Uggh! I told my step-mom that I was worried about inviting her sister (my aunt) to the wedding. I am trying to have a kid free wedding (there are a couple of exceptions), and she told my step-mom that her husband can't come and she would invite her child, instead. My aunt is a jehovah's witness, so we are not really close as she does not really get together over the holidays (when most of the family can come together). Plus her constant judgement and trying to convert people always puts a strain on family time.) My cousin is 16, but she is special needs, she is such a sweetheart, but I feel my wedding is going to be too much for my aunt's teachings on her child. She strictly monitors her tv shows (she is not allowed to watch some disney movies).
My FI has some friends that make terribly sexually explicit gestures and shout the most terrible things at weddings. To them, a wedding is the extension of a bachelor party and just another day to drink with reckless abandon. I feel if my aunt sees this behavior in front of her child, she would be so horribly offended and would be mad at me. (Which is why I did not want to deal with it, and just wanted an adult reception).
I have tried to nudge the idea into my FI's friends heads just how conservative my family is. Nothing blatant or rude. They just say, "I bet your wedding is going to be totally crazy." I say, it won't be too crazy, my family will be there... but the bachelorette party will be crazy. I think that is the way to guide them into what I expect. These people will do what they will do, however. I cannot control them. It stinks, though, when my aunt is forcing me to handle a situation i thought I dealt with, because she is inviting someone who isn't invited. Not to mention it puts me in a terrible position with FI, because I was adamant that his cousins under 18 not attend because that would be 35 extra people on our, all ready, stretched guest list.
My step-mom asked me what to say to aunt. I told her I could talk to her, and I promise I would be extremely gracious and polite. I would just say, I am sorry that the invitation was actually for her and her husband, and because of certain issues, we are not able to host anyone that is not on the invitation. My step-mom and fi think I should put "Adult reception" on the invitations. Um... no. FI even told me it wasn't a breach of etiquette because he read that on The Knot. Wrong again. Is my wording to my aunt okay when I talk to her, or is there a better way to word this that won't invite questions?