20 Things you don't really need at a wedding.

OliveOilsMom

Saw this article.  Pretty accurate (with the exception of not enough chairs for the ceremony) and could help a lot of special snowflakes out there.

Clicky.

smalfrie19

except recommending JJ's house, Its a knockoff site that creates terrible dresses overseas. 

SeaCaptainOtter

Chairs, though, I think are needed for every butt. I would like a chair and I am going to be judgy allllll over that ceremony if I have to stand.

hellohkb

I agree that you don't need those thinges except the chairs. I went to a wedding last month where there weren't enough chairs for everyone. I would be flipping out if there weren't enough chairs at my wedding.

theartistformerlyknownas

I take great offense at the "no cake" suggestion.

And seriously with the chairs. Nine times out of ten, your guests will not be wearing the same shoes or clothes they would wear to stand in line for a ride at Disney World.

Peaseblossom55

I didn't get why not to do a block of hotel rooms. It's an added convenience for your guest, it's usually of no cost to you and sometimes the block rate is at a discount and can save your guests money.

 

hellohkb

I'm assuming some people believe they must pay for a room block. FH was going around telling people hotel rooms were free because of the hotel block *major palmface*

OliveOilsMom

smalfrie19 said:

except recommending JJ's house, Its a knockoff site that creates terrible dresses overseas. 

Good catch.  I didn't know for sure if JJ's was a knockoff site or not. 

wandajune6

That no cake comment was bullshit. I need cake!

huskypuppy14

I don't think Wendy had enough chairs at her own wedding. She's good with her advice column, but she's not a wedding etiquette expert.

larrygaga

21. The groom. It is YOUR day after all!!!

larrygaga

Also, I disagree with assigned seating (as well as chairs and cake). I have been to weddings where weird random high school friends took the spots closest to the head table, so the parents and grandparents had to sit far away. Also, it kind of sucks walking in and not really knowing where you are supposed to go. 

Obviously the wedding won't die without it, but I think it's one of those simple things that you can do to make the day run smoother and prevent issues. 

iloveotters2014

Yeah JJ's house is a def no no. A friend had her BM's order their dresses from there. They sent one of the bridesmaids a hot pink dress (her dress was supposed to be navy) and then wouldn't take it back and give her a new one. They wouldnt give them a new one at all. She had to go to a bridal shop at the last minute and get something that would look right with the other dresses. It was a mess.

falsara

You need chairs, and Cake is definitely appreciated. 

Also I beleive having a website is cheaper than sticking all that extra paper information into an Invite

There are also some things that just depend on who your guest list is made of, 75% of my guests are OOT, That's why we're doing STDs, and Hotel Blocks.

missdelilah

I've been to a lot of ceremonies that didn't have chairs for everyone. I don't know if this is a big deal anymore. Friends who've wanted long, formal, ceremonies generally have them in a church, which comes equipped with seats. Friends who've wanted shorter ceremonies did them outdoors, or in a non-religious venue, and no, there weren't enough seats at any of them, and at one, no seats at all. I don't see this as an issue so long as people who really need seats are given them. A lot of the venues we looked at offered either no seating, or twenty seats for the ceremony. Cocktail receptions don't tend to offer seating for everyone. It just seems like such a NBD in my book, so long, as I've said, anyone who needs a chair because they can't stand for half an hour gets one. If you can't stand for half an hour because your shoes are uncomfortable, suck it up. I'm sure you've spent longer than that waiting in those same shoes for entry to a club, or standing in a crowded bar.

Recommending JJsHouse seemed really odd. Obviously this woman has never had any experience with this company.

Edit: paragraphs!

Inkdancer

missdelilah said:

I've been to a lot of ceremonies that didn't have chairs for everyone. I don't know if this is a big deal anymore. Friends who've wanted long, formal, ceremonies generally have them in a church, which comes equipped with seats. Friends who've wanted shorter ceremonies did them outdoors, or in a non-religious venue, and no, there weren't enough seats at any of them, and at one, no seats at all. I don't see this as an issue so long as people who really need seats are given them. A lot of the venues we looked at offered either no seating, or twenty seats for the ceremony. Cocktail receptions don't tend to offer seating for everyone. It just seems like such a NBD in my book, so long, as I've said, anyone who needs a chair because they can't stand for half an hour gets one. If you can't stand for half an hour because your shoes are uncomfortable, suck it up. I'm sure you've spent longer than that waiting in those same shoes for entry to a club, or standing in a crowded bar.

Recommending JJsHouse seemed really odd. Obviously this woman has never had any experience with this company.

Edit: paragraphs!

But who decides who gets a seat? I look perfectly normal but have arthritis, and standing for a long time wrecks me for days. I think deciding that some people can just deal with it is a little rude.

raissyrais

I wouldn't wanna stand 20 minutes, let alone 10 minutes in those 5 inch heels. And don't you dare take that cake away from me. ETA: JJs House total knockoff site.

missdelilah

Inkdancer said:

missdelilah said:

I've been to a lot of ceremonies that didn't have chairs for everyone. I don't know if this is a big deal anymore. Friends who've wanted long, formal, ceremonies generally have them in a church, which comes equipped with seats. Friends who've wanted shorter ceremonies did them outdoors, or in a non-religious venue, and no, there weren't enough seats at any of them, and at one, no seats at all. I don't see this as an issue so long as people who really need seats are given them. A lot of the venues we looked at offered either no seating, or twenty seats for the ceremony. Cocktail receptions don't tend to offer seating for everyone. It just seems like such a NBD in my book, so long, as I've said, anyone who needs a chair because they can't stand for half an hour gets one. If you can't stand for half an hour because your shoes are uncomfortable, suck it up. I'm sure you've spent longer than that waiting in those same shoes for entry to a club, or standing in a crowded bar.

Recommending JJsHouse seemed really odd. Obviously this woman has never had any experience with this company.

Edit: paragraphs!

But who decides who gets a seat? I look perfectly normal but have arthritis, and standing for a long time wrecks me for days. I think deciding that some people can just deal with it is a little rude.

I don't know how it's worked at other people's weddings.  Obviously we're inviting people we know well, and I know that two of them have severe arthritis, my dad can't stand for a long period of time, and a few other guests have mobility issues.  Thus, if we had this problem, we would be making sure those people were taken care of first.  But I don't know how you'd account for the plus ones.  I'm pleased that we hired some extra chairs.  

I just went through all my outdoor wedding albums, and of course, there are so few pictures of the guests during the ceremony, but here's a wedding I went to a couple of years ago.  Way fewer chairs than guests, uneven ground, and it had rained all month until that weekend, so the mud was just sucking heels down.  Still, I didn't hear any complaints.  I imagine I would have heard one or two considering how our family is.  

artbyallie

@missdelilah, you're complaining about your heels sinking, no? And really, the picture looks like just the kind of thing to make me miserable. I wouldn't have been able to see a thing. And this is not meant as a judgement of you or your family at all, just pointing out how inconvenient it is to not have seats. And even people you're close to may hide medical issues. For that matter, I didn't know for a very long time until I was explicitly told that one of my mom's aunts is blind in one eye and that's at least possible to notice visually. She just doesn't ever bring up that fact or any problems it may cause her.

OliveOilsMom

And look at the way the girl in the coral dress towards the middle of the picture is standing. She has her weight on one leg with her arms crossed in front. I'm sure she was shifting her weight back and forth. How long were you standing prior to the ceremony starting? That needs to be factored in as well. _________________________________________________________________________ I think the only way no chairs for a ceremony can work is if the wedding is a very casual affair. Literally everyone is just having a good time, eating and drinking in a cocktail hour type setting prior to the ceremony. There is an announcement made the ceremony is starting. Everyone goes outside, the bride processes in immediately. It's a super short 5 minute ceremony and then everyone goes right back in to keep celebrating with more food and drink. Even then, I would think that type of thing should be with a very small group of people. There was a set up like this on Four Weddings once, but that ceremony was way too long to have people stand for the whole thing.

missdelilah

@artbyallie I wasn't complaining about the heels sinking, merely mentioning that they did. I figured when you stand up with someone, you can't really be fidgeting a lot. Ruined a new pair of suede heels, but oh well. I was still pleased to be part of the wedding party.

And you're right. Some people won't disclose medical problems. I seem to know about a lot of people's medical problems, and I'm really not sure why. I think it's partly because I live so far away, and I speak to family and friends regularly, but they forget that I speak to everyone else too. The only time I've discussed other people's medical issues has been when I've had two people tell me they have they same condition, and I asked whether they wanted to share emails and discuss treatment options (rheumatoid arthritis: hard to deal with) and they ended up being very happy for that. They weren't people who knew each other to begin with though.

@OliveOilsMom I'm not saying that not having enough chairs is ideal (thus why we're hiring extra), simply that it seems relatively common in my experience. I have a memory that everyone was kept waiting quite a while for this one, but because it was in park, there were plenty of places for people to sit while they waited; they simply couldn't see the ceremony from those seats. Bit of a bummer that there were no cocktails or snacks to keep them occupied. But there are really strict laws on what you're allowed to do on public land. No alcohol at all, and huge fines for any trash left - I imagine it would be a massive feat to make sure that so many people didn't leave any thing behind if they all had paper plates and cups.

Edited: Because TK thinks we all know how to code. Sigh.

caitlinmca

I'm 25 years old. I couldn't do a minimal or no chair ceremony as I've had 5 hip surgeries and with our wedding we are keeping it short and sweet at roughly 15-20 minutes and at that point with the whirlwind of the excitement I don't think I will notice my hips at all that day, or I hope I won't. 

I will be doing most of the stuff on the list, except the professional make up, I am using a Mary Kay lady instead, I don't know if you call that professional.