Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Help with program (for family member who has passed away)

I am getting married next friday and I am working on the program right now but having a hard time. My sister, who is my matron of honor passed away a month ago. I am not quite sure how to word things in the program. I am still putting her as my matron of honor, because she always will be my best friend and sister, but do I put RIP, or in memory of her? I really dont know and I am really having a hard time with it all. I was hoping I could get some outside opinions. We are going to have the best man walk down by himself with my sisters bouquet and have a stool with her picture and flowers sitting there. What are your opinions?

Re: Help with program (for family member who has passed away)

  • I'm very sorry for your loss.

    The two designations that come to mind are "in absentia" and "posthumously".
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I'd suggest listing her as you normally would have in the place where the Wedding Party is named, and perhaps in a note at the bottom provide any explanation you think is necessary. But my guess is that the stool, photo, and flowers  in the MOH's place will say it all. 

    My mom died long enough ago (14 years) that we're having a vase of flowers in her honor, and I'm weaving a locket into my flowers, but we aren't otherwise saving a place for her. The vase of flowers will be mentioned in the program and there also will be a card next to it indicating they are in her honor. 
  • I am so sorry for the loss of your sister.
  • How horrible to endure such a loss at any time, but especially at a time that can be so special for sisters. My sincere sympathy to you and your family.

    I would list her as you normally would have, although you could list her as 'the late Sister's Name.' I'd also include a paragraph in the program such as what Retread suggested. 

    I would also be sure the empty stool is OK with your for sure you parents and probably the rest of your siblings, if you have any. It could be really disconcerting for one, some or all of them. It is very important to acknowledge and remember your sister but also to not make it unbearably sad for anyone.

    This is such a fresh wound for you and your family that it may not be possible to really celebrate, but please try. Your wedding is still a joyous occasion, even if your sister is watching from afar. 

    Best of luck to you and I hope your wedding is beautiful. 
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  • Both my parents are deceased. I put, Parents of the Bride, under that In Memory of and then their names. I am also carrying a picture of them tied to my bouquet. I am sorry for your loss. 
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