Plus ones for single guests--is it all or nothing?

downtondiva

I just got engaged a couple of weeks ago, and FI and I are working on figuring out a guest list, how many people we can invite (AND host properly). Even though it's a ways away, I have a question about "plus ones" that might help me figure things out more easily down the road.

I know that you're not obligated to invite "truly single" people with a guest, but is it okay to invite some with a plus one and not others? For example, is it okay to invite a truly single person with a plus one if they're traveling a distance to the wedding and/or don't know anyone else who's attending, but not give somebody a plus one if they are fairly local and/or will know a lot of other people there? 

I look forward to your thoughts.

mschristie123

From the very beginning we gave everyone a plus one, "truly single" or not. I think this helps because you have to remember to give plus ones to everyone that is in a relationship when the invites go out. So airing on the side of caution means you'll be prepared to host those plus ones properly if you guests couple up between now and then.

HisGirlFriday13

Yes.

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1016851/who-do-i-have-to-invite-to-my-wedding-a-guide#latest

You may Invite people who are TRULY SINGLE with guests at your discretion.

JaxInBlue

In my opinion, the examples you gave of distance and familiarity with the guest list are some of the more logical/ "enforceable" ways to decide who gets a plus one.  It can be harder when your cut offs are more arbitrary, such as you don't generally like who X dates, but Y always brings someone fun.

I think for planning, though, it's best to account for a plus one for every truly single guest, since it's a person's relationship status when the invites go out that determines if they are truly single or not.  It's always easier to realize you planned for more +1s than you need than to be struggling to find places for significant others because there was a burst of status changes between your initial planning and the day the invites go in the mail.

phira

For planning purposes, we suggest (like previous posters have mentioned) giving everyone a plus one. You'd be surprised how many new relationships have started in the 6 months we've been engaged (and we're only halfway to the wedding). 

It actually looks like almost everyone on our guest list will be invited with a plus one if they're single, but when we were originally planning, we weren't sure if that would be possible. And a lot of people we weren't going to offer plus ones to are in relationships now.

huskypuppy14

We gave everyone a plus one (and all SO were invited by name). It made our final number of invited seem large, but a lot of those people were "phantom" guests, because they didn't exist. So far, not one person who is single has written in a guest. So we are going to have much less people than we anticipated (not that I'm complaining  

theartistformerlyknownas

Yep. We're planning/budgeting for plus ones for all singles just in case, but will likely only extend it to those traveling if they're still truly single when the invitations go out.

downtondiva

I'm glad I asked! Thanks so much for the great advice!