Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
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help please

So I talked to my mother today, which by the way she said she was more than willing to help us pay for the wedding. My FI and I got engaged November of last year, and we're planning on getting married this year on nov 19th. Since she said her and my father would like to help us out we pushed our date, the date we really wanted to get married on, back. So since nov 19 of 2012 is a monday we chose nov 17, 2012. Now she is saying that the one place I want to have my reception will be too expensive and to start looking for a banquet hall (no offense to anyone but I really dislike banquet's I feel as though everyone does them). I know that it would be a tough, especially with the econ how it is. Plus they are struggling as it is so I figured they would only be able to help with the cost of cake and my FI and I would just have to make it work somehow... but honestly I don't understand why she would shoot my ideas/dreams down like this. So now I'm wondering if my FI and I should just elope on the original date, the 19th which is our 4th year together, and just have a reception later in 2012. I'm just so confused because I know that either way I won't be able to get the wedding of mine and my FI's dreams. Any help or ideas about how I can get through this? Frown

Re: help please

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_please-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:415e95fd-3ac4-4ed7-b3b9-634429b5a8f7Post:866a9e53-e526-466a-976f-670ed2cabe35">help please</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I talked to my mother today, which by the way she said she was more than willing to help us pay for the wedding. My FI and I got engaged November of last year, and we're planning on getting married this year on nov 19th. Since she said her and my father would like to help us out we pushed our date, the date we really wanted to get married on, back. So since nov 19 of 2012 is a monday we chose nov 17, 2012. Now she is saying that the one place I want to have my reception will be too expensive and to start looking for a banquet hall (no offense to anyone but I really dislike banquet's I feel as though everyone does them). I know that it would be a tough, especially with the econ how it is. Plus they are struggling as it is so I figured they would only be able to help with the cost of cake and my FI and I would just have to make it work somehow... but honestly I don't understand why she would shoot my ideas/dreams down like this. So now I'm wondering if my FI and I should just elope on the original date, the 19th which is our 4th year together, and just have a reception later in 2012. I'm just so confused because I know that either way I won't be able to get the wedding of mine and my FI's dreams. Any help or ideas about how I can get through this? 
    Posted by janessa21[/QUOTE]

    It shouldn't be on your parents shoulders to pay for your wedding; it's lovely that they've offered to help, but why is it now ONLY what they can afford to do?  If your parents can, and are willing to offer you $XX and you want a wedding that costs $XXXXX then you need to save up the rest. or scale back your ideas.

    Please don't do the whole "lets get married now, and then pretend to get married the 'right' way later".  Have the wedding you can afford, and then enjoy being a married woman! 

    Also, I don't really understand part of your post.  You seem to think you'll have the money in 2012 to have the reception you want; so why are you considering getting married a year earlier? instead of sticking with the current date of Nov 17, 2012?  Is it really just so you can get married on your anniversary?  because that seems like a pretty silly reason to stress yourself out....
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    I understand your pain about not getting the "wedding of your dreams".. My fiance and I, though are problems are a bit different, are struggling with the same thing. 

    But about ideas.. In november it is still possible to do outside.  Do you have any family friends with land, or a great yard?  You could maybe rent a great tent, get some mushroom heater things, and do it outside with the great November colors, and have nice  intimacy in the tent.  This is a cheaper way to do it instead of renting a hall or fancy hotel.  Also if you do it this way, you can choose your caterer, instead of having to choose one that your location requires. This can potentially cut way down on costs as well.

    Just some ideas, good luck! And remember (what my fiance is always reminding me) the most important part is that it will be you, and him, at the altar, saying your vows.  Everything else, is details.
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