Yesterday, at my bridal shower, I became really upset with my mother. She showed up an hour late to my party. I told my sister to just serve the guests their food, and not wait for our mother, because her rudeness should not make my sister be rude to the other guests at the party. (Apparently, my mother thought I should put the shower on hold while she was that incredibly late.) Then she got all mad because I was talking to my step-mom and my step-mother's friends, instead of hanging out with her. (My mother has CRIPPLING jealousy over my step-mother.) I was floating around the party, talking to every one of my guests, and every time I looked for my mom, she was outside having a cigarette. Then she just stayed outside for 45 minutes, I am guessing to pout. I was so throroughly upset by it all.
When my wedding comes, I will have to mingle with ALL of my guests. I don't have time to worry about my mother thinking I only spent so many minutes with her, and it was because I was talking to my step-mother and my step-mom took that time away from her. If she wanted to be promoted as the mother of the bride, she should have showed up on time, so I could make introductions. I did, but at the time, the guests were not all together). I also had no shower games (loved that about my shower!) so my shower was very short. When she showed up late, then pouted for 45 minutes, she only spent 20 minutes inside.
I am wondering if I should mention something to her? Is she going to be that late for my wedding? Is she going to pout or cause a scene at my wedding because she would rather be bitter at my step-mom than be happy for me and my future husband? It's like she is so jealous and would rather bitch about my step-mom than take the time to be a mom with me. I just don't have time for these games.
For the past 2 months, I have been working on getting my mother's name changed so she does not have to keep the name of her abusive deceased second husband. I have been planning a wedding and at the same time, picking her up and going downtown, several times, to get her application processed. I was paying for it as well. I go above and beyond for her. She asked me, for two weeks, where I was registered... it is on the shower invite, but I told her anyway. She spends so much time doing things for my derelict younger sister, and my selfish older sister, that she did not have time to get me anything, and just gave me a gift card. It just makes me feel like I rank nowhere on her list.
The day before the shower, my mother mentioned that she may have to bring the daughter of my estranged sister to the shower because she agreed to babysit on the day of my shower. If I don't get along with someone, I don't want their children at my house. (Liability issues, cops being called, drama in general that I would like to avoid.) It seems like I can do so much for her, and she is the reason she is late,but will blame my step-mom because people are not recognizing her. She acted like the whole party should have been centered around her arrival. Will she expect me not to walk down the aisle because she is an hour late to the ceremony, and wait for her? Would you have a come to Jesus talk or would you let this go? I no longer have a relationship with my father, I don't want to lose a mother, too, but I am sick of being in a custody arrangement long after the bullshit of my childhood ended.