Several weeks ago, FIL and SMIL invited us to go tubing on the river. We couldn't, as we'd previously agreed to go over to my folks' town to help with some various computer and heavy box issues ( my folks are technology impaired, dad's a fully disabled combat vet, and mom can't lift some od the stuff).
After we returned, FIL was a little snarky about how nice it would have been to have us join them, but I thought that was due to irritation at two of SMILs invitees, who apparently could not swim. I said perhaps next time we could join them, perhaps around his birthday (next week). Otherwise noncommittal.
We have one of those sip and paint studios in our town. SMIL has been DYING to go. I suggested she join me in an open studio afternoon where she could pick anything and have fun. The next one is this coming Sunday. I let her know Monday if she wanted to do it, we had to reserve seats now due to limited space. She said yes, so I signed us up.I also had to pay in advance.
Later she contacted me asking if we could reschedule. Thinking this waa due to her jerk of a boss putting her on call for the weekend, I said sure but did not tell her my options with the painting place were now to a) find someone to take her place, b) go by myself and try to negotiate a store credit or c) eat the whole $90 for the two of us. It ended up option b- I dont mind, I can usually find someone to chat casually with while we drink and paint.
Fast forward to late last night. DH gets a text from SMIL asking if we want to join them tubing on Sunday.
Im annoyed. DH won't go without me to talk to as well, and I now have a prior commitment Sunday afternoon. FIL will be pissy, because its his birthday and we semi suggested wed be coming on the next trip. Plus I am not crazy about the seemingly last minute invitation. Based on this and other events in the past, it feels like my in-laws do not see DHs and my time as valuable, and that we can drop everything to accommodate them.
am I completely out of line on this one? Or would you be irritated too if you made plans with your inlaws, your in-laws broke those plans, and then made ones that were apparently better? And that those plans, were related to you just before the start of the weekend, giving you little time to reorganize or plan around it?
UPDATE on this mess....
I was mistaken about FIL's bday- it is the end of NEXT week, not this week. That wasn't the problem. The problem appears to have been as follows: SMIL tells FIL about her plans with me, FIL flips at the idea of her spending $45 to relax, drink, and paint (this despite the fact that he LOOOVES when I paint something for them). So she has to cancel to keep her DH happy.
FIL was apparently making comments to DH about "who would pay to paint a picture" yesterday. DH flat out told him that I went anyway as I had paid for it, and that between my prior commitment (and payment) to paint and his grad school paper, there was no way we'd be able to join them on the river on Sunday, and reminded him we didn't get invited until 11 pm Thursday. (weather was crappy anyway, the river would have been closed to tubing).
FIL then voiced surprised that DH would "let" me spend money on painting. Umm, no. I work full time. My salary goes to basic necessities- I don't go shopping for stuff just to have it. DH instantly defended me, pointing out that I budget for things, and this is something I enjoy doing. DH was pretty pissed at his Dad over his attitude of "letting" me do things- I'm his wife, which means partner, not slave.
And the beat goes on.....