Wedding Etiquette Forum

Wedding gift if not attending?

So an old friend of mine is getting married June 20th but FI and I declined. We were very obviously B-listed to this wedding and I haven't spoken to this friend in over a year, he hasn't met our twins yet (and they're 16 months old now), etc. So not exactly close anymore but we used to be very good friends. Should I still send a gift after their wedding? I was a little upset at the B listing but I wouldn't want to be rude or inconsiderate to him or his fiancée. Moneys a bit tight as our wedding is approaching so what would be an appropriate amount?

Re: Wedding gift if not attending?

  • I would personally just send a congratulatory card and call it a day.

    TeddiD34melbelleup
  • If money is tight, I would just go with a small boxed gift. This seems like the perfect time for a decorative picture frame or something like that.

    Or, if you're really not close and don't see that changing, skip it or send a letter of congratulations.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I wouldn't send anything, it sounds like your relationship has fizzled. 
    TeddiD34
  • I wouldn't send anything, except maybe a card congratulating them. We received a few gifts from people who couldn't attend, but they were from people we were close to. I wouldn't have been offended if I didn't receive anything from any non-attendees, so I doubt they'll be upset.
  • Etiquette-wise, you don't owe a gift at all, so don't worry about it. 

    What does your gut tell you about a gift? Perhaps find their registry and find something inexpensive.  If you can't be bothered, a heartfelt card is perfectly appropriate. There is no appropriate amount, ever, in gifting. Do what you can afford, if you are so inclined. 

    ^^^ Perfect advice.
    [Deleted User]
  • Personally, I only send gifts when I can't attend a wedding if it is someone I am close to.  If it is a friend that I hadn't seen or talked to in several years, I wouldn't send one.
    image
  • Etiquette-wise, you don't owe a gift at all, so don't worry about it. 

    What does your gut tell you about a gift? Perhaps find their registry and find something inexpensive.  If you can't be bothered, a heartfelt card is perfectly appropriate. There is no appropriate amount, ever, in gifting. Do what you can afford, if you are so inclined. 
    I completely agree with this.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I used to send a gift for every wedding event that I couldn't attend (bachelorette, shower, wedding).

    That got old really fast.

    Now I only send a gift if I actually wanted to go to the event and just had a previous engagement.  

    I would send a card and be done with it.
    sexy, harry styles, best song ever, cute, beautiful, asdjglñlñ, marcel
  • There's never any rules to giving. Give if you feel inclined to and don't give if you see no reason. What is your gut telling you to do. If you want to give a gift, check out the registry and get something cheap. If not, you can just send a card. Or you can even just call a few weeks later to congratulate. 

    I personally would send a gift, but that's only because I truly enjoy giving. Hell, I just stalked the wedding registry and bought something  for a cousin I haven't spoken to since I was 7 because I enjoy making people happy. I even stalk wedding registries of people I don't know and send cards with no signature as my random act of kindness. But I'm weird like that. LOL

    Bottom line, only give you feel inclined to and your budget allows for it. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Ok thanks for the advice! I will definitely send a card and will find a gift from the registry if there's anything left then.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards