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The "no's" just keep coming...

I will preface this by saying that I know that I'm being dumb and probably a little insecure, but I just need to take a moment to just be kinda sad.

So, I come from a really large Lebanese extended family. I grew up going to family weddings of my dad's cousins all the time (my dad has probably 25 first cousins). We don't see each other all time, but big family events like Christmas, weddings, funerals- everyone is there. I always imagined and wanted my wedding to be a great big family affair. Our guest list was 326, but we had always planned around 225-250 (We could have accommodated and budgeted for all 326, but we just kind of figured we'd come in closer to 225). Anyway, this is the last week for RSVPs to be mailed in, and I'm just really surprised and saddened by the number of No's that we've gotten. Of course I know that it's a destination for a lot of OOT friends and family, weddings are expensive, people have priorities, etc, etc. But I guess I'm just really bummed by the number of people that can't come. At this point, I don't think we'll have even 200 people.

Which is fine....I know we can upgrade the bar and meal packages to meet the venue minimums. I'm just sad that so many people that I care about won't be able to make it. The whole thing has really gotten my mood down. I'm very touched by the number of people coming in from OOS to be there, and the number of our friends driving 4 hours to my hometown where the wedding will be. So among all the no's, there's a ton of hugely generous and excited people ready to witness our marriage. I should be focused on that, but it still kinda stinks.
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Re: The "no's" just keep coming...

  • I think it's normal to feel how you're feeling. Everyone that I'm inviting, I'm inviting them because I WANT them to be there. Even 1 no would still make me a little sad.
  • Aww, I also think it is a normal way to feel. I guess, just let yourself be sad for a bit, but then start focusing on the positive and on the guests that will be there. I'm sure everyone would love to attend, but unfortunately that is not always the case. Focus on having the best party for the guests that are able to make it :)
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I had a lot of family and friends who opted not to come.  I get why, it was a pretty far distance for them to travel and it was during the school year so they didn't want to pull kids out of school, but it still made me sad.  Especially when I figured out that a friend from high school had more blood relatives at my wedding than I did.  
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  • LDay2014LDay2014 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2014
    I will preface this by saying that I know that I'm being dumb and probably a little insecure, but I just need to take a moment to just be kinda sad.

    So, I come from a really large Lebanese extended family. I grew up going to family weddings of my dad's cousins all the time (my dad has probably 25 first cousins). We don't see each other all time, but big family events like Christmas, weddings, funerals- everyone is there. I always imagined and wanted my wedding to be a great big family affair. Our guest list was 326, but we had always planned around 225-250 (We could have accommodated and budgeted for all 326, but we just kind of figured we'd come in closer to 225). Anyway, this is the last week for RSVPs to be mailed in, and I'm just really surprised and saddened by the number of No's that we've gotten. Of course I know that it's a destination for a lot of OOT friends and family, weddings are expensive, people have priorities, etc, etc. But I guess I'm just really bummed by the number of people that can't come. At this point, I don't think we'll have even 200 people.

    Which is fine....I know we can upgrade the bar and meal packages to meet the venue minimums. I'm just sad that so many people that I care about won't be able to make it. The whole thing has really gotten my mood down. I'm very touched by the number of people coming in from OOS to be there, and the number of our friends driving 4 hours to my hometown where the wedding will be. So among all the no's, there's a ton of hugely generous and excited people ready to witness our marriage. I should be focused on that, but it still kinda stinks.
    Holy smokes!  You have almost 200 people who want to share in your happiness!  That's amazing!
  • I understand. All of my extended family is in Ohio. I'm in Florida. All of them replied no! Then, even my own brother told me he didn't know if he would be able to make it (he does live in FL), because he wants to make plans to go to his high school reunion. Out of state.
    I'm choosing to focus on my family and friends will will be there to celebrate with me.
  • Thank you all for the advice, and for not thinking that I'm being too crazy! FI just thinks I'm being over-sensitive and keeps trying to talk me out of being sad. I'm like "I know!! I know not everyone can come! Just let be sad for a minute!" Haha, what a jerk...always trying to cheer me up.
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  • Thank you all for the advice, and for not thinking that I'm being too crazy! FI just thinks I'm being over-sensitive and keeps trying to talk me out of being sad. I'm like "I know!! I know not everyone can come! Just let be sad for a minute!" Haha, what a jerk...always trying to cheer me up.
    I can totally relate! When Fi makes me happy when I'm unhappy I get SO MAD at him. Lol.
  • FI is the same way. He just found out yesterday that his aunt and uncle are not coming to our wedding because they are flying in one month earlier to visit with their new grand baby. Grandbaby will be at the wedding.. So Idk why they feel the need to come one month earlier and skip out on him. He feels hurt and left out. I understand wanting to see your grandchild, but you are forgetting your nephew who is having a once in a lifetime event he wanted you to share with him in!

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  • FiancBFiancB member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I feel you. It stinks to have a ton of out of state people you really want to be there. I don't have a big family, but I am losing a couple friends that I would really like to have there. 
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