My FMIL is a rude waffle-gobbler

Inkdancer

FI and I are currently on the last night of a family vacation, and I have never been so angry at my FMIL as I am right now.

Backstory: FMIL is an alcoholic and behaves badly when she's drunk. Earlier in the week, FMIL got so drunk and inappropriate that FFIL left without her, leaving her and Grandma stranded here. FMIL is getting a ride home with her sister, but FI and I got volunteered to take Grandma home. So we have to stay until Grandma is ready to leave.

FI and I are staying on the third floor. Because it is the only room on the third floor, it has no door at the top of the staircase. Therefore, we can hear everything happening in the house, including their very loud drunken card games. I went downstairs to gently remind people that we can hear them. FMIL looked me right in the face and said "I don't care". I know she's drunk but that is no excuse for being so rude. I can't sleep, and I'm so angry I'm shaking.

I have no idea how to deal with her. I am 10000% done right now.

ETA: Waffle-gobbler is my new favorite non-cursing curse word.

JoanE2012

At least it's the last night! Because if it weren't, I'd probably leave like your FFIL.

Inkdancer

JoanE2012 said:

At least it's the last night! Because if it weren't, I'd probably leave like your FFIL.

Oh yeah. I would get in the car right now if it weren't for Grandma. She shouldn't be punished for her adult daughter's behavior.

chibiyui

That really sucks. I hope you can get to sleep soon.

KytchynWitche

I'm so sorry. I understand completely. My dad's BSC second wife is also an alcoholic. After 5+ years of her behaviour growing steadily worse she finally went completely nutso over a game of 30 Seconds at a family gathering (after drinking a bottle and a half of wine at lunch, driving home while very clearly intoxicated, and proceeding to drink several more). My sister and I sat down with my dad that night to tell him that we were concerned for his safety, and the safety of our two young stepsisters. His response was that it is all in our heads. This despite several of both his and her friends, family members, and business contacts telling him over the last 2 years that they are no longer prepared to socialise with them because of her behaviour. He has since disowned us.

You get all my hugs and wine right now. And I love waffle-gobbler. It is an excellent word which I shall now endeavour to use at every possible opportunity.

Take deep breaths and just keep reminding yourself that it's almost over!

AddieCake

Grandma shouldn't be punished, but neither should you. If I were Grandma, I'd be WANTING to leave. I think I'd be telling Grandma I'm going and she can either come with or stay behind.

kmmssg

I come from an alcoholic family so I get the story here, but I would also be super livid with FFIL.  His decision to leave couldn't have impacted everyone else any more.  It is great if he sets a boundary for himself to leave, but he can't just make her someone else's problem when he does that.

Inkdancer

kmmssg said:

I come from an alcoholic family so I get the story here, but I would also be super livid with FFIL.  His decision to leave couldn't have impacted everyone else any more.  It is great if he sets a boundary for himself to leave, but he can't just make her someone else's problem when he does that.

I agree. However, I sort of understand why he would leave. Her whole family enables her. They know she gets nasty when she drinks but they don't do a damn thing to stop or discourage her. He's fed up and so am I.

lc07

Do you think it's possible that she meant that she doesn't care if you hear her conversations? Meaning she didn't understand that you meant they were being too loud but rather that she didn't care if you heard her being a dickwad in conversation? (Can we say dickwad? I went on vacation around the time of the no-curse-words rule.)

Either way the alcoholism is an obvious problem. I'm sorry you are stuck dealing with it. How is your FI handling it?

Inkdancer

lc07 said:

Do you think it's possible that she meant that she doesn't care if you hear her conversations? Meaning she didn't understand that you meant they were being too loud but rather that she didn't care if you heard her being a dickwad in conversation? (Can we say dickwad? I went on vacation around the time of the no-curse-words rule.)

Either way the alcoholism is an obvious problem. I'm sorry you are stuck dealing with it. How is your FI handling it?

Unfortunately no. The way she said it was "I don't care. This is my time to spend with my family. Put in some ear plugs."

This is, sadly, the least mean thing she's done while drunk. It was just the one I felt like ranting about last night when I couldn't sleep.

emmaaa

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. My dad is a recovering alcoholic and I know the difficulty of that. I will agree with a PP that said that FFIL should not have left y'all do deal with it alone. He put you in a difficult situation. Also, it might would have been better if your FI had talked with his mother about quieting down a little bit. I guess I wouldn't have been put off by them being loud since it is their vacation and they want to enjoy it. I owuld have been upset by her rude comment though.