Wedding Woes

How to handle someone asking for an invite

My fiancee has a large family and we've got a small wedding venue. We made a lot of cuts to get our guest list down to 120 (the max. capacity for our reception room). Well fiancee's friend group (unlike mine) are all super close with each other- one huge happy family. We had to cut a few people out of this group but made sure to only cut those whom FI doesn't hang out with unless we're all in a group setting. Well today, FI and I both received an email from one of the 'friends' who didn't make the cut, ASKING us if he's invited or not (his gf, also in the 'friend group' wasn't invited either). FI thinks we have to extend an invite his way now since he called us out on not being invited. I think we explain to him "sorry, we couldn't invite everyone". Side note: I saw this particular friend at the last wedding we went to, and he was so drunk, he was walking around pouring beer on girls' heads. I do NOT want that at my wedding. Any suggestions how to handle this? Ultimately, FI is ok with us not inviting him but wants to word it so future group gatherings are not awkward. Thank you!

Re: How to handle someone asking for an invite

  • GBCKGBCK member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    it's bad manners to ask.
    You don't re-enforce and reward people for bad manners.
    You say "I'm sorry, we would have loved to invite everyone but were unable to.  THanks for understanding" and leave it alkt that
  • "Unfortunately, we couldn't invite everyone due to the capacity of our reception room".  
    Repeat as necessary.
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  • Thank you both. One caveat I forgot to mention. He put in his email that FI asked him for his address so he assumed he would be invited. We did a little searching and FI responded on a guy group thread back in Feb asking for the guys to send him their addresses (ugh). Are we in the wrong or is he, or both? I feel bad for the misunderstanding but not bad enough to want him and his behavior and possibly girlfriend at our wedding. I was thinking of saying basically what GBCK said and adding sorry for any confusion.
  • i disagree. op did not and does not want him there, and fi agreed. asking for an address is not the same as a "save the date."

    stick to the lines noted above, and do not bring "asking for address" into it. 
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  • lodele47 said:
    My fiancee has a large family and we've got a small wedding venue. We made a lot of cuts to get our guest list down to 120 (the max. capacity for our reception room). Well fiancee's friend group (unlike mine) are all super close with each other- one huge happy family. We had to cut a few people out of this group but made sure to only cut those whom FI doesn't hang out with unless we're all in a group setting. Well today, FI and I both received an email from one of the 'friends' who didn't make the cut, ASKING us if he's invited or not (his gf, also in the 'friend group' wasn't invited either). FI thinks we have to extend an invite his way now since he called us out on not being invited. I think we explain to him "sorry, we couldn't invite everyone". Side note: I saw this particular friend at the last wedding we went to, and he was so drunk, he was walking around pouring beer on girls' heads. I do NOT want that at my wedding. Any suggestions how to handle this? Ultimately, FI is ok with us not inviting him but wants to word it so future group gatherings are not awkward. Thank you!
    This phrasing really rubs me the wrong way. I'm sure you meant, "who didn't get invited". Your wedding is not something people are competing to get an invite to. 

    Anyway, PP's have good advice, I agree with them.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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