Chit Chat

A wedding whine...

So I really hate to be all "woe is me" about my wedding, but FI is out of town and I don't really want to complain to him about this anyway.  Feel free to judge, I know that many, many have worse situations than me, but I just kind of broke down today.  Long story short, I have no family outside of my parents and brother who live in the same state as myself, both sides of the family are in the mid-west while we are on the west coast.  I knew deep down that it would be very hard for my grandparents to fly out for the wedding, but I had hope.  

Even though invites haven't gone out yet, my maternal grandparents called last week and confirmed they could not come out. It hurt but they both have poor health and can not travel all that way.  Today my paternal grandmother called to chat and admitted they wouldn't be coming either.  I know neither one of my paternal grandparents like to travel, and flying is expensive, so I didn't take it personally.  I was in tears before we even hung up, and I really hope she couldn't tell, but it just sucks to not have any family there. Through this whole process my venue coordinator (not my wonderful DOC) and many others have said, "but FI's family will be your family now, it doesn't matter!" and suggested those "choose a seat not a side" signs (thank you, pinterest) while I just want to yell that it does matter to me and I hate those signs.

I feel so stupid and guilty for getting upset about this, so like I said, feel free to judge.  FI's father passed away about 10 years ago and I know he's sad he wont have his father there, so that makes me feel even more guilty because at least my parents will be there. 

End whine.
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Re: A wedding whine...

  • you don't have to feel bad about being sad about this. There is nothing wrong with being sad! It sucks to not have the people that you care most about with you on the day that you marry the person you will spend the rest of your life with. I am also coming to grips with the fact that both of my grandmothers passed last year and will not be at my wedding. It's really hard. Then we just found out that my fiance's grandparents will not be able to make the trip because of his grandmothers health. He is heartbroken (he wont say it, but I can tell). You did what you had to do and told your grandparents you understood, and your big day will go on as planned.....but that doesnt make it any less hard. You are allowed to be sad!
  • Awwww, I'm sorry. I know it's disappointing, and it's ok to feel sad. Internet hugs to you!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • It's ok to be sad that family can't be there. Is there any way you can Skype them in or use a webcam or something?
  • UMM just because you are getting into FI's family doesn't mean that your own family stops mattering. Throat punch whoever said that. You are totally fine for being sad, and kudos for trying not to make the grandparents feel bad as well. I think you could try to skype it! At the very least get a videographer, and then you can watch the video with them. 
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  • I'm so sorry. Of course that sucks, and you're totally allowed to feel that way. And yeah, your FI's family will become yours, but that doesn't mean it's not reasonable for you to be sad about missing your family, too.

    (((HUGS)))
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • Hugs to you! I feel the same I have extended family that is not near my home state and no one but my immediate family from my side will be attending in terms of family and is sucks.  I also have no more grand parents either.  

    Anniversary

  • Thanks ladies, I appreciate the support! I'm glad to know I'm not being selfish for whining about this. I've always known I'd have a small amount of family attending my wedding someday, but with less than 2 months to go the reality has sunk in. 
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  • Aww I'm sorry. It's totally fine to be sad about this. Sending you lots of hugs.
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  • Planning when you have long distance friends and family just plain sucks. No matter what, you lose people on one side or the other and you just can't win. I'm in the same boat (I'm in the midwest but everyone else is on the west coast) and I know it really is a huge bummer, no matter how awesome your "new family" is. Hugs. 
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