Seating Chart Question

perdonami

Fiance and I have decided that we are not interested in a head table or a sweetheart table. We are also having a small wedding including 54 guests total. 

Do we have to have a head table/sweetheart table? Does it matter where we sit ourselves? Am I doing too much by developing a seating chart for a small wedding?

beethery

Nope! You can sit wherever you feel like! If you plan seating for your WP, let them sit with their SO's.

ElcaB

You don't have to have an official head or sweetheart table, and if you want a seating chart, make one, regardless of the number of guests. Just don't seat yourselves in the back corner --- people will want to be able to see you. 

[Deleted User]

If you want to go ahead and sit at table with 6 or 8 of your guests at a table just like all the rest, that's completely acceptable.  If you're going to have only 54 chairs, yes you need to assign tables at least because what if a couple of FH's friends end up at the table with your parents and grandparents and have nothing to say to them.  It could be awkward unless you have extra tables.  But you also don't want to have two tables with only 2 people each and two tables with 12 people shoved in because they didn't want to sit alone.

My cousin and his wife sat at a table with two of his groomsmen and their SOs and the MOH and her husband.  The rest of us were at other tables with other cousins and people we knew, so it worked out well.

perdonami

adk19 said:

If you want to go ahead and sit at table with 6 or 8 of your guests at a table just like all the rest, that's completely acceptable.  If you're going to have only 54 chairs, yes you need to assign tables at least because what if a couple of FH's friends end up at the table with your parents and grandparents and have nothing to say to them.  It could be awkward unless you have extra tables.  But you also don't want to have two tables with only 2 people each and two tables with 12 people shoved in because they didn't want to sit alone.

My cousin and his wife sat at a table with two of his groomsmen and their SOs and the MOH and her husband.  The rest of us were at other tables with other cousins and people we knew, so it worked out well.

Okay, just wanted to make sure it wasn't overkill to make a seating chart. Just want it to be easy for our guests to find a seat and be comfortable during dinner. 

Also, glad to know we don't have to sit at a head table of some kind. Just have figure out what won't appear as rude where we sit ourselves since my family has such a strange dynamic. I'd like us to sit with FI's parents and not my father and aunt but I think that would cause too much of a shit storm. 

Jen4948

There is no requirement that you have a sweetheart table-that's your own choice. But I would assign tables so your guests don't have to walk around looking for places to sit or be asked to move so other people can sit together. That's the real objection I have to unassigned seating.

perdonami

Jen4948 said:

There is no requirement that you have a sweetheart table-that's your own choice. But I would assign tables so your guests don't have to walk around looking for places to sit or be asked to move so other people can sit together. That's the real objection I have to unassigned seating.

That was my concern as well. 

melbenso

FI and I are having a King's Table for us, our wedding party, and their guests (including children). But our reception will have a little more than twice your guests.

For the wedding we will be attending this weekend, the bride and groom will be sitting at a table with both sets of their parents and assigning all other guests (including the wedding party) tables based on who they know/would get along with. Something like this might work for you.

EDT: For some reason, TK won't let me put paragraphs in, even on an edit. Grrr...
EDT2: That's better.

perdonami

melbenso said:

For the wedding we will be attending this weekend, the bride and groom will be sitting at a table with both sets of their parents and assigning all other guests (including the wedding party) tables based on who they know/would get along with. Something like this might work for you.

Yeah, you offer a great suggestion, I just don't want to sit at a table with my aunt and father. I have strained relationships with them and would rather not invite the aunt (she has done some heinous deal breakers) but am going to take the high road. 

Maybe FI and I will have a head table as it will be a good excuse to not have to sit myself with my father and aunt. I can invite them to the wedding but I just don't want to sit with them. 

ETA:

Geez, I sound bratty! 

HisGirlFriday13

perdonami said:

melbenso said:

For the wedding we will be attending this weekend, the bride and groom will be sitting at a table with both sets of their parents and assigning all other guests (including the wedding party) tables based on who they know/would get along with. Something like this might work for you.

Yeah, you offer a great suggestion, I just don't want to sit at a table with my aunt and father. I have strained relationships with them and would rather not invite the aunt (she has done some heinous deal breakers) but am going to take the high road. 

Maybe FI and I will have a head table as it will be a good excuse to not have to sit myself with my father and aunt. I can invite them to the wedding but I just don't want to sit with them. 

ETA:

Geez, I sound bratty! 

Why are you inviting your father at all?

perdonami

HisGirlFriday13 Because I have made peace with the decisions he has made in his life. I don't hate him and I already explained to him that I won't be participating in any of the father/daughter traditions. He understood and has never once pushed the issue. 

Its my aunt and brother who don't seem to understand or respect my feelings on the matter. FI has come around to see my point of view. 

Not to mention the subsequent drama is just not worth it. 

melbenso

perdonami said:

melbenso said:

For the wedding we will be attending this weekend, the bride and groom will be sitting at a table with both sets of their parents and assigning all other guests (including the wedding party) tables based on who they know/would get along with. Something like this might work for you.

Yeah, you offer a great suggestion, I just don't want to sit at a table with my aunt and father. I have strained relationships with them and would rather not invite the aunt (she has done some heinous deal breakers) but am going to take the high road. 

Maybe FI and I will have a head table as it will be a good excuse to not have to sit myself with my father and aunt. I can invite them to the wedding but I just don't want to sit with them. 

ETA:

Geez, I sound bratty! 

It doesn't have to be your parents.  It could be each of your siblings or best friends or the two or three people each of you is closest to.