Chit Chat

Seeing the groom before the wedding

I booked a few nights in the hotel we have our room block in and plan on getting ready there. But I don't yet know what my fiance will do. For those of you who were intimate with your FI before you got married- did you stay together the night before or no? I sort of want to send him off to his parents on Friday night so we don't see each other on Saturday. But I also don't think it's really fair that I get to stay at the hotel and he doesn't. My family lives too far away for me to stay there and drive up day of.
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Re: Seeing the groom before the wedding

  • FI and I are booking separate hotel rooms the night before the wedding. Our venue is about 45 minutes from where we live, so it will just be easier for us to stay at the hotel after the rehearsal dinner and be able to get ready with our attendants/family separately instead of trying to do it all in one room.
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  • We stayed together, and even had brunch in the hotel restaurant the morning of.  We split up around 1pm ish to get ready, though in dropping stuff off at the get ready room, he did see me with rollers in my hair.  We didn't see each other until the ceremony though.  We also did a DW, so we couldn't stay at family houses.  I suppose I could have stayed in my parents hotel (2 bdrm), but we never planned to do that.  

  • I have lived with my FI for 4 years but we will not be staying together the night before the wedding.

    After the rehearsal (Thursday night) he is going to be with his BM at his house and my MOH will be staying with me. However FI and I are going to be doing a first look and all that jazz so it almost defeats the purpose of staying a part haha.

    Maybe you could ask how much an extra room will cost for your FI to stay in one night.
  • phiraphira member
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    Our situation is a bit different, since there are rooms at our venue we can get ready in, but we're doing most of our getting-ready off-site. Essentially, all we're doing when we get to the venue is changing into our attire, and then we're going to do our first look and most of our formals.

    That said, I'm excited to stay together before the wedding. Our rehearsal has to be pretty early the day before, so we're thinking of just relaxing the night before the wedding in our apartment. Not ordering food, though; we have the worst luck with delivery and I'm not willing to risk food poisoning the night before the wedding (or, as is usually my luck, the day of the wedding--my lower GI tract is much more sensitive than my stomach).
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  • We stayed together the night before our wedding. We really just wanted to be together. That morning, he left to finish setting up and I got my hair done. We didn't see each other then till the first look. 
  • I can't imagine spending the night prior to the biggest event of our relationship to-date without him.
  • We are staying together that night at our apartment and then going out for breakfast early that morning before all the wedding day chaos begins. I don't think I would sleep well without him and it would be nice to wake up next to him and have some time alone with him that morning before we go our separate ways and get ready for the wedding.
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  • I agree that we don't sleep well when we're apart. Even if I go out with friends for the night and FI knows I'm coming home at midnight he can't fall asleep until I'm there.

    We are sleeping at our house the night before and the night of the wedding. It's 45 minutes from the venue but we do not drink so that's not a problem for us to make the drive.

    Are you doing a first look? Even if you're not I see no harm in waking up together. But that's personal preference!

                                                                     

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  • I can't imagine spending the night prior to the biggest event of our relationship to-date without him.
    Agreed, I think we will just sleep in our bed like normal and then get up and get ready.

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  • phiraphira member
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    Honestly, reading responses, I'm getting the sense that it depends on how much different you want things to be in the hours and days leading up to the wedding. I want everything to kind of feel as normal as possible, which means we'll go to bed and wake up like we normally would (although I'm sure we'll have trouble sleeping AND we'll be waking up earlier than we'd like).
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  • Our wedding was 2 hours from where we live and I really liked the idea of spending the night before my wedding with my BMs. H had his own room at the hotel and I stayed in the suite with my girls. We were together up until we went to sleep (we had pizza and drinks in the suite for the bridal party, parents, and everyone else who came to the hotel early). H was fine with whatever I wanted to do and this is what worked for us. 

    The day of the wedding, I hadn't intended for us to see each other until the first look but I was taking the elevator downstairs for some reason and it stopped on his floor and he was standing there. I was like "AHH DON'T LOOK AT ME!" and the other random people on the elevator thought I was crazy. 



  • I agree with PP. I want to sleep with FI. I know I'll be freaking out, and I'll want him near.

    We rented a large beach house for us and a few of our closest friends for the weekend of the wedding. All getting ready will take place at the house as well as almost all photos prior to the ceremony. There's a large bedroom that takes over the top floor, and that's where I assume I will get ready. I figure we can avoid each other in the same house pretty easily for an hour or two before the "first look".

    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • ElcaBElcaB member
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    Swazzle said:
    Our wedding was 2 hours from where we live and I really liked the idea of spending the night before my wedding with my BMs. H had his own room at the hotel and I stayed in the suite with my girls. We were together up until we went to sleep (we had pizza and drinks in the suite for the bridal party, parents, and everyone else who came to the hotel early). H was fine with whatever I wanted to do and this is what worked for us. 

    The day of the wedding, I hadn't intended for us to see each other until the first look but I was taking the elevator downstairs for some reason and it stopped on his floor and he was standing there. I was like "AHH DON'T LOOK AT ME!" and the other random people on the elevator thought I was crazy. 
    This is cracking me up and I can't stop laughing. 

    For now, our plans are to sleep separately. FI will likely stay at his parents' house and I will stay at home and have my sister/MOH sleep over like I did for her wedding. 
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  • FI & I have separate hotel rooms at separate hotels.  I'm staying in rooms with my MOH & flower girl ( my sister and my niece)

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  • I'm staying in the hotel with my sis/MOH. He'll be home with the dogs. That's just always how I pictured it would go, I guess. 

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  • It will be different for us. We are long distance right now and both be traveling home to get married so we will both stay at home (apart). My MOH and her BF, my uncle/pastor and his family, and a few other friends will also be staying with me.

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  • we stayed in the hotel together the night before. I knew I would not sleep well without him. We woke up and had breakfast together in the room-- it was the most alone time we got all day actually! His brothers picked him up around 9:30 and then I took a nice bath and my hairdresser, MUA and bridesmaids showed up around 10:30.
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  • I'm probably going to be getting a hotel room with one of my BM's. She's coming from about 3 hours away, and we have early hair appointments. And our house will be overrun with family and GMs. 
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  • The plan is that I was going to stay with my sister at the hotel the night before the wedding while FI will stay at our house with his son. They'll get ready at the house and the BMs will join my sister and I at the hotel to get ready the day of. The boys want the house to themselves (1 bathroom) so it's best for me not to be there.

    My sister and I did the same when she got married and she told me repeatedly how much it meant to her. She didn't want to spend the night before with her FI and as her twin/best friend/MOH it made sense for us to stay together. We always planned to do the same for me but I'm worried that she'll change her mind as she keeps talking about how inconvenient it will be for her.

    My parents don't have space for me the night before the wedding because their house will be filled with guests. If my sister bails, I'm probably going to spend the night alone at my hotel. And that would suck.
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  • We spent the night together and went out for breakfast before going our separate ways to get ready.  We also did a first look, so spending the night together wasn't going to change the fact that he would see me before the ceremony.  For me, personally, I knew the more time I spent with H before the ceremony, the calmer I'd be.  There's no right or wrong answer in this situation -- you have to do what feels right for you and your FI.  Have you asked him what he thinks?
  • We spent the night apart…I stayed home with my daughters and FMIL, he went to the hotel we'd blocked rooms in so he could hang out with the GMs.  

    The day of, me, my daughters and MIL got our hair done, and H and his GMs went and got old fashioned shaves.  I didn't set eyes on him until I started walking down the aisle.  

    I wouldn't have minded spending the night before with him, but he wanted to wait until the ceremony to see me as his bride for the first time.

    Really, it depends on what y'all want to do.  There is no incorrect way.
  • We spent the night together at a hotel that was closer to our venue than our apartment was, and then I got up before him and got ready in my aunt's room and didn't see him until the ceremony.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I will probably stay at my mom's house the night before. My fiancé and I live together, but we don't want to see each other until the ceremony. I'm used to going to bed without him, since he works nights and I work days. Plus, he is usually gone a few weeks or more every year with his band. I can sleep just fine on my own.
  • FI doesn't want to see me. I thought he meant he just didn't want to see me all dressed up until the ceremony, but he doesn't want to see me at all. So he will probably stay at the apartment or with his parents and I will stay at a hotel with a friend. Works for me because my guests are all OOT and I'd like to spend time with them anyway, but the idea of not seeing him the day of until the ceremony does stress me out a bit. It's one day though and we'll be busy, I'll survive.
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