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I don't know if I want to do this...

ashley8918ashley8918 member
First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
in Wedding Woes
You guys, I don't know what is wrong with me. All of a sudden, I was hit with this overwhelming panic. I don't know If I want to marry him. I love him very much, but we have been fighting a lot lately, and it is really making me question whether or not I want to spend the rest of my life this way. 

I know that couples fight, but It has been really excessive lately. Every day he has some new gripe with me, and he has been accusing me of lying about things. Stupid things, like where or not I let the dogs out, if I went out to eat for lunch, etc. And anytime I express that he is being mean to me or disregarding my feelings, he comes back with some belittling comment like "whatever, cry about it, then." He's not interesting in talking things out and understanding why i'm upset, and I doubt he will go to counselling, and I just don't really know what to do.
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Re: I don't know if I want to do this...

  • emmyg65emmyg65 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I view refusal to go to counseling as a dealbreaker, so there's your answer. Sorry you're in this situation.
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  • ashley8918ashley8918 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    emmyg65 said:
    I view refusal to go to counseling as a dealbreaker, so there's your answer. Sorry you're in this situation.
    He didn't actually refuse. I just get the feeling that he will. But who knows... It's worth bringing up.
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  • shaylagirlshaylagirl member
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    What @emmyg65 said. 

    Sure, it's possible he's stressing over the wedding and all that goes along with it, but he's being unnecessarily belittling and rude about it.

    Tell him it's therapy, or you're walking.  But you have to actually MEAN it, which means make sure you have an exit plan in place for the possibility he says he won't go.

    Good luck to you.  I'm so sorry you're dealing with him being so mean.  :(


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  • loveislouderloveislouder member
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    Right before my best friend was to get married, they started fighting a lot. So I sat them down and we talked it out - she was picking fights on purpose to see how far she could push him before he left.  Maybe he's just trying to see how far he can push before you give up.


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  • GBCKGBCK member
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    ashley8918 said:
    emmyg65 said:
    I view refusal to go to counseling as a dealbreaker, so there's your answer. Sorry you're in this situation.
    He didn't actually refuse. I just get the feeling that he will. But who knows... It's worth bringing up.
    The fact that communication is degraded enough tha tyou're not talking to him and yo're making assumptions about what he will say to conversations that haven't occured = a big sign that counseling is a damn good idea.

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  • ashley8918ashley8918 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2014
    GBCK said:
    ashley8918 said:
    emmyg65 said:
    I view refusal to go to counseling as a dealbreaker, so there's your answer. Sorry you're in this situation.
    He didn't actually refuse. I just get the feeling that he will. But who knows... It's worth bringing up.
    The fact that communication is degraded enough tha tyou're not talking to him and yo're making assumptions about what he will say to conversations that haven't occured = a big sign that counseling is a damn good idea.

    You're absolutely right. I will definitely give it a shot.

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  • beachyone15beachyone15 member
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    Wishing you the best of luck!


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  • mrsmorales2bemrsmorales2be mod
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    I hope you two are able to talk about this and get the counseling you need.  Good luck!

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