I want to share this as a warning to any lurking bride out there on these boards who may be questioning if their BFF isn't "doing their part" or is thinking that her WP should be doing more for the wedding.
When I was asked to be in a good friend's wedding, I couldn't be happier to be asked. I searched online and through bridal magazines to scope out ideas, I answered those 11pm texts about color coordination and even called references for the bride when she was picking out a photographer. I was willing to make crafts and be that shoulder for her to cry on when she got too stressed out.
My excitement and willingness to help her out changed over time as she never took bridesmaid budgets into consideration, she threw a huge fit when a bridesmaid became pregnant and she asked for a lavish $1,000 a girl destination bachelorette party. There were multiple references to her "day" and how she "deserved" certain things. She complained to me about how other BMs were not giving her expensive gifts, they were not willing to buy new expensive shoes to wear with their dresses and how dare a BM miss the bridal shower because that BM had planned a vacation at the same time. She even questioned my finances when I explained how I couldn't afford that ridiculously expensive bachelorette party trip. I did everything I could for her, including taking a day from work to transport decorations and flowers to the ceremony site the day before the wedding. I spent more money than I intended to to make sure I "fit the part."
On the day of her wedding, she was only nice to the MOH and one BM who she felt had lived up to the "bridesmaid duties." She ignored the pregnant BM and she definitely didn't want to be around certain BMs who she felt hadn't done their part. It was awkward and hard to enjoy being part of the celebration when you felt the bride shooting evil glances behind your back.
When the two of us met up for lunch a few days later, she told me she regretted her bridal party and wished she could go back and change it to not having anyone involved because "no one met expectations." I'm not friends with this person any longer after we had this conversation. It was difficult ending a nearly 15 year friendship but I know it was the right decision.
Don't be that bride. You may feel like you're not getting what the bridal magazines tell you about "duties" and "expectations" of your WP, but if you're not careful, you may end up with a lot less by not having friends because of your behavior.