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Bride steamrolling over bachelor party (vent!)

First off, this problem has pretty much been resolved, so at this point I'm just venting.  But feel free to throw out whatever insight you've got.

Fi's younger brother (G) is getting married this summer after a pretty short engagement.  His Fi (B) already planned her own destination bach party, foiling the plans of her BMs who had planned a local girls' night.

Now the guys are planning G's bach party.  B's brother  has been pushing really hard for a Vegas trip.  There are several problems with this: they only have a few weeks to plan, but #1 is budget.  Fi has budgeted about $300 for this; BM has two kids and his own wedding coming up; other FBIL is a broke college student.

The guys came over our house yesterday and hashed it out for like three hours.  B's brother ignored everyone else and pushed Vegas the entire time.  Then B started texting the guys, that she will pay for G's plane ticket if they go to Vegas, and Vegas would be the time of G's life and they really should go to Vegas.

It's obvious now that B's brother is just speaking for B, and she's the one pushing for the expensive trip.  Even if she pays for the ticket, it's way out of budget and there's not enough time to plan and take off work.  This is the couple that took a date and location that's inconvenient for all VIPs, because they got a deal on a date nobody else wanted.  But the minute it's about friends taking out G, then all bets are off and they need to do some elaborate travel weekend.

Afterwards, BM got in touch directly with G and explained that not everyone can come to Vegas.  G opted for a closer location so more people can come, and for now it looks like the showdown is over.  B's brother is now texting everyone about how they need to "pull out all the stops" to show G the time of his life, since they are staying closer to home.

I told Fi he needs to just be very clear about his budget, and if that means he participates in only some activities, then so be it.  I am just really turned off that this bride, who normally is a low-key girl, has become so crazy about both bach parties.  When you have a short engagement, you can't expect people to save up money in just a few months to take you on some expensive cross-country "time of your life" weekend.  And money aside, the tack factor of B trying to plan both bach parties is just so high.  It's stressing Fi out, and it's really making me grumpy.
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Re: Bride steamrolling over bachelor party (vent!)

  • Ick! That would be really irritating. Sounds like B needs to back off. The other groomsmen should stop including B's brother in the planning and just text him the when and where when they have it all figured out.
  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2014
    Ugh that is infuriating. G needs to grow a backbone and tell B to back off, as well as her little brother. It's his Bach party, not hers, and little B needs to be more considerate of others. And what's with this obsession to have the "most fun night ever!!!" at either Bach party? You're getting married, your life can still go on after that! You can still go on trips, or have a night out with your friends. I'm glad it all got resolved for now, and hopefully they end up having a night that everyone can enjoy.
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  • @pinkcow13 I don't understand the obsession either.  Last night Fi and I were half-asleep talking about this and he said, "I don't understand why they think a bach party needs to be an entire weekend away somewhere crazy.  I think for my party, I'd want to charter a boat and go fishing with the guys for an afternoon, and eat a really good dinner."

    My ideal bach party is a spa day, nice dinner, and maybe a show or concert afterwards.  Would I love to take an extravagant trip somewhere?  Sure.  But I'm not gonna pressure my friends (or, God forbid, Fi's friends) into paying for it.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • Yea it's insane. As long as I'm with my friends for my Bach party I could care less if it's in Vegas, or some dive bar in the city. I would love to go to Miami, but I'm not going to force anyone into it. My ideal bach would be a night out in the city. Drinks, dinner, maybe dancing? I think people need to remember that the wedding is just one day, and crazy behavior can ruin lifelong friendships or relationships.
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  • I know of several people that had crazy expensive bach parties, and I never understood WHY they felt the need. And the guests all grumped behind the backs of whoever planned it. I have only attended a handful of bach parties because I refuse to have anyone tell me how to spend my money.
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