhappy if I found out right before that my bachelorette was starting NOW.

Inkdancer

TheGrimReaper said:

When exactly will she find out about the bachelorette? You know your friend better than me but I would be really unhappy if I found out right before that my bachelorette was starting NOW.

Second this! I can't imagine having a shower and my bachelorette on the same day--I would be exhausted by spending time with other people for that long, even if they are my besties. Please at least drop hints or something so she can be prepared.

delujm0

I don't care for surprises. I'll tolerate a few surprise events during a bachelorette party/shower but I need to at least know when the bachelorette/shower will be happening. At least tell her what night to block off and why. My sister (MOH) tried to throw me a surprise shower but fortunately I live over 800 miles from everyone else in my and FI's families, so since I had to fly there to attend, she was forced to tell me when it was. Which was good because I (a) needed to plan what to wear and (b) i have trouble gearing myself up to be the "super sweet and excited center of attention" that a shower in my honor would require, so advance notice was key.

PrettyGirlLost

TheGrimReaper said:

When exactly will she find out about the bachelorette? You know your friend better than me but I would be really unhappy if I found out right before that my bachelorette was starting NOW.

This.  Plus I tend to make plans a week or so in advance, so she probably will need the date at the very least so that your plans are not in vain ;-)

ab6704a

 

delujm0 said:

I don't care for surprises. I'll tolerate a few surprise events during a bachelorette party/shower but I need to at least know when the bachelorette/shower will be happening. At least tell her what night to block off and why. My sister (MOH) tried to throw me a surprise shower but fortunately I live over 800 miles from everyone else in my and FI's families, so since I had to fly there to attend, she was forced to tell me when it was. Which was good because I (a) needed to plan what to wear and (b) i have trouble gearing myself up to be the "super sweet and excited center of attention" that a shower in my honor would require, so advance notice was key.

This, 100%

If she sent that message she might be fishing for a hint.  When I found out my friends were planning a surprise party (and I'm glad I did find out because I hate surprise parties), it made me really anxious not to know when it was going to go down.

TheGrimReaper

Is there a reason you want it to be a surprise? I mean, she seems to be expecting a party, so the bachelorette party itself isn't a surprise.  While you could keep the activities a surprise (as long as that won't make her super anxious), can't you just tell her the date so she's prepared?

grumbledore

I would want to clear the date personally.  Honestly my first thought was, what if it was planned during that time of the month?  I mean, seriously, I would not be into that at all.  I would be miserable.

Just a thought.  Surprises can be fun, but they can also backfire.

MrsMarende

My bachelorette will be a surprise to me all except the date. I would be bummed if I found out it was happening right now and already had an obligation or wasn't ready for it.

happywiggle

TheGrimReaper said:

When exactly will she find out about the bachelorette? You know your friend better than me but I would be really unhappy if I found out right before that my bachelorette was starting NOW.

I would, too.

A tad off topic (semi-related), but I, for one, am going to be trying for a family starting a couple of months before the wedding. I would like to know when (and IF!) a bachelorette party was happening so I could prepare accordingly.

SomethingBeautiful08

If you aren't the actual host of the party I don't think it would be your place to "spill the beans".  As you wrote it, not something I would feel obligated to respond to but if the bride ask you directly I would just tell her that you have plans for that evening and avoid exactly what you are doing.  I'm with the others, I'm not much for surprises, so it wouldn't be my preference.  One option might be to have one or two girls "reserve the Brides time" by planning a girls night with her then surprise that it is actually her Bacholorette .. That might be preferable.