FB Rules for us "old" family members

jenajjthr

Ran across this http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennie-shulkin/parent-facebook-advice_b_5695082.html  (someone please teach this non techie how to do a "clicky") 

I'm 40, and I find her rules to be condescending and rude. I do have a 90 year old grandpa that doesn't really know how to use FB, but he's 90! I give him latitude, but the fact of the matter is this man is on FB! His mental capacity is still there, he still drives (better than his son...my step dad who is 68), is in better health than most of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids. So what if he makes a post that should have been a PM or likes something "first."  

This girl needs to get over herself or needs to to learn to us the FB functions better herself. 

/end rant/

smalfrie19

as a 23 y/o who is friends with BOTH of my grandparents (over 60) on FB. this is UTTER bullcrap. I like when my grandparents like or comment on stuff of mine on FB and I try to share things with them that I think they will like to their timelines and I like when they do the same.

Perhaps this so called figurative person shouldn't be posting public pictures with attractive boys to seek attention if they don't want it to actually be public....

lyndausvi

Oh god.   I find them to be condescending also.

All my siblings had a rule when each of their kids get on FB that they MUST friend grandma and aunts and uncles.  Reason, accountability.  If you do not want grandma to see the post, there is a good chance you do not want the rest of the world to see it either.    

 The first kid is almost 20 now.  She is friends with all her grandparents, aunts and uncles.   She is even friends with some of my parent's friends (who she knows personally)   She uses FB like it's intended.  To keep in touch with family and friends.   She doesn't over-share or make embarrassing posts.  None of my nieces/nephews do.

VulgarGirl

What the fuck is this bullshit? I don't care if my grandma likes and comments on every single one of my posts. She's my grandma she's proud of me it's a grandma thing I'm good with it.

I've had one issue with a realitive who kept lecturing me about cussing in my status updates. And I just told them "I'm a grown up I cuss. If you want to utilize the hide function go for it" because I don't need someone policing my language. But that was it.

holyguacamole79

These rules are extremely condescending. BUT, I so have a family friend who is a grandma who comments on EVERYTHING I post. I find it a little annoying and not embarrassing at all, but I would never dream of saying this to her. Heck, I know plenty of people in their 20s with worse fb etiquette than seniors.

BrandNewJ

This is so rude! I love being friends with my family members, and I'm in my mid-20s. I love my family and we don't live on the same side of the country. We comment,like, talk and text all the time. Not just on Facebook, but Instagram too. Sorrynotsorry.

levioosa

Ugh.  I get a kick out of my Dad's comments.  They're hilarious.  

"1) Only 'like' something on your child's or grandchild's page if a number of people have already 'liked it.' Assuming the role of the pioneer, as the first to 'like' a picture or status, often has a negative impact on potential peer responses. "

If I'm friends with anyone who gets freaked out enough by an older person not to "like" a picture I post, then I really don't want to be friends with them anyways.  The whole thing is so stupid.  

I agree with MagicInk, although now there are pretty easy ways to selectively share with certain groups of people.  I've also known parents who don't allow their kids to have a facebook unless they have access to the password.  

I really never understood how the concept of posting carefully escaped so many people my age, and especially almost every young person now (IMO  you shouldn't even have a FB if you are in Jr. High).  I get it, you don't want your parents to see that you're talking to a boy.  But you're really going to post a status like, "Gettin' high and f8ck the consequences!" complete with picture.  Do you not understand that shit is forever ingrained for future employers and children to find?!

banana468

I think it's smart to say to the younger generation that once it's out there it's out there forever.   I'm not a fan of being tagged in bachelorette photos that involve penises but that's probably the worst that I've ever seen of myself on Facebook.    At this point, I'm 34 and a mother of 1.9 so the shots of me that make it to FB are fairly innocuous and I do my best to avoid making my way to STFU Parents.

afox007

The only one of those rules I tried to ingrain in my grandma was that certain things can be a PM or phone call and do not belong on my wall. I have had her write on my wall all the things I forgot at her house including condoms; she has also asked if my UTI was getting any better. 

I did have an aunt call me out for my language and I just rolled my eyes, this was literally the first contact I had with her in 15 years and it was to tell me to watch my mouth...I may have been drunk because my reply was "I didn't type with my mouth ".

arrippa

I am shocked so many grandparents are on facebook. My grandmother can't even use the microwave. My mom doesn't post much but my dad, who is an ardent republican, posts anti-Obama stuff and FOX news all the time. 

ShadeofGreen816

This seems really typical of this generation (of which by some definitions I am a member)... its the opposite of "respect your elders." Instead, you're telling them to respect you? For real??

The only caveat I have is that I do have an aunt, who I have had to hide most of my statuses from, as she has some radical/extreme political ideals and a big mouth and has a tendency to get in arguments with my friends on my FB wall to totally benign statuses of mine. That is actually kinda embarrassing. Luckily, she doesn't share my last name so maybe they think she's just crazy!

lovesclimbing

To be honest, the only person who has done any of those things one wall (liking and commenting on everything) is 17! And I added her to my restricted list because it got annoying. But I've never had that problem with grandparents or relatives. And yea, I think these rules are stupid. Or if there's something you REALLY don't want grandparent to comment on, use the security features on your post and hide it from them.

steph861

My mom can be like this (liking and commenting on everything). She does it with pretty much all family members. It pisses me off, but I just hide most posts from her so it's not really a problem anymore.

The only thing I've had to talk to her about isn't even on the list. It's not uncommon for her to send several really long PMs in a row, most with half a dozen questions clustered in the first paragraph. I find it overwhelming and don't reply right away (which sometimes pisses her off, since she can see that I've seen the message). But that's not so much a Facebook problem, since she could do it via email or text (and sometimes does).
ETF typo

beethery

The only family members I'm friends with on FB are my cousins who actually use it, and one aunt.

My mom, even before she had a facebook account, would go online, seek me out, and then corner me about whatever profile picture I was using. Because that was literally all she could find. I changed my fb name, and then when she finally did get an account, I blocked her.

All this, and I didn't even live at home. I very rarely add anyone to begin with, and I mostly just use it to peruse through the feed, but I don't add any older family members (beside my aunt who is cool shit). Most of my older family members don't even have fb, so I don't worry about it.

tigersgirlgv

Sure, my grandma comments on really old posts or about things completely un-related to the post she's commenting on. Do my sister and I get a laugh out of it sometimes, yes. Would I ever tell her not to post or to post differently, no!

I'm glad we're able to keep in touch through facebook and I know that she loves being able to keep up with our lives.

Inkdancer

My Uncle Jon, who is almost 80, does not understand that comments and wall posts = public. He writes little emails in them and signs them all. He is the only family member of mine who does this. Everyone else uses Facebook with proficience (even if some of their habits annoy me). Heck, my mom figured out how to text and Facebook before I did! Somebody needs to get off her high horse.