Kids at the rehearsal dinner?

nlh85

I'm having a good friend of mine and her husband read in my wedding.  It was something that was kind of decided spur-of-the-moment, and I called and asked her to do it without giving it a ton of thought.  I have zero regret about that, but now I'm worried about the rehearsal dinner because they have four kids.  Is the expectation that everyone who is in the wedding brings their kids with them to the rehearsal dinner?  My brother is bringing his kids, but they're family and they're kind of in the wedding.  These are kids I don't know well and are a little wild, although honestly, that's not a big deal.  The bigger deal is just the sheer number of people, because we're on a really tight budget.  What are the expectations in this situation?

Jen4948

The only expectations are that wedding party members, immediate family members, and SOs have to be invited-there is no rule of etiquette that requires that you invite their children as well unless said children have roles in the ceremony.

NYCMercedes

nlh85 said:

I'm having a good friend of mine and her husband read in my wedding.  It was something that was kind of decided spur-of-the-moment, and I called and asked her to do it without giving it a ton of thought.  I have zero regret about that, but now I'm worried about the rehearsal dinner because they have four kids.  Is the expectation that everyone who is in the wedding brings their kids with them to the rehearsal dinner?  My brother is bringing his kids, but they're family and they're kind of in the wedding.  These are kids I don't know well and are a little wild, although honestly, that's not a big deal.  The bigger deal is just the sheer number of people, because we're on a really tight budget.  What are the expectations in this situation?

Just address the invitation to the parents. That's all you need to invite.

indianaalum

probably not necessary, except will your friend and husband be traveling to the wedding? If so, are the kids invited to the actual wedding? If yes on both, I'd probably be inclined to invite them as they might not have any place to keep the kids. If not traveling and kids aren't invited to the wedding, I don't think you are obligated to invite them

not positive, though. I admit. 

hyechica81

if someone is in your wedding and they go to rehersal its them so and anyone else in the family is invited such as children. thats how it works around where i am from..

i have 7 maids and 4 are coming out of state with family the only way to get to rehersal is with there family so my cousins my aunts uncles and siblings will be there

RebeccaB88

If the kids aren't participating in the ceremony, they don't need to be invited to the rehearsal dinner.

huskypuppy14

If the kids are invited to the wedding, I would invite them for the rehearsal. If you did not invite the children to the wedding, then you don't have to invite them to the rehearsal dinner.  

[Deleted User]

If your reader is local and has a local babysitter, don't invite her kids to the rehearsal dinner even if the kids are invited to the wedding.  Two different events and you have to invite people to the wedding if they're invited to the RD, but not the other way around.

melbenso

The children of our wedding party are invited to the rehearsal dinner (and the wedding).  But everyone in our wedding party is an OOT guest, so having them find babysitters for their kids in a strange town so that they could come to the rehearsal dinner wasn't really an option.

That being said, I don't think it's a requirement that you invite the kids.  But if not inviting them is going to pose a hardship on the parents or make it so that they could not come, I'd strongly consider it if I were you.

nlh85

Thanks, everyone!  They're local, and the kids are invited to the wedding, but they're not in it.  I only invited my friend and her husband, and she didn't miss a beat - RSVP'd (online) instantly and enthusiastically.  It looks like everything is good.

Thank you for the advice!