Wedding Etiquette Forum

Um...I'm confused...invitation help please?

So, not my invitations. But my good buddy is getting married to his long time partner...yay! I got the invitation in the mail yesterday, yay! No RSVP card, but on the back of the invite it says "Please RSVP to weddingwebsite.com"  ok groovy. 

Here's my thing...it doens't have an RSVP date. I've never gotten one without a date before....

So um...I know I should RSVP but by when? It's an out of state wedding, we need to make sure we can afford the trip, hotel, and get time off from work, so I can't say yes right away. How soon should I let them know? Two weeks before? Or...seriously has anyone come across this? I feel like the answer is simple but I'm missing it.

Re: Um...I'm confused...invitation help please?

  • Have you gone to the website yet?  Maybe that has the RSVP date on it.  If not, I would call up your friend and ask when they need to know.

    pinkshorts27PrettyGirlLost
  • Yeah, I'd go to the website and see if it has a date.  Otherwise I wouldn't bother calling them though, just try to get them an answer a couple weeks before.  They'll call you if they need to know.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    PrettyGirlLost
  • Just let them know as soon as you know. Generally, people need these numbers for venue/caterer/etc a couple weeks before the wedding. 

    If you want to be proactive about it, you could send them a message like "thanks for the invitation, excited for you! not sure when you want the RSVP, but we're trying to figure out if we can make it and will let you know asap." If they actually need to know by a certain date, they might respond with one.
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • Just checked the wedding website, because I did not think to do that (see I told you I was missing something!), and no date on there.

    I could reach out to them. We're pretty close friends. I like @southernbelle0915's wording. Cause...it sounds casual. And I might steal that.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Yeah, I'd go to the website and see if it has a date.  Otherwise I wouldn't bother calling them though, just try to get them an answer a couple weeks before.  They'll call you if they need to know.
    Not necessarily. Some people take no response as a "no".  
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    pinkshorts27d2va
  • Oh man... are you semi-close to this person? I would probably call and explain your situation and slide in there that there was so RSVP date so maybe it'll come to their attention so they can at least add a line to the website. 
  • mysticl said:



    Yeah, I'd go to the website and see if it has a date.  Otherwise I wouldn't bother calling them though, just try to get them an answer a couple weeks before.  They'll call you if they need to know.

    Not necessarily. Some people take no response as a "no".  


    Yea, my family does and it is annoying because sometimes computers have glitches and mail gets lost.

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  • Is it Tony?
  • No not Tony. He's still happily single.
    [Deleted User]ashley8918
  • I would contact him and ask.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • NymeruNymeru member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Most etiquette books and websites said that RSVPs should be expected back within 3-4 weeks of the actual wedding, so I'd err on the side of one month before the wedding.  If you need longer than that, I'd contact your friend and let them know.
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