Wedding Etiquette Forum

Help - Shower Date?

InkdancerInkdancer member
First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
edited May 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Some of you may remember a previous rant of mine about a family vacation that my FMIL planned. For those who don't, here's the deal: FMIL planned for a bunch of us to go to the beach over 4th of July weekend. She didn't ask FI and I for budget/ timing. I was super ticked. FPILs ended up paying entirely for our portion of the beach house, so I sucked it up and got over it.

Recently, I found out that FSIL wants to have a shower for us while the family is at the beach. I think it's kind of rude to make everyone at the vacation come to a gift-giving party but apparently it was a family idea and "everyone is excited". So.... eh, not sure how to handle that.

But now another wrench has been thrown into the situation. I lost my job recently. I am looking for a new one. If I start anytime in the next few weeks, I'm going to have to negotiate just to get vacation for my honeymoon. I sure as heck won't have vacation for the week of July 4th. So I might not even be able to go to the beach at all, except for the actual day of the 4th and the weekend immediately following. She's currently planning the shower for Wednesday night--if I can come, it's likely I won't be there by Wednesday.

How should I handle this with FSIL? She's about ready to send out e-vites, and I don't want to invite people to a shower I can't even attend.
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Re: Help - Shower Date?

  • I would just be honest and decline the shower.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • Agree. I would just be honest and say, 'You know, with all the uncertainty in my life right now, I just can't commit to something like that. I'm really sorry. I think it would be best if we just don't have a shower, thanks for understanding.'

    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • If your FI can still go, and they really want to throw a shower, then they could tweak the shower to suit him. He's getting married too. 
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