We had a fight... but I love my FMIL

wandajune6

FI and I got into a huge fight yesterday while driving to his mother's to drop stuff off. Probably our worst fight to date. When we pull up to her place, I'm trying to clean myself up and stop the tears, trying to play it down. She immediately yells at FI (I couldn't follow her ridiculously fast Spanish), makes me get out of the car, and basically drags me into her apartment.

She was so sweet! She sat me down on the couch and let me cry for a while. She tells me how FI could never do better than me but that he's a complete idiot sometimes and doesn't know how good he's got it. We also had a great conversation about the family and her sons which helped me close a few gaps that FI never wanted to talk about. She then proceeds to start cooking for me before taking me home. She even packed my lunch for work today- enchiladas with her homemade mole.

It was really nice to have a mom giving me - to use @ohannabelle's words- soothing mom noises. I try not to call my own mom after fights because I feel like it's unfair to FI. But FI and I did agree that we probably shouldn't involve any parent in future squabbles!

I was home by 4:30 and she even called to check in on me.

FMIL and FI were estranged for a long time so she stays out of our business for the most part and is just grateful to be involved in our lives. In fact, I know she wouldn't have done anything if I wasn't bawling in the car when we pulled up. I don't normally think parents should get involved in this way but it was the most welcome gesture ever. FI was also a bit relieved because it gave us a little bit of time apart to let things settle down. I should also add that I was careful not to overshare with FMIL or break FI's trust.

FI's still a complete shithead but we're fine.

What's FMIL/MIL great with?

pinkcow13

Awww that's awesome and really sweet of her. And I'm glad to hear that you and FI had time to let things settle down.

FMIL can be hard to take at times, but she is really sweet and cool too. She is a shopaholic and has tons of clothes. She usually buys things and either only wears them once, or just doesn't wear them, and she always gives me a huge stack of clothes. I must add that she has good taste, so most of the stuff is stuff I would wear anyways. Now I have a ton of new workout pants thanks to her She also gets us little things which is sweet, such as sandwich tupperwares for lunch, cute coasters,  or little things that come in handy for us.

JCbride2015

I love my FMIL too.  Like, a whole lot.  She has been there for me since I was 15 so she's like a second mom.

Not only did she let me and Fi stay in their house after Sandy, I kind of yelled at her about stupid shit because I was so stressed out and she just hugged me and let me cry a whole lot.

She also gets really righteously angry when my own parents act like douchecanoes (which is often).  She has been to every graduation ceremony since high school and gets all puffed up in the photos like a proud mama hen.

And she raised a heck of a guy.

Bubblegum5586

I read once that if you need to vent about your SO, then vent to their mom. They can forgive faster tehn your own parents can.

wandajune6

@pinkcow13 and @JCBride2015 - you both sound like you have great FMIL's!

@bubblegum1309- that's the mentality I've always had. I remember venting to my mom about ex years ago and she never forgave him for what I told her. Even when he and I were doing fine, she wasn't. I learned not to talk about BFs to my family because they'll always love me more!

sarawifenow

That was super sweet of your FMIL! I wouldn't say that I dislike my FMIL, but she has a lot of things that I am not fond of. What I will say is that she is very generous and always fattens you up when you come to visit. ETA: TK ate my paragraphs

jdluvr06

Both of my FILs are awesome. I especially love FMIL. She is the best. We like to joke that she loves me more than my FI. Lol. We hang out all the time. She is bffs with my mom too so we have a lot of girls nights that consist of me, my mom, my sister, and fmil. The most recent awesome thing she did was listen to me vent about FI and his brother leaving the house a mess. She then yelled at both of them for not acting their age.

JCbride2015

SaraBrideSoon said:

That was super sweet of your FMIL! I wouldn't say that I dislike my FMIL, but she has a lot of things that I am not fond of. What I will say is that she is very generous and always fattens you up when you come to visit. ETA: TK ate my paragraphs

Oh don't get me wrong.  My FMIL is crazy like a fox and she can drive me up a wall.  She is very good at the passive-agressive selective hearing.  If I say no to something, she'll just keep asking and/or ask Fi like she never heard the word "no" before.  But I still love her.

falsara

I love my FMIL, she is super suportive of our relationship and she has helped me and FI out financially a few times with things like college, and helping us move here. It's also great that she basically lets me and FI live our own lives and plan our wedding with bascially no interference.

There are times though when I seriously dislike her. My FI's dream has always been to be a standup comedian and he's good at it, its one of the resons we moved from AZ to Chicago, but she always tells him that he's not funny, or that he won't be successful at it and that he should just do what her and my FIL did, which was go into either nursing or become a doctor because then he'll make more money. This is her rant anytime we talk to her about how he's doing in his comedy career. I really think she needs to suport him more, because even though he wants to be a comedian, he's still getting his BA in English, with a minor in Bio in case he does decide he wants to do nursing. And he fully plans on having an office job when he graduates and then pursuing comedy at night when he does open mics and such.

ETA : Paragraphs 

Lowell14

My FILS are awesome! FIL and I get on really well and have from the moment we met. When FI and I told them we we engaged, FIL said 'what took you so long?'

MIL took a bit longer to warm up to me but she has always been supportive of us and available if I need anything, especially with my parents bring overseas. I do love when FI doesn't agree with me about something then asks his mum - who agrees with me!