Chit Chat

I hate second guessing myself.

I have already purchased my wedding dress. I love love love it. However, I was watching TV this weekend and saw a dress that I thought was beautiful. Instantly, I started second guessing myself about my dress choice. The woman on TV was wearing a string of pearls with her dress. That also made me second guess my jewelry choices (I've already bought emerald jewelry). 

When we first got engaged, I decided I only wanted a MOH. I was married before 10 years ago and had a very large bridal party. But now I feel bad that my FSIL is not a bridesmaid (though I did ask her to do a reading and she's really happy). I'll be her MOH when she marries my brother next year. And now I'm second-guessing not having another close girlfriend in the wedding. 

This has also happened to me while watching Four Weddings. I started rethinking all my decor and worrying that I didn't have enough. Ugh! I need to stop. 

image


Re: I hate second guessing myself.

  • Yes.  Stop.

    I only had a MOH and it was lovely to not have to coordinate a bunch of people...  I'm sure you have made lovely decisions and don't over think it!

    photo composite_14153800476219.jpg
  • AprilH81 said:

    Yes.  Stop.

    I only had a MOH and it was lovely to not have to coordinate a bunch of people...  I'm sure you have made lovely decisions and don't over think it!

    Yes! Thank you for pointing that out. Many times I've told myself - It's so nice to not have a bridal party to worry about. 
  • Awww, yea all I can say is don't over think and over analyze things. I'm sure your dress is fabulous, and emerald jewelry sounds beautiful.
                                 Anniversary
    imageimageimage


     

  • I found it really helpful, once we'd made decisions about things, not to look at other options so I wouldn't second-guess myself.

    We've picked centrepieces? OK, then, I don't have to look at them anymore. We picked colours? Yep, we're good. We picked flowers? Done.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • I found it really helpful, once we'd made decisions about things, not to look at other options so I wouldn't second-guess myself.

    We've picked centrepieces? OK, then, I don't have to look at them anymore. We picked colours? Yep, we're good. We picked flowers? Done.
    I believe in this method wholeheartedly.  I don't look at pictures of dresses anymore.  I have a dress, task done.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • FWIW I think emerald jewelry looks stunning with a wedding dress, and a dress that looks pretty on TV might look totally different in person. Take a deep breath and remember how much you loved your dress when you tried it on. You'll look great, don't over-analyze it.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker



  • I found it really helpful, once we'd made decisions about things, not to look at other options so I wouldn't second-guess myself.

    We've picked centrepieces? OK, then, I don't have to look at them anymore. We picked colours? Yep, we're good. We picked flowers? Done.
    YES, THIS!

    It was made easier that we lived on a small island 1800 miles way from the wedding location.     I found wedding planning to be pretty easy because I made a choice and then moved on to the next item.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Look at it this way - you're not looking at alternate options of FI, are you? Nope. So don't look at other dresses/jewelry/centerpieces/etc. either. Just STOP. You've made a commitment. There's no "THE one perfect _____" that you'll ever find. You loved it when you chose it, so now it's yours and you're done. :)

    image
    image
  • cupcait927cupcait927 member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2014

    Oh date twin. No need to second guess yourself! Your dress is absolutely gorgeous and the jewelry you picked out is fabulous. The emerald is going to look so pretty. I know how easy it is to second guess your decisions because you see everyone else doing something different but you gotta go with your gut. You obviously picked out things for your wedding because YOU loved them, not someone else. There are always going to be other things that you admired but know that you picked things that you loved :)

    As far as a bridal party goes, I am SO thankful I don't have to wrangle a bunch of people on my wedding day. Everyone you love will still be there as guests and able to celebrate with you and your new husband.

    Now - no more Four Weddings! I love that show but I'm convinced that it and SYTTD are the devil when planning a wedding (just ask my FI how many times I've changed my mind about things since we got engaged...)

     

    ETA - apparently I don't want to use the whole alphabet today.

  • ckel24 said:

    Oh date twin. No need to second guess yourself! Your dress is absolutely gorgeous and the jewery you picked out is fabulous. The emerald is going to look so pretty. I know how easy it is to second guess your decisions because you see everyone else doing something different but you gotta go with your gut. You obviously picked out things for your wedding because YOU loved them, not someone else. There are always going to be other things that you admired but know that you picked things that you loved :)

    As far as a bridal party goes, I am SO thankful I don't have to wrangle a bunch of people on my wedding day. Everyone you love will still be there as guests and able to celebrate with you and your new husband.

    Now - no more Four Weddings! I love that show but I'm convined that it and SYTTD are the devil when planning a wedding (just ask my FI how many times I've changed my mind about things since we got engaged...)

    I get so sucked in! I'm going to have to ban myself, date twin. 
  • Same as PP once I picked out my stuff I deleted all others from my Pinterest so that I wouldn't even cross by them.

                                                                     

    image

  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I've stopped watching wedding shows. It's too easy to second guess everything.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
  • FI suggested we cancel the cable while we're wrangling our pennies... I was flabbergasted at the thought of missing out on Mad Men at first (and Red Wings playoffs! but they're about to lose anyway) but I think it might be a good way of keeping me away from 4W and SYTTD. 

    We should all just stick with Swamp People.

    image
    image
  • FI suggested we cancel the cable while we're wrangling our pennies... I was flabbergasted at the thought of missing out on Mad Men at first (and Red Wings playoffs! but they're about to lose anyway) but I think it might be a good way of keeping me away from 4W and SYTTD. 

    We should all just stick with Swamp People.
    I am planning on turning off cable at the end of April. I wanted to wait until hockey is over.
  • FI and I are missing out on so much baseball without our cable :( I think that and my wedding shows are the only things I miss. FI can download pretty much anything we want to watch or we can stream it online but he can't find me SYTTD. We will probably justify our trips to the bar this summer to watch baseball lol.
  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    ckel24 said:
    FI and I are missing out on so much baseball without our cable :( I think that and my wedding shows are the only things I miss. FI can download pretty much anything we want to watch or we can stream it online but he can't find me SYTTD. We will probably justify our trips to the bar this summer to watch baseball lol.
    That's the only reason I miss having cable: Baseball. WHY WON'T MLB.TV OR NESN SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
  • Cancel the cable? Perish the thought! I need my Discovery, History, and ESPN!
  • Cancel the cable? Perish the thought! I need my Discovery, History, and ESPN!
    Exactly- no BBCA or HBO? I don't think so...
  • Cancel the cable? Perish the thought! I need my Discovery, History, and ESPN!
    same here.








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Cancel the cable? Perish the thought! I need my Discovery, History, and ESPN!

    This. I also couldn't give up the syfy channel... Yeah I'm a nerd.
  • Cancel the cable? Perish the thought! I need my Discovery, History, and ESPN!
    I know, craziness. I generally keep it on HGTV (or TLC on Fridays when he's not home. Bride Day!) and he would watch ESPN 24/7 if he could. It's usually a mindless noisemaker. 

    I could totally live without baseball on TV. Snooze. Gimme a live game any day but I just can't do it on TV.

    image
    image
  • I couldn't live without HGTV. 
  • I found it really helpful, once we'd made decisions about things, not to look at other options so I wouldn't second-guess myself.

    We've picked centrepieces? OK, then, I don't have to look at them anymore. We picked colours? Yep, we're good. We picked flowers? Done.
    I believe in this method wholeheartedly.  I don't look at pictures of dresses anymore.  I have a dress, task done.
    Ditto
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

  • I've gone through the same thing... and without any outside images to assist the chaos.  I love my dress.  But a couple months after I bought it, I started thinking about another dress I had previously tried on that had a layer of sparkly beaded lace under the top layer of organza.  It added a really subtle sparkle to the dress that was really pretty.  So, then I started thinking that maybe I could add that onto my dress, which is also organza.  I was stuck on that one for about a month trying to decide if it would be worth it... I ended up deciding my dress was beautiful without spending that extra money. 

    And now, I'm second guessing my choice of belt/sash for my dress. It came with a white beaded sash.  But, I decided I wanted to do a pop of color and bought a long blue sash that matches BM dress color.  I like it, but the blue needs some sparkle to it, so now we are taking the beaded sash that originally came with the dress and putting the beading over the blue sash. But, the last couple days I've started wondering if I should just go with the original beaded sash and not do the blue, even though I really like the blue.  I'm driving myself crazy!

    And for jewelry I decided on a gorgeous sapphire jewelry set, after searching for a couple months and actually purchasing 2 other sets before buying on this one. Then the other day, FI was flipping channels and saw tanzanite gem stones on jewelry tv for a decent price.  He knows that I absolutely LOVE tanzanite.  I actually looked at some tanzanite sets for wedding jewelry, but all the ones I liked were more than I wanted to spend.  So, I guess he jumped up and bought some tanzanite.  He bought a larger stone for necklace and two smaller ones for earrings, so I could have a set. And he actually bought me two sets, one set in oval cut and one trillion cut.  So, that way we can determine which has better quality or we like better. Then we may or may not return the other set (if they are both good quality, we will probably keep both). I've bought from them before (it was many years ago though) and had some purchases that were really great quality and some not so great, so we are waiting until they arrive before we get too excited. But, assuming we are happy with the purchase, that creates SO MANY more options that I need to consider for my jewelry now, especially since its just the loose stones and I can pick any setting for it... and I have 2 gem shapes to choose from.  I still really like the sapphire set I bought too, but he seems pretty excited about wanting me to wear the tanzanite and it basically being my wedding gift. I'm fine with that, but I just need to find the right settings now.  After months of stressing over jewelry choice, I thought I was finally done with that one. Nope, not even close. 

    And it's hard to completely avoid seeing other dresses, jewelry, decorations, whatever.  Even if you aren't searching it out, it's still out there to see everywhere. I'm finding that it's best to just give up, tell myself the decision is made, and force myself to not even consider other options. If I see something else I like, I tell myself, "yeah, it's pretty, but I've already decided on that" and move on.  But, I know that is hard to do sometimes too.

    image 

  • I couldn't live without HGTV. 

    HGTV can lead to a whole other set of problems. I start thinking I can do things like refinish floors and rewire lighting fixtures.
  • I couldn't live without HGTV. 

    HGTV can lead to a whole other set of problems. I start thinking I can do things like refinish floors and rewire lighting fixtures.
    Ha! Very true!! 
  • I couldn't live without HGTV. 

    HGTV can lead to a whole other set of problems. I start thinking I can do things like refinish floors and rewire lighting fixtures.
    Try getting all those ideas when you have an Architect and an electrician in the house. It can get very dangerous.

    image 

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards