Does a RB have to be male?

UberBiz

My fiance and I each have a daughter. Depending on when we have the wedding (I know my bio says sept. 2014, but we may potentially have it a year earlier, just can't decide yet), my daughter will be either 8 or 9 years old. She has asked me if she gets to be the flower girl and I said of course, absolutely she gets to be FG.

FI's daughter will be 4 or 5, and so we were going to have both of them be flower girls. We have no young male family members that could be a ring bearer, except for FI's brother's fiancee's son, but they are both pains (the fiancee and her son), and neither of us are keen on having him part of the ceremony.

So, could I have my daughter be the ring bearer, and his daughter the flower girl? I know it's traditional to have a male ring bearer, but I don't really foresee any problem with this arrangement..... ?

theelusive1

No it would not be a problem,  but I do suggest you clear it with the little girl first.   You would not want a war between the girls.

AdeleDazeem

Ask her what she wants to do - ring bearer or flower girl?  If she says flower girl, you have two.  If she says ring bearer, then you have one!  If she says neither, let her be.

You don't have to have a ring bearer.  We didn't have one.  The best man held our rings.

UberBiz

Oh yeah, I know I don't NEED one, but I'd like both girls to be in the ceremony with us, and I'd like a ring bearer, cuz I think it's cute I'll definitely ask her about it first. It may work out for the better, too. The younger one always wants to do exactly what the older one is doing, but the older one is more particular and would rather be independent and not have the younger tag along doing the same thing. I'll definitely be asking her again when we get a little closer to the actual ceremony. Thanks for the input

annieoldfield

Im not sure asking them would matter. Ask a young girl if they want to be a ring bearer or a flower girl and theyre most likely gonna say flower girl because that sounds like a nice thing to be. And i doubt anyone else is going to care about their title. Why not just tell them both theyre flower girls but have your daughter hold the rings too. She doesnt have to be a "ring bearer".

UberBiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_does-a-rb-have-to-be-male?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:3e20e6dc-b271-437a-82a2-edc48e2076fbPost:7e2db0d1-af68-4bf4-9e4f-48d8c1273e85">Re: Does a RB have to be male?</a>:
[QUOTE]Im not sure asking them would matter. Ask a young girl if they want to be a ring bearer or a flower girl and theyre most likely gonna say flower girl because that sounds like a nice thing to be. And i doubt anyone else is going to care about their title. Why not just tell them both theyre flower girls but have your daughter hold the rings too. She doesnt have to be a "ring bearer".
Posted by annieoldfield[/QUOTE]
Point well taken :) I'm sure, though, that she will be happy to have a 'special' job like carrying the rings, no matter what the 'title' is. :)

HobokensFury

Call her a ring girl.

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_does-a-rb-have-to-be-male?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:3e20e6dc-b271-437a-82a2-edc48e2076fbPost:ef7ade3a-879b-4ff0-8c9b-9148dda3dbef">Re: Does a RB have to be male?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ask her what she wants to do - ring bearer or flower girl?  If she says flower girl, you have two.  If she says ring bearer, then you have one!  If she says neither, let her be. <font color="#0000ff">You don't have to have a ring bearer.  We didn't have one.  The best man held our rings.</font>
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

We each had one attendant, no flower girl or ring bearer.  Similar to the above ... The groom's best man held my ring.  My best man held the groom's ring.

naomikb

Sure, one can carry flowers and one can carry the rings. They're old enough to ask them what they'd like to do.

Or both can carry flowers and the best man/groom can carry the rings.  You don't have to have a RB.