Chit Chat

I shouldn't be bummed... but I am. :-\

My FI works in sales. His company is really heavy on the sales incentives, so he often gets a lot of free swag (gift cards and whatnot). Last year as the top seller in his division, he won an all-expenses paid Caribbean cruise for the both of us (including airfare, shuttle, etc.). Super awesome. This year, he's in a different role where he'll never outsell the top guy to win the cruise again, BUT they were reconfiguring their incentives and debating sending all the #2 guys to Vegas. FI loves him some slot machines, so he was pretty excited at this prospect.

Well he just emailed me saying he's super pumped because they announced he WILL be going to Vegas! Yay! July 31 through... August 3. My birthday. Womp womp.

He didn't mention anything like "I know that's your birthday but I'll be home early." I don't THINK he forgot... last year I was similarly bummed that his softball playoffs were on my birthday, but he insisted they'd be done in plenty of time to go to dinner anyway, and the dinner part of the birthday is the big deal and we didn't have anything else planned during the day anyway, which was true. So I got over myself, and he ended up throwing a surprise party after dinner so I couldn't be mad.

I'm turning 31, so I probably shouldn't give a crap anymore because I should be too old to whine about my own birthday, especially since it's such an irrelevant one. But even if he's home in time for dinner, he won't be around for any other celebrating with family and friends. I know I should be super happy because that's an awesome prize for him personally and a big accomplishment professionally. I don't expect him not to go... but I'm sadpanda that he didn't even mention it, and I'll have to spend the whole weekend alone. 

TL/DR I need some cheese with my whine, please. And wine.

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Re: I shouldn't be bummed... but I am. :-\

  • Um legit my birthday is July 30th and my FI will be gone for work so if yours abandons you lets go for a drink! bahaha
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  • Eh, I get it. 

    It sounds like he's been on the ball in the past with making sure your birthday doesn't go uncelebrated, though--hopefully he's underplaying it now for something cool later! Or he's just excited and by the time tonight rolls around he'll realize the timing and mention it.
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • larrygaga said:
    Um legit my birthday is July 30th and my FI will be gone for work so if yours abandons you lets go for a drink! bahaha
    I will totally take you up on that!

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  • Awww I'm sorry :/ I LOVE birthdays so I totally understand being bummed. I think FI will definitely make it work, though!

    And my bday is the 6th! Woohoo, Leo's!
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  • I totally hear ya! You just want to know that he is thinking about it. DH and I just figured out he'll be away for our second anniversary. We can't really change that because he needs to be home for my chemo 5 days later. It was so disappointing when we realized that. Hopefully your FI is planning something special for while he is gone or just before/after the trip!!

     







  • I totally get it! I love celebrating my birthday too. 

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  • There's no way you could go to Vegas too? ;)


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  • Aw, I totally understand where you're coming from! FI is really the only person I feel like I have to see on my birthday so I'd be pretty sadpanda as well if he wasn't here.

    Also, which day is your birthday? Mine's July 31st :) I feel like we all need to have cake! 
  • There's no way you could go to Vegas too? ;)
    I could... if I wanted to pay for it myself, which isn't in the budget with a wedding in 2 months, 3 weeks and 5 days (thanks, ticker). And wanted to sit by myself while FI is doing worky-type things (he said they were sort of making a conference out of it, as opposed to pure vacation like the cruise was). And burn up the few vacation days I have left after planning for the honeymoon.
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  • That seriously sucks! even though I'm not big on celebrating my birthday, I love to go all out for everyone else, I always like to spend time with FI on my birthday. Too bad you can't go too!

  • Aw, I totally understand where you're coming from! FI is really the only person I feel like I have to see on my birthday so I'd be pretty sadpanda as well if he wasn't here.

    Also, which day is your birthday? Mine's July 31st :) I feel like we all need to have cake! 
    August 3 :) 8/3/83, he's got no excuse for forgetting the date! :-p

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  • There's no way you could go to Vegas too? ;)
    I could... if I wanted to pay for it myself, which isn't in the budget with a wedding in 2 months, 3 weeks and 5 days (thanks, ticker). And wanted to sit by myself while FI is doing worky-type things (he said they were sort of making a conference out of it, as opposed to pure vacation like the cruise was). And burn up the few vacation days I have left after planning for the honeymoon.
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    Boo :( It sounds like maybe he's so excited about the prospect of the trip that he's so caught up in all the excitement. I bet he'll come around soon (and hopefully plan something awesome for you two!)


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  • There's no way you could go to Vegas too? ;)
    I could... if I wanted to pay for it myself, which isn't in the budget with a wedding in 2 months, 3 weeks and 5 days (thanks, ticker). And wanted to sit by myself while FI is doing worky-type things (he said they were sort of making a conference out of it, as opposed to pure vacation like the cruise was). And burn up the few vacation days I have left after planning for the honeymoon.
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    Boo :( It sounds like maybe he's so excited about the prospect of the trip that he's so caught up in all the excitement. I bet he'll come around soon (and hopefully plan something awesome for you two!)
    I'm sure he is... so I feel like an ass that I couldn't even muster up a "WOOOOOO YEAH VEGAS BABY!" email back to him. Just "Congrats babe, that's really exciting for you." With a period. Not even an exclamation point. Because I'm a jerk.

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  • Aw, I totally understand where you're coming from! FI is really the only person I feel like I have to see on my birthday so I'd be pretty sadpanda as well if he wasn't here.

    Also, which day is your birthday? Mine's July 31st :) I feel like we all need to have cake! 
    August 3 :) 8/3/83, he's got no excuse for forgetting the date! :-p
    Yes, that date is pretty hard to forget!

    And yeah, cake is definitely in order.
  • I understand this. My fiancé has been on tour with his band during my birthday before, and it made me sad. I don't been like my birthday to be a big deal. I just like him to do something special with me.
  • I understand this. My fiancé has been on tour with his band during my birthday before, and it made me sad. I don't been like my birthday to be a big deal. I just like him to do something special with me.
    I don't even really care so much about having anything special to do... but I don't want to wake up alone on my birthday. :( I'm perfectly content with waking up to a "good morning baby, happy birthday," eating breakfast and carrying on with a normal day. And getting my free lobster dinner, of course. 

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  • I understand this. My fiancé has been on tour with his band during my birthday before, and it made me sad. I don't been like my birthday to be a big deal. I just like him to do something special with me.
    I don't even really care so much about having anything special to do... but I don't want to wake up alone on my birthday. :( I'm perfectly content with waking up to a "good morning baby, happy birthday," eating breakfast and carrying on with a normal day. And getting my free lobster dinner, of course. 
    Same here, minus the lobster. Special to me is just some acknowledgement and dinner. Maybe some flowers wouldn't hurt. 
  • FiancBFiancB member
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    I'm sorry, I totally get that! I feel really bad for FI because his 30th is just a couple days before the wedding and with my OOT guests arriving I just don't know how we're going to find the time to do anything special. I'm hoping he's cool with celebrating a couple days early but I still feel bad :( he wanted for our date to be before his birthday but we had to push it back. 
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  • Yeah I get it too.  I'm sorry!
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • I totally understand your feelings. About a month after FI and I got engaged and set the wedding date, FI was offered a project to work up in Baffin Island for a few months. It would have been crazy good money but our wedding date fell smack dab in the middle of that time. Sadly, I had to remind FI about this because he forgot.

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  • Awh. ):


    But, your birthday is Fi and my anniversary (:
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  • Thanks for the commiseration, everyone. Feels better knowing I'm not the only one who'd be bummed out by this. Scribe, I may still look into if it's at all an option to tag along.

    It also helped to come home to a shower invitation - my own!! Squee! (Hosted at FMIL's home by my 3 FSILs)

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  • So as it turns out, they're staying at a business center hotel off the strip and sharing rooms. Wah.

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  • Don't worry lolo, I get it. I have major birthday issues too (thanks Dad) and I would probably flip a table if FI had to be OOT on my birthday. Well, this year that can't happen because we're getting married the day before I turn 29! Take that, Crappy Birthday Cancelling Schedule Monster! Anyway, you get all my hugs. And wine. Lots and lots of wine.
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  • I'd be bummed, too. Selfishly, my birthday is my favorite day of the year, so I'd be sad, but I'd move the celebration.
  • FiancB said:
    I'm sorry, I totally get that! I feel really bad for FI because his 30th is just a couple days before the wedding and with my OOT guests arriving I just don't know how we're going to find the time to do anything special. I'm hoping he's cool with celebrating a couple days early but I still feel bad :( he wanted for our date to be before his birthday but we had to push it back. 
    FI's 30th is two weeks before the wedding and two days before his bachelor party. My bachelorette party is the weekend before. I can't throw a party - I can't expect his friends to do a party, bachelor party, and wedding all in the span of 3 weeks. We have so much going on the week of his birthday - last minute meetings with vendors and whatnot that I don't even think I can plan a small birthday dinner with a couple of his friends. I don't even think we can do a special birthday dinner just the two of us.
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  • ashleyep said:
    FiancB said:
    I'm sorry, I totally get that! I feel really bad for FI because his 30th is just a couple days before the wedding and with my OOT guests arriving I just don't know how we're going to find the time to do anything special. I'm hoping he's cool with celebrating a couple days early but I still feel bad :( he wanted for our date to be before his birthday but we had to push it back. 
    FI's 30th is two weeks before the wedding and two days before his bachelor party. My bachelorette party is the weekend before. I can't throw a party - I can't expect his friends to do a party, bachelor party, and wedding all in the span of 3 weeks. We have so much going on the week of his birthday - last minute meetings with vendors and whatnot that I don't even think I can plan a small birthday dinner with a couple of his friends. I don't even think we can do a special birthday dinner just the two of us.
    Does he work at an office where you could have something delivered? There are a lot of cool "masculine" gift baskets nowadays, plus the typical ones with popcorn, sweets, wine, sausage... would at least give him some warm fuzzies to have something awesome delivered to him, even if you can't carve out QT together. He can share with his coworkers and brag about how awesome his almost-wife is. FI loves when his clients send him Edible Arrangements. :-p

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  • ashleyep said:
    FiancB said:
    I'm sorry, I totally get that! I feel really bad for FI because his 30th is just a couple days before the wedding and with my OOT guests arriving I just don't know how we're going to find the time to do anything special. I'm hoping he's cool with celebrating a couple days early but I still feel bad :( he wanted for our date to be before his birthday but we had to push it back. 
    FI's 30th is two weeks before the wedding and two days before his bachelor party. My bachelorette party is the weekend before. I can't throw a party - I can't expect his friends to do a party, bachelor party, and wedding all in the span of 3 weeks. We have so much going on the week of his birthday - last minute meetings with vendors and whatnot that I don't even think I can plan a small birthday dinner with a couple of his friends. I don't even think we can do a special birthday dinner just the two of us.
    Does he work at an office where you could have something delivered? There are a lot of cool "masculine" gift baskets nowadays, plus the typical ones with popcorn, sweets, wine, sausage... would at least give him some warm fuzzies to have something awesome delivered to him, even if you can't carve out QT together. He can share with his coworkers and brag about how awesome his almost-wife is. FI loves when his clients send him Edible Arrangements. :-p
    I'd send my FI a pizza at work.

    Actually, I should do that. FI's birthday is on Wednesday.
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  • ashleyep said:
    FiancB said:
    I'm sorry, I totally get that! I feel really bad for FI because his 30th is just a couple days before the wedding and with my OOT guests arriving I just don't know how we're going to find the time to do anything special. I'm hoping he's cool with celebrating a couple days early but I still feel bad :( he wanted for our date to be before his birthday but we had to push it back. 
    FI's 30th is two weeks before the wedding and two days before his bachelor party. My bachelorette party is the weekend before. I can't throw a party - I can't expect his friends to do a party, bachelor party, and wedding all in the span of 3 weeks. We have so much going on the week of his birthday - last minute meetings with vendors and whatnot that I don't even think I can plan a small birthday dinner with a couple of his friends. I don't even think we can do a special birthday dinner just the two of us.
    Does he work at an office where you could have something delivered? There are a lot of cool "masculine" gift baskets nowadays, plus the typical ones with popcorn, sweets, wine, sausage... would at least give him some warm fuzzies to have something awesome delivered to him, even if you can't carve out QT together. He can share with his coworkers and brag about how awesome his almost-wife is. FI loves when his clients send him Edible Arrangements. :-p
    That's a good idea! I've sent him a giant cookie before - but maybe I can send him an edible arrangement or a cookie bouquet or something. Thanks!
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