The most special of all the snowflakes (Vent)

Aray82

When this situation appeared in my inbox, I immediately thought of the "special snowflake" term I learned from you ladies

I teach at a large university with a strong athletic program. I know the demands these kids are under and I'm happy to work with them when things become tough--as I work will all of my students when life happens and certain circumstances come up. But the thing is, they have to work with me as well: staying on top of their assignments and attendance, and letting me know when issues come up that prevent an assignment deadline from being met or hinder their ability to meet the mandatory attendance requirements. When someone, say, hasn't been in class since spring break, misses most of the in-class reading quizzes, and hasn't turned in any assignments since the very first paper of the semester...it becomes much, much harder to work with this person. Impossible, really. And when they don't contact me at all, even when I email them to say, "Hey, what's up? Are you dropping the class?" and I get no response for two weeks, I just assume they're planning on dropping. 

This was the situation with one of my student athletes this semester. I finally requested the registrar drop him today (you can't just drop athletes like other students), and got emails from both his adviser and from him. Turns out, he thought he didn't need this class anymore to graduate and then he suddenly found out that he did (??) His adviser, I know, is just doing his job, and he told me that he "knows the student put himself in this situation" (yes indeed!). But the adviser still asked "if there was anything he could do to get back on track to graduate."

Oh, and did I mention the semester ends NEXT WEEK? I told the adviser that I was really sorry, but at this point there was really nothing I could do to make up for everything this student missed since early March. I reminded him that I was able to work with his other students in the past when they were proactive and stayed in touch, but in this case the student did absolutely nothing until now.

Please tell me I'm not being unreasonable here. I'm not, am I?

erinlin25

ew that would for sure irritate me! I use to coach HS and it would drive me crazy when the kids would not do their work, get bad grades and then try to play "the teacher is so mean/sucks/doesn't teach, etc).  I would usually discover they just did not go to class or do their work so would not feel bad for putting them on probation or taking them off the team.  Sounds like your student is in college?  That would irritate me more!  I am all for helping the kids through a rough patch and being as helpful as possible when they actually make the effort, but to wait until the end of the semester!?  I do not think you are being unreasonable at all-- When are kids going to learn that in the real world you need to be responsible and do your JOB, or you get fired!?  I'm over it  

thisismynickname2

I work in higher Ed too. You are not being unreasonable at all! Stick to your guns. Students cannot be coddled.

AuroraRose41

How much of the final grade are the attendance and in-class quizzes worth? Because if the student has any chance of passing with making up the missed assignments and doing well on the final, then I think preventing him from graduating over one class is fairly harsh.

However, I understand that it would put a lot of extra work on you that you probably do not want to do so close to needing to have final grades due. I'm not sure whether or not this is against your university's policy, but are you able to ask the advisor or other professors how this student does in other classes? Would it be beneficial for this student to stay and retake other courses too, or was it an honest mistake and the student normally would have been passing with flying colors? I think those are the most important questions to ask in this situation, because then it shows that you are at least still trying to be accomodating if it truly was an honest mistake.

However, you definitely have the final say here, and if you don't feel like doing that extra work to grade these missed assignments in so little time (if the student has any chance of passing still), then I think that your reaction is justified. Then again, when I was a TA (who also had a hand in making decisions like this in addition to the professor for the freshmen students), I tried to be as lenient as possible within reason. If he slacks off a lot in other courses too (which many of the student athletes at my university did), then I wouldn't feel bad at all saving yourself the hassle!

ETA: When I say missed assignments, I only meant homework. I understand that in-class quizzes and attendance are not feasible to make up.

HisGirlFriday13

I think you're being more than reasonable. The kid didn't respond to your email, which is just common courtesy, let alone do his homework (pun intended) to find out what he needed to graduate.

Aray82

Thanks for confirming that I'm not the crazy one. Actually, I just heard back from the adviser and he was stunned that the student hadn't been coming to class or turning in work--because the student had given him a very different story! I feel better now for getting that off my chest

AuroraRose41

Actually I take back my previous statement since the student lied to the advisor over the situation. That's where I tend to draw the line with leniency, because normally that's when students try to save their butts after realizing that the rules still do apply to them. Being a student athlete does not make you a deity on your campus where you can get away with anything.

Weesh

I teach high school English.  Students will e-mail me with a question, and then tell me that they didn't check the response when they come in the next day and ask me the very same question.  Usually they won't e-mail me or check Google Docs when they've been out for several days, and then walk in and expect me to stop what I'm doing to figure out what they owe.  Last week, I had a student approach me in the middle of class while they were doing independent work to tell her what she owed. 

You are not being harsh or crazy.  Sometimes, students need to learn hard lessons.  I missed a final in college because of poor planning.  I did not get to make up the final, failed the class, and had to re-take it.  I never missed a final again, and never failed another class.  I wish kids could/would/were allowed to learn this lesson earlier sometimes.  Our middle school often moves kids along who've failed English for several years, and then they don't understand why they can't move to tenth grade when they can barely string a sentence together and don't realize that they need to capitalize their name.

KatWAG

As a former college athlete, stuff like this drives me nuts. You are a student first, then an athlete. 

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. 

HaileyDancingbear

I don't think you were too tough at all.  You work at a university, not grade school.  Your students are adults who are responsible for their own lives and decisions.  It is not your job to babysit them.  

This student got careless, and it's biting them in the butt.  That is their problem entirely to sort out, as you have been doing your job.  If this student wants to go to a grown up school, they need to act like a grown up and deal with the consequences of their own actions.  

Rebl90

As a college student whose grade was jeopardized by a college athlete last week (I was paired up with a guy who plays water polo for a group project), I say that you were completely in the right.  Yes, athletes have a lot of work to do, but that is their choice if they want to stay in school and compete.  My "partner" stopped coming to class, didn't return e-mails or texts and I turned in the work without him, with approval from the professor.  I have to work hard to stay in school too (academic scholarship), and you better believe that I treat my studies as important as most athletes teat their sports. 

So from non-athletic students everywhere, thank you.

Aray82

Rebl90 said:

As a college student whose grade was jeopardized by a college athlete last week (I was paired up with a guy who plays water polo for a group project), I say that you were completely in the right.  Yes, athletes have a lot of work to do, but that is their choice if they want to stay in school and compete.  My "partner" stopped coming to class, didn't return e-mails or texts and I turned in the work without him, with approval from the professor.  I have to work hard to stay in school too (academic scholarship), and you better believe that I treat my studies as important as most athletes teat their sports. 

So from non-athletic students everywhere, thank you.

Oh gosh group work's a tough one! We're required to do it with our students but I also hated it when I was a student for the very reasons you describe. I have them collaborate on reaserch together and then do some kind of research progress report for a smaller grade, but then grade them individually for writing and putting together their own versions of the bigger project. I also have a policy that they can "fire" a group member at any time if they write an explanatory memo stating exactly why and I hear both sides of the story. But yeah, I never make a large-stakes assignment into a group project if I can help it.

Aray82

Weesh said:

I teach high school English.  Students will e-mail me with a question, and then tell me that they didn't check the response when they come in the next day and ask me the very same question.  Usually they won't e-mail me or check Google Docs when they've been out for several days, and then walk in and expect me to stop what I'm doing to figure out what they owe.  Last week, I had a student approach me in the middle of class while they were doing independent work to tell her what she owed. 

You are not being harsh or crazy.  Sometimes, students need to learn hard lessons.  I missed a final in college because of poor planning.  I did not get to make up the final, failed the class, and had to re-take it.  I never missed a final again, and never failed another class.  I wish kids could/would/were allowed to learn this lesson earlier sometimes.  Our middle school often moves kids along who've failed English for several years, and then they don't understand why they can't move to tenth grade when they can barely string a sentence together and don't realize that they need to capitalize their name.

Do you get the "I won't be in class tomorrow, let me know if I miss anything" emails too?

Aray82

AuroraRose41 said:

Actually I take back my previous statement since the student lied to the advisor over the situation. That's where I tend to draw the line with leniency, because normally that's when students try to save their butts after realizing that the rules still do apply to them. Being a student athlete does not make you a deity on your campus where you can get away with anything.

.

AuroraRose41 said:

How much of the final grades sp;are the attendance and in-class quizzes worth? Because if the student has any chance of passing with making up the missed assignments and doing well on the final, then I think preventing him from graduating over one class is fairly harsh.

However, I understand that it would put a lot of extra work on you that you probably do not want to do so close to needing to have final grades due. I'm not sure whether or not this is against your university's policy, but are you able to ask the advisor or other professors how this student does in other classes? Would it be beneficial for this student to stay and retake other courses too, or was it an honest mistake and the student normally would have been passing with flying colors? I think those are the most important questions to ask in this situation, because then it shows that you are at least still trying to be accomodating if it truly was an honest mistake.

However, you definitely have the final say here, and if you don't feel like doing that extra work to grade these missed assignments in so little time (if the student has any chance of passing still), then I think that your reaction is justified. Then again, when I was a TA (who also had a hand in making decisions like this in addition to the professor for the freshmen students), I tried to be as lenient as possible within reason. If he slacks off a lot in other courses too (which many of the student athletes at my university did), then I wouldn't feel bad at all saving yourself the hassle!

ETA: When I say missed assignments, I only meant homework. I understand that in-class quizzes and attendance are not feasible to make up.

Yeah, he also missed the midterm and just didn't bother responding to my email. And apparently lying to his adviser. I'm usually more than willing to work with folks but this on top of the fact that I'm starting chemo treatments this Friday means that extra work will absolutely not be happening. Not so much :P

bethsmiles

I teach at a university too and you are not being unreasonable at all. I always try to work with my students who are having rough semesters, it happens to everyone but if they are trying their best I'm willing to be more flexible to get them through the semester.

But a student who just decided my class wasn't worth his time because he thought he didn't need it to graduate? Nope, tough luck kid. I can't stand students who are in my class and obviously place no value on the education they are getting.

Don't take on extra work for this student. I'm sure you don't need the extra stress.

AuroraRose41

@Aray82 then you are being completely reasonable. I understand not responding to your emails if it was an honest mistake, but lying about it and missing the midterm are going too far. And with your upcoming treatments, I think you are completely justified in not doing extra work for a student who can't pass anyways.

Good luck with those treatments, btw.